"Dec. 7 was supposed to be my death anniversary," Twitter user @laladadii said.

And in a series of viral tweets, @laladadii shared her experience with attempted suicide a year ago.

The twitter thread has since gone viral with over 17,000 retweets.

Planned to take her own life

@laladadii, who lives in the Philippines, planned to take her own life on Dec. 7 last year.

That day, she went to school as usual, and left during lunch-time.

On the way home, she stopped by a hardware shop to buy some rope.

https://twitter.com/laladadii/status/1071331538892017664

As she paid for the rope, her "hands were shaking" but all she could think of was: "This was all be over soon."

Making arrangements

She went on to describe how she tidied and organised the things in her room, including making arrangements for things she had borrowed from friends.

https://twitter.com/laladadii/status/1071332067739201536

After crying for almost an hour, she decided to call her friends to say goodbye:

"I told them what I was about to do and how much they all meant to me and how thankful I was but that I was tired. I told them I couldn't do it anymore. I cried after calling them. I cried so hard. I cried because I felt like I would be hurting them."

Failed suicide attempt

@laladadii said that she could not "remember any pain [she] felt when [she] did it". However, she did describe the feeling of something "pulling [her] chest".

She also felt like she was "falling".

Next thing she knew, she was on the floor and her grandmother was holding her head while asking her why she was crying.

https://twitter.com/laladadii/status/1071332479728898048

This time, she said she sobbed because she didn't die.

Friends and family distraught

In the Twitter thread, she described how her loved ones were distraught upon finding out about the incident.

Her grandmother wouldn't stop yelling, saying that she wished she had known so she would not have left her in the house alone.

Her father also kept asking her why she did it, saying that "there was nothing wrong with [her]".

She also saw both her best friend and brother in tears:

"I was shocked. My brother rarely cried. It was the first time in a while that I saw him cry."

"You are not alone"

@laladadii mentioned that she struggled to share her story -- She didn't want people to pity her nor think she was doing it for the attention.

However, after hearing about more people going through similar situations as she did, she felt that it was important to let others know that they will "be okay".

"You're hurting. You're tired. You're stressed. You've got big and small problems. It seems to difficult to solve. It seems like it won't ever go away but you have yourself and people around you. It'll pass and you'll be okay."

She also urged others not to "give up like [she] did" and even offered a listening ear for anyone who needed it:

"So please, don't give up like I did. You're strong. You've come this far. Fight a little harder. rest if you need to. Ask for help. Talk to someone. Talk to me, I'm always open."

You can read the Twitter thread here.

Helplines:

SOS 24-hour Hotline: 1800-221-4444

Singapore Association of Mental Health: 1800-283-7019

Institute of Mental Health: 6389-2222 (24 hours)

Tinkle Friend: 1800-274-4788 (for primary school-aged children)

Care Corner Counselling Centre (Mandarin): 1800-353-5800

Top photo from @laladadii's Instagram and screenshot from Twitter.

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