Unless you had been sleeping through the whole of 2014, you would know that no matter how mundane it seems to be here, life is never boring on our sunny shores.

Presenting to you the sad, the ugly, the bad and the best of 2014 local news stories.

1. Botak Sports Hub Pitch

Source: Sgag Facebook

In one sentence: Our new National Stadium, which costs obviously quite a bit of taxpayers’ money to construct, maintain and operate, was finally launched – only for everyone to discover that its pitch resembles more of a beach than a sports field.

What the…? The grass, or to be more precise, the lack of grass issue got so bad that it aroused the ire of international football coaches and experts , while local football star Baihakki Khaizan slammed it as a “stadium for concerts”.

And the reaction from Singaporeans? Puny, of course!

#YourPitchIsSoSandy might as well call it son of a beach.

— MrGZJcool-FGO (@CCHManUtd) October 13, 2014

2. Giant Pr**k Anson Casey Proves That Rich People Aren’t Necessarily Nice – Or Smart

In one sentence: Physically repulsive and morally even more revolting ang moh expatriate, who’s the husband of ex-Miss Singapore Universe Bernice Wong, insulted Singaporeans on facebook and pissed everyone off – big time.

Seriously ah? In January 2014, Anton Casey, then a senior wealth manager at Crossinvest Asia, posted the following comments: "Daddy where is your car & who are all these poor people?"

He also posted this on his facebook:

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Wanna vomit more? Watch this:

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Within days, he had gained international notoriety, received a very restrained scolding from Foreign Affairs and Law Minister K. Shanmugam, was made fun of by Singaporeans, got trolled by his fellow British back home, lost his job, and shipped his family out of Singapore on economy class.

Over a short span of a few days between April 29 and May 2, the 39-year-old was mentioned in a series of positive articles.

It is still not known if Casey had managed to wash the stench of public anger off him yet.

3. Sim Lim Square Debacle

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In one sentence: Worried that British expatriate Anton Casey might pip him to the ‘Douchebag of the Year’ accolade, Sim Lim Square shop owner Jover Chew (above, right) forces a Vietnamese tourist (above, left) to tears by scamming the latter of his money.

What the…? Jover Chew was the owner of ‘Mobile Air’, then Sim Lim Square shop.

His shop already had a long and notorious history of conducting business in a shady manner. For example, he was known to have forced customers to pay for ridiculously expensive warranty packages before they were allowed to receive the mobile phones which they had already paid for, and issued cash refunds using kilograms worth of coins. In November, Jover and gang did the same thing to a Vietnamese tourist named Pham Van Thoai , which resulted in the latter getting on his knees and tearfully begging for a refund.

Expectedly, this enraged justice-seeking Singaporean netizens big time, who decided to give Jover a taste of his own medicine. Pranksters posing as Jover ordered pizzas and delivered them to his home, and online vigilantes dug up unflattering photos of the nasty man himself. The online acts caused Chew's mum to shed tears over the saga, with a Minister asking for restraint on online vigilantism.

Singaporeans then showed the world that we’re a small country with a big heart by raising more than $1,600 within 54 minutes to address the grievances faced by Pham. Eventually, more than $15,000 was raised, part of which was used to purchase an iphone and food items for Pham.

Nevertheless, Pham honourably declined the iphone, claiming that he had already accepted an earlier donation from someone else, and cannot accept more money than the amount which he had lost. Faith in humanity, restored.

Source: Sgag Facebook

4. The National Library Board’s Pulped Fiction

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In one sentence: One of Singapore’s most popular public institutions, the National Library Board (NLB), had deemed three children book titles to not be “pro-family”, and had decided to pulp these titles, prompting displeasure from some segments of the public and a widespread national debate.

Seriously ah? In July, the NLB had decided, after receiving a complaint from a member of the public, to ban three children book titles – ‘And Tango Makes Three’, ‘The White Swan Express’, and ‘Who’s In My Family’ – all of which share a similar theme of families comprising same-sex parents .

This decision did not go down well with other members of the public and the local literary community, who retaliated with two online petitions to reinstate the titles, a book reading event featuring the banned titles, and a boycott of NLB-linked events.

Eventually, the NLB was instructed by Communications and Information Minister Yaacob Ibrahim to restore two of the titles in its adult section. The last title had already been disposed off based on an earlier review of books.

5. Indonesian Warship Makes A Splash

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In one sentence: Our big not-sure-if-friendly neighbor, Indonesia, has apparently run out of national heroes to name their warships after, having resorted to naming a naval frigate after two Indonesian marines who were involved in the 1965 MacDonald House bombing in Singapore.

And then? The naming of the ship after the two convicted bombers – Osman Mohamed Ali and Harun Said ,who killed three innocent civilians and injured 33 others – naturally sparked a wave of resentment among Singaporeans and heightened tensions between both countries.

Our leaders reacted swiftly, banning the warship from calling at our ports or naval bases. Opinion leaders, like former MFA Permanent Secretary Bilahari Kausikan, published a hard-hitting commentary, saying that Indonesian Foreign Minister Marty Natalegawa “entirely missed the point” about Singapore’s displeasure.

Nevertheless, the Indonesian military refused to rename the warships or to apologise for the naming of ships. Okay lor, they win liao lor.

6. Even After So Much Media Attention, Roy Ngerng’s Surname Remains Unpronounceable

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In one sentence: Ngerng is a socio-political blogger, a seasoned protestor on CPF matters, a shrewd fund-raiser (for himself), and – perhaps most noticeably – a heckler who targets special needs children.

Seriously ah? In the not-too-distant past, virtually no one had heard of Roy Ngerng, or knew how to pronounce his surname. That was until he was issued a Letter of Demand by Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong’s lawyers in May 2014 for accusing the latter of “criminal misappropriation of the monies paid by Singaporeans to the Central Provident Fund (CPF)”.

Over the next few weeks, he had removed his original blog post but continued to publish other posts on the CPF. He was finally found to have defamed PM Lee by a High Court judge.

Nevertheless, his one single action – of disrupting an innocent performance by special needs children at Hong Lim Park – sparked the loudest furore, drawing flak from politicians from both the ruling and opposition parties.

So 2014 has been a year full of changes for Ngerng…oh wait…with an exception being the only constant – we still can’t pronounce his last name.

7. Andy’s World Cup Windfall

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In one sentence: Our National Council on Problem Gambling’s advertising campaign spectacularly backfired after the fictional boy in its campaign, “Andy”, made a windfall after his father made him bet on Germany to win the World Cup.

Really meh? Of the 32 teams participating in the world cup, NCPG had to choose the one team which would make gambling look like an awesome investment proposition rather than an addictive vice.

Apparently, the humble advert got so famously infamous, it was lampooned internationally in the Jimmy Fallon show and 9gag.tv .

Forgot the advert already? Relieve pure comedy gold here:

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8. The Pioneer Generation Rewarded

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In one sentence: The government’s $9 billion Pioneer Generation Package is very, very good news.

Scrolling through our list, does it not seem that 2014 is a negative year, full of incompetent grass-growers, Porsche-driving wealth managers, dishonest iphone salesmen, Penguin-fearing librarians, insensitive Indonesian Generals, discourteous hecklers, and failed advertisers?

Fortunately, a single positive news event probably triumphs everything else on this list: The government’s Pioneer Generation Package.

So good meh? The Pioneer Generation Package is basically a healthcare package which will, on average, distribute about $20,000 to every Singaporean aged 65 years and above.

This means that around 450,000 Singaporeans will stand to benefit from goodies such as annual Medisave top-ups, Medishield subsidies, discounts at polyclinics, and disability assistance schemes.

What’s more, it’s refreshing to notice that the government has produced easy-to-understand videos featuring local stars to explain the Pioneer Generation in Malay, Tamil, Mandarin and other Chinese dialects.

And they’re pretty well-made videos too – check some of them out yourself:

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Top photo from Urban Redevelopement Authority Facebook page.

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