Being a teacher in Singapore is generally perceived to be a really tough job.

One of the reasons for that can sometimes be attributed to some parents thinking they can do the teacher's job better, or at the very least, undercutting the teacher's authority.

If only parents knew what teachers really felt about being trusted and left to do their jobs well.

Mother's post about daughter's teacher

A Facebook group, Childcare in Singapore, consists of parents of one to six-year-old children.

One of the things that the community does is to review child care centres, infant care centres, kindergartens and playgroups in the group.

So, when Jacklyn Kong posted her experience of a teacher scolding one of her daughters, one might have expected a slight rant on the overreach of the teacher or something along those lines.

But it turns out quite the opposite actually.

Teacher scolded daughter

Kong had brought her two daughters to their childcare.

"My daughters transferred to a new childcare this week. And both of them were adjusting well until today, my younger one cried when I brought her to her classroom. I passed her to the teacher and promised her I’d be back to see her after I bring Jie-Jie to her class."

When she returned, she saw that the teacher was scolding her daughter.

I returned at a time to see the teacher scolding my Daughter very sternly. I saw that my Daughter was still in tears, just the way that I left her moments before. I thought, “Wow... is the teacher scolding my girl for crying?” But I chose not to intervene and continued to observe silently from a corner. The assistant teacher saw me and signalled to the main teacher that “the parent is here”.

When Kong later saw the teacher, as she had made a promise to her daughter earlier to return, the teacher explained why she had scolded Kong's daughter.

"When I spoke to the teacher, she started apologising to me. She explained that she had to scold Elly sternly because she spat into another classmate’s face when he was trying to console her for crying.

The teacher looked apprehensive when she explained the entire situation to me, waiting for my reaction."

Mother did not blame teacher

However, to the teacher's surprise, not only did Kong not blame the teacher, she actually empowered the teacher instead.

"I got a shock to learn that Elly spat and apologised for my girl’s behaviour. And I told her, with all my blessings, that if my child does wrong, she ought to be disciplined, and that the teacher should not and does not have to apologise for it. At this point, I saw the teacher’s eyes tear up, from what I interpret to be tears of relief."

Which led Kong to this question.

"But my reflection was this: What have we as a society done, such that Teachers have to be afraid to do their jobs?"

Takes a village to raise a child

One reason for Kong's rather unique views as a parent might be due to her status as a secondary school teacher, which was why she talked about the importance of raising the child as a society, rather than just seeing it as a parental responsibility.

As a secondary school teacher, I can empathise with her, because I have met my share of parents who simply feel that Teachers should simply teach and not scold. Yet these same parents will throw the blame to us when their children behave badly at home.

“It takes a village to raise a child.” -African proverb

If we as parents truly love our children, we need to empower the villagers around us to love our children too instead of raining bricks on them when they try. Disciplining our children is loving them. The Teachers, the neighbours, the grandparents, are all trying to teach our children what it means to be a good person and we should not get upset with them when all they have are good intentions.

And finally, her concluding message to her teacher.

"My concluding appeal is this: The Teachers who love and teach our children, should NOT have to live in fear when they teach our children to be better people. We as parents, need to protect these Teachers instead of only “protecting” our kids. These Teachers give their heart and energy and deserve our respect and appreciation - because I know, there’s no way I can do their job better.

Thank you Teachers!"

Respect.

Other teacher-related stories

Top image via Ministry of Education’s Facebook page and Matthias

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