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It seems like the post-divorce mud-slinging between Mandopop singer Wang Leehom and his ex-wife Lee Jinglei has come to an end.
The 35-year-old Lee uploaded another long letter on her Instagram and Weibo pages yesterday (Dec. 23), hoping that it would "properly mark an end to the persisting disturbance and let everyone resume their peaceful lives".
Importance of an apology
In her letter, Lee also explained the intentions behind her actions one final time and apologised for causing a disturbance on the Internet.
She also explained why she resorted to such a public approach.
"Some netizens questioned: 'Why don’t you settle this privately? Why must you be so harsh to the father of your three children?'
If there was another way, no one would willingly choose this way. Actually, if not for my three children, it’s very difficult for me to live to this day while dealing with an issue that has left me helpless and heartbroken.
Privately, I have tried everything that I could think of. Even until today, regardless if it is public or private, I have not received a sincere apology and I am still blamed for all of the problems.
'Is an apology that important? Why would you let the situation escalate to this point for the sake of obtaining an apology?'
Yes, an apology is very important. If a person is unable to admit his mistakes and continue blaming his mistakes on others, he would not be willing to repent or change.
I do not harbour any hatred, only blessings. All I have done is to ensure my children have a physically and mentally healthy father and a conducive environment to grow up in.
Hence, please do not use the children as a form of emotional or moral blackmail against me."
Normalising imperfections for children
The mother of three proceeded to explain her parenting values, specifically why she chose not to shy away from exposing Wang's alleged weaknesses in order to promote a façade of perfection for her children.
"If parents pretend to be perfect, the children would see their own imperfection as a flaw. A lot of children who are aware that their parents are not perfect or have made mistakes can still have a sound physical and mental well-being. They can still maintain a close parent-child relationship."
Lee also wrote that she refuses to endure "persistent bullying and slander" from Wang, his family, and his friends. Instead, she wrote that she would "rather choose to endure the children’s misunderstanding of [her]".
She believes that growing up in such a family environment would not bode well for her children, adding "I don't want my weakness to allow the present to become something my children has to face in the future on my behalf or have to pretend to live in a 'harmonious' family".
Providing Wang with support and assistance
Lee also maintained that her actions were motivated by her desire for her children to have a father who is physically and mentally healthy.
"I do not believe that I should let the father continue to hurt himself and others and deprive him of the opportunity to change for the sake of hiding his mistakes from the children.
What’s more important than career and image is his physical and mental well-being and that the children can have a father who is physically and mentally healthy.
On his road to improvement, I will continue to provide him with support and assistance and hope that everyone can still support him after he has changed for the better.
I hope the children can learn from our experiences and let them believe that people will always make mistakes. As long as one can face their mistakes bravely, they would have the resilience to work hard on changing themselves regardless of what low points they encounter."
Never wanted to sue anyone
In response to accusations that all she has done is "for money" and she would not sue now that she has received the house, Lee claims she "never wanted to resort to suing him, let alone sue an elderly who is over 80 years old", referring to Wang's father who previously spoke up for his son.
"Most importantly, it’s because he is willing to apologise. Regardless of what kind of apology, I see it as a good start.
My intention has always been for me, my children and society to have a different future.
Regarding the 'gifting' of the house, I will not accept it, so you all would not need to use this matter to misinterpret my intention. Since the beginning, it’s not about seeking money or revenge."
Lee also adds that she believes that the law will be fair and distribute assets to her and her children according to what they are entitled to.
Apology to innocent parties
Last but not least, Wang's ex-wife apologised to "the innocent parties who have been dragged" into this mess as well as the media and netizens.
All relevant parties in this matter, regardless of who they are, have paid a hefty price, she added.
She concluded her letter with the hope that everyone would be able to return to their peaceful lives and without any more online bullying incidents.
"Hope we would able to soothe the pain in our hearts and enjoy peaceful times, and become the change that we want to see."
You can check out her original post here:
Netizens reactions
Comments left on her Instagram post have been mostly positive.
Comment translates as "Beautiful ending". Screen shot via Lee Jinglei's Instagram page.
Comment translates as "Really pleased that the children has a mother with the right outlook on the world, life, and values! You are great, it's been hard on you in your journey here." Screen shot via Lee Jinglei's Instagram page.
Comment translates as "As a mother myself, I completely agree with your views. Don't let the children question their worth or cause their confusion, you are the bravest mother! All the best!" Screen shot via Lee Jinglei's Instagram page.
However, the comments on the Weibo post contained far more negativity and scepticism than the Instagram comments.
Comment translates as "You started this, and now you want peace because you say so? How many people's youth have you ruined? You've avoided responding to the allegations of forced marriage and invoked netizens to attack Wang's unofficial pre-wedding history? Based on the outcome, you've used social resources, and used excuses to let netizens criticise Wang. How is that feasible?". Screen shot via Lee Jinglei's Weibo page.
Comment translates as "Initially you said you didn't want anything but an apology. Eventually, you were exposed so you said you want everything. Then, netizens scolded you so you changed your words again and say you don't want the house anymore and hope for the law to resolve it. If that's the case, why did you disturb us in the first place and lie to the masses? RMB 150 million (~S$31 million) + domestic helpers, nanny, chauffeur + RMB210,000 (~S$44797.74) worth of monthly alimony + Los Angeles property + fund are still available, right? You've received everything yet you say you haven't received anything, do you get to say whatever you like?" Screen shot via Lee Jinglei's Weibo page.
Comment translates as "Lee Jinglei, I advise you to stop posting on Weibo. At this time, why come out to clarify who had affairs and who didn't? Don't you think more explanations are excessive? Aren't they unnecessary? On the contrary, I think you've received more favours from Wang Leehom, hence you've come out to clarify! Following Wang Leehom's apology and the Viya (a Chinese influencer who was recently fined for tax evasion) incident, it's best that you remain silent." Screen shot via Lee Jinglei's Weibo page.
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Top images via @jl.leilei on Instagram.