On Monday, March 27, a Singaporean couple was sentenced to jail for starving their Filipino foreign domestic worker (FDW) until she lost 20kg — plunging from 49kg to 29kg within the span of a year and three months.

Lim Choon Hong and his wife Chong Sui Foon pleaded guilty last year to starving their Filipino FDW Thelma Oyasan Gawidan by forcing her to subsist on only white bread and instant noodles for over a year.

Lim and Chong also offered to pay Gawidan $20,000 as a settlement agreement after District Judge Low Wee Ping announced that he was considering jail terms for the couple, prompting the latter to ask, "Does this mean you can pay your way out, because you can afford it?”

Can you really afford a maid?

Low's question prompted us to think about the true costs of hiring a foreign domestic worker.

Many of us think of the employment of an FDW in financial terms — and rightly so, since it can be pretty expensive.

From the agency fee to FDW levy to security deposit, it's estimated that the upfront payment for a FDW ranges anywhere from $500 to $2,600, according to a 2015 MoneySmart article. And that's excluding monthly salary (up to $500), and food and accommodation costs (an extra mouth and body in your home).

But to only consider the hole it is going to burn in your pocket neglects a far more fundamental question: Are you able and ready to make room for another living, breathing, food and water and electricity-consuming human being in your home?

Surprise! Maids are real human beings too

Let's be clear on one thing: When you employ domestic help, you are enlisting the services of an actual human being to help with your domestic needs. You are not buying a piece of machinery, or some kind of zombie slave to toil under your iron fist.

Foreign domestic workers are first and foremost people who deserve the same respect that we so often demand for ourselves.

[Chong's behaviour] “stems from and reflects a selective and discriminatory perception and treatment of the victim, and is not related to an underlying disorder”

- District Judge Low Wee Ping (Dec 2016)

Unfortunately, many Singaporean FDW employers and agents don't seem to be familiar with this concept of mutual respect, leading to many stories of maid abuse, such as this story below of a potential domestic help who had trouble finding an employer who would give her two rest days a month.

As rightly pointed out by Low, the root of the issue is discrimination — many of us seem to think of foreign domestic helpers as lesser beings just because they clean our houses and serve us food.

It really doesn't take much to realise how ridiculous that is, though. Most of us work for other people too, but God forbid that we should be denied our weekends or days off, have our salaries withheld, or worse, get attacked with an iron.

Of course, if your domestic help is willing to accept working with one rest day per month (while getting compensated in lieu of her mandatory off days), or chooses, of her own free will, to live on bread and instant noodles, then by all means, go ahead (though it opens up another iffy can of worms).

For the most part, though, employing the services of a domestic helper starts with according them respect, and the basic recognition that they are human, just like us. They have families and loved ones back home whom they might need to contact once in awhile, and they need rest, adequate (nutritious) food, water, electricity, just to name a few... we can't believe we're saying this, but these are non-negotiable.

Take the age-old truism: do unto others only what you would have done unto you. You won't work for free, nor will you work without rest; you won't work for abusive employers, nor will you tolerate abuse or violence. Neither would anyone, much less your domestic helper.

So the next time we contemplate employing the services of a domestic helper, perhaps the question we should really ask ourselves is: Are you *really* able to afford a maid?

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