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Communications and information minister Josephine Teo shared her thoughts on parenthood and on growing up under the care of her mother and grandmother in an interview on the "前线追踪" ("Frontline") programme by Chinese-language TV station 8world.

Teo, a mother of three, was asked if being a mother was a sacrifice.

She said: "You have to make effort for everything that is meaningful, like parenthood. If you call it a sacrifice, you will not feel good and your life will be miserable. Therefore, I generally hope to take a different perspective on these matters."

She added that parenthood comes with "huge payoffs" too, and that "nothing can replace a relationship between a parent and a child".

"When you decide to be a parent, you gain this valuable relationship which nothing can replace," she said.

"I think it has its special value."

Parenting requires effort

However, Teo acknowledged that parenting requires effort.

She said: "No doubt one has to give and make effort when becoming a parent. But this is something worthwhile. I think there is no doubt about it."

In line with the upcoming Mother's Day, which falls on Sunday, May 8, Teo was interviewed with her mother, who was referred to as Madam Leow.

Leow's reply to the same question was: "You can't call it a sacrifice."

"It’s your child, what sacrifice?" she asked rhetorically.

She added: "If you bring him or her to this world, you have to complete your job."

Teo lived with her mother from age 15

The interviewers also asked Teo about the fact that she started living with her mother from age 15, having been raised by her grandmother, who she referred to as "Popo", or "grandmother".

Teo recalled: "To a certain extent, Popo also played the role of a mother to me. Popo and my mother were aligned when it came to disciplining us. I have never heard them quarrel over this. My mother always respected Popo, and accepted the way Popo disciplined us."

She explained that she adopted her mother's thinking when she had children and was living with her husband's parents, bearing in mind that they acted "for the children's good" even if their methods might be different from hers.

"It did not matter, as the children can adapt," said Teo.

Teo hid poor results from mother because of basketball

Teo also revealed that she failed Additional Mathematics in her first semester of Secondary 3, but kept the result secret as she did not want her mother to stop her from playing basketball.

"I was in my teenage years, which was a period of exploration. I enjoyed playing basketball with a group of friends, so I was often out and my mother was worried about me," Teo explained.

Teo's mother nonetheless found the exam paper and promptly enlisted the help of a tutor for Teo.

Teo says she also realised that she should "work hard and not neglect my studies despite having fun," and managed to pass the subject by the end of the year.

"So thank you for your timely intervention," said Teo, addressing her mother.

Her mother then quipped back jokingly: "I am honoured to be able to help you."

Teo and her siblings "dared not misbehave"

Teo was cared for by her grandmother as her mother was working as a police officer.

"She was fierce and strict. She would remind us not to test her limits," recalled Teo.

She explained that she and her siblings knew their mother's work was tough, and that she needed to rest when she returned home.

"I do not know why we were conscious of that when we were young, no one taught us that, but we saw how tired she was, so we played on our own and did not disturb her. It helped that we used to be part of an extended family, so my uncles and aunts were all around to take care of us, thus allowing mum to rest."

"That said, we know that our mother has expectations of us. She wants us to have good, upright characters, so we bore this in mind and dared not misbehave," said Teo.

Are Teo's three children "too many" or "too few"?

Teo, asked if three children was "too many" or "too few", replied that it was "a pity" that she could not have one more child.

She explained that she had three babies in two years, with the latter two being twins.

"I was under great pressure and felt unprepared and was always time-pressed," she said.

However, when her children were around four or five, she considered having more, but dropped the idea as she entered politics soon after.

She explained: "I felt there were many things I had to handle in my constituency, and it would be very difficult for me to cope if I had more children. I was responsible to my residents, and I also wanted to be responsible to my family and children."

"It is a pity. We all felt that having one more kid would be better," she said.

Full TV segment and interview

You can watch the episode of "Frontline" — which also includes Teo preparing traditional Hakka "Abacus Seeds" dish for her mother — here.

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