After Teenage magazine's advice-giving "Dear Kelly" column was called out for giving poor victim-blaming and shaming advice, the magazine has come out to officially apologise in the evening of Nov. 11 via their Facebook page the same day the matter blew up online:

Hi everyone,

For those who aren't too familiar with Teenage, the Dear Kelly advice column has always been an open space for troubled teenagers to share their stories and in turn, receive Kelly's tough love, and no-nonsense advice. She is a qualified professional who has many years of experience counselling youths. We treat each story very seriously.

Here, we address the letter titled “Raped After Lying To Mum”. Many of you have raised concerns that Kelly's response swayed towards victim-blaming and condonation of rape. It is to be stated that Teenage does not condone rape or victim-shaming in any way.

Before we share Kelly's response on the matter, we would like to deeply apologise. Kelly's reply was largely focused on helping vulnerable girls understand the need to not place themselves in risky situations despite knowing the possible consequences. In no way does this mean that they deserve to be blamed. It simply means that they have to know how to protect themselves in a society where the definition of consent is still unclear to many.

We did not have the intention of playing a role in victim-blaming or to lead to the impression that we think that rape is acceptable. It is not.

Amidst everything, we are glad that this issue was highlighted because this invites discussion about an important issue. Amongst the heated comments that we have received, we are glad to see that they all carry the same message: that rape victims should never be blamed. This discussion is overdue. Our society has to talk about consent. About how 'No' means 'No'. About how the gesture of pushing away someone else's advances should not be confused as playing hard to get, amongst other indications of unwillingness. For girls, to recognise situations that they could avoid or at the very least, be wary of. For guys to know that intimacy should never be forced – especially if the other party is inebriated. This is an important conversation to be continued.

We would like to make amends. By continuously speaking out and raising awareness about youth issues that have long been swept under the rug. Starting with this.

We sincerely apologise. As we learn from this, we can only hope that the teenagers who are reading this can take away the true lesson of this entire experience. Firstly, to be aware of dangerous situations, to be aware of and understand consent and what it truly means. Secondly, to always handle such issues with sensitivity, tact and social awareness. Moving forward, we will continue to place the well-being of youth above all else. Once again, we deeply apologise for all the distress we have caused.

Sincerely,

The Teenage Team

They may have tried to respond with tact, but people weren't too convinced by their apology:

This was after the youth-centric magazine commented on public posts addressed to the magazine using a stock apology, which obviously didn't do much to quell the growing anger at the lack of sensitivity.

"Dear Kelly" advice columnist needs some advice herself

However, if Teenage was struggling to fend off criticisms, Kelly Chopard, the person behind "Dear Kelly" advice column, tried to respond and apologise -- to lesser appeal.

Those who read her explanation didn't feel any better after reading it.

Here's why: Even though Kelly might have had 30 years of experience speaking with youths and has counselling credentials, her tough love views might not have been keeping up with the times and are not representative of current widely-agreed protocol in dealing with something as sensitive as sexual assault.

Moreover, given that societal expectations and understanding of deviant acts have evolved and where the main focus is on discussing and addressing issues of "consent", it is recognised that victims must be given the benefit of the doubt and not actively assigned blame.

Conclusion? Apology obviously not accepted.

Related articles:

Teenage magazine responds to “Dear Kelly” rape-victim-blaming outrage with Facebook comment

Teenage magazine’s Dear Kelly gives victim-blaming “advice” to girl who was raped 

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