Yee dissed his mother, asked for permission to reveal diss
The 19-year-old ex-Singaporean and self-styled contrarian had recently posted on May 24 a screen shot of a conversation he had with his mother, where he acted in his usual petulant way:
It riled the commentariat online -- who have gotten bored of Yee's pro-paedophilia rhetoric -- as his response to his mother was clearly disrespectful and out of line, and managed to touch a raw nerve.
Yee's verbal abuse of his mother isn't new though. It builds on a running narrative that he doesn't really like the woman who gave birth to him very much.
However, it turns out, two can play the game.
Yee's mother responds
Her note will elicit a snot and cackle, but at the same time it is also sad.
In summary, Toh wrote:
• She is aware of Yee's post saying he doesn't love her
• But Yee had actually asked for her permission to post that screen shot message on his Facebook page
• He posted it only after she agreed
• Toh revealed she is working on communicating with Yee better, despite the difficulties in doing so
• She is more upset that her son said he doesn't love her, but she agrees he is not wrong to say that, because parent and child can be different people
• She feels it is a tragedy of any parent to find one's child turn out different from what was expected
• She advised having more children to dilute the odds of having a child who doesn't love the parent back
• But she will continue to love Yee unconditionally
• She and Yee still talk and she is satisfied with their relationship and proud of what he has done, even though she does not fully understand the things he says on the internet half the time
• And she hopes strangers will stop blaming her for how her son has turned out because she is not a major influence in his life
• And she is not about to pass on messages on behalf of others to him because there is no point and he won't listen
Therefore, despite having won asylum, being thousands of miles away and acting tough on Facebook, Yee still asks his mother for her permission before he does things that involve her.
This is Mary Toh's post in full:
I’m aware that Amos has been criticising me and explaining why he doesn’t love me as a mother on his Facebook page. I’d like to clarify the text message where I was advising him to sit straight to prevent back problems and he replied ‘shut the fuck up’. Amos asked for my permission to post that text message and only when I agreed did he post it. Amos did bring awareness to how he was upset from how I spoke to him and because of that I am now trying harder to foster better communication skills with him.
I’m a little upset that Amos very boldly said that he ‘didn’t love me as a mother’. However I don’t think he’s really wrong to say that. He’s right that we’re both very different people whether that’s just inborn or because of random chance. I don’t think parents can or should raise their child to be exactly the way that they want. A parent is a big influence to a child but not that big an influence, especially in this modern period where children are introduced to friends and the internet at a much earlier age. I think it’s best as a parent to not be disappointed if your child turns out differently from what you have expected, but instead try to embrace it.
I agree that children don’t always have to love their parents if they don’t. It seems very insincere to need to love someone just because people say you have to, and I definitely don’t ever want Amos to feel like he is forced to love me. This is a tragedy of being a parent, when you can choose to nurture and love a child unconditionally throughout his life and then eventually he might not love you when he grows up. It’s very sad but I think that’s something every parent should think of if they ever decide to give birth to a child. I think as a parent you need to feel joy just loving someone unconditionally and taking care of someone without expecting anything. If it’s so important that if you give birth to a child he/she must turn out to love you, then one may have to try having more children to increase the chances. Amos and I still talk, and even though he says he doesn’t love me, I’m still satisfied with our relationship and proud of many of the things he’s done.
I’m also of course aware that Amos was kicked out from his place again. As a parent I’m worried and advising him as much as I can on basic life skills so hopefully he won’t be kicked out again, and also of course providing emotional support whenever he needs it. I’m not sure how it’s like to find a place in America, so I’m counting on his friends in Chicago to guide him and teach him. I’ve spoken to those friends and they are very nice and caring.
Finally I want to address people who have blamed me for Amos’ behaviour that they find disagreeable. This is ridiculous and just an attempt to smear me for no good reason. I am not a huge influence to Amos’ life or his personality; the friends he talks to and the things he watches have played a far bigger role in shaping him than me. Plus it’s not as if I haven’t advised him countless times whenever I think what he’s doing is wrong. Sometimes he listens to me, but most of the time he doesn’t, should I start scolding and beating him? I studied early childhood education and most professionals on parenting would agree that loudly scolding or beating your child actually does more harm than good and are only for the parents who don’t know how to parent.
I deny responsibility that I should be blamed. If anyone wants to send me concerned messages to send to Amos thinking that it’ll convince him more because it’s from his mother, please don’t. It’s very annoying because not only does he not listen to me, I also don’t think I’m the right person to give him advice because honestly, I am very unsure what he’s doing; I can’t understand the things he’s saying on the internet half the time. So please don’t unnecessarily bother me; all such messages or harsh comments will be deleted and users blocked. Amos has also been deleting comments and blocking users on his page. It’s a waste of time for both of us to hear the same repetitive comments over and over without anything constructive, so we won’t.
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