It is time to shift gears, change lenses and digest things the way the normal people on the street like you and me understand.

After days of reading and re-reading the usual officious-sounding words issued by the Singapore and Malaysia governments, as well as perusing the comments that roll off the lips of politicians from both sides, it is good to strip off the wrapping and unpack the goods to get to the meat of the matter.

mrbrown's alter ego Kim Huat

And what better way to take things one notch down (or up, depending on how inflammatory you see it) is allowing Kim Huat, Singapore Number One Territory Fan, to explain the territorial dispute between Singapore and Malaysia -- using good old-fashioned kopi c kosong.

All you have to know is that analogies for the current cross-strait tension are aplenty and limited by imagination.

For example, you can use tissue chope-ing, car parking and even two guys wooing a girl as analogies, because these are exactly the scenarios mirroring what is still going on out at sea in the western part of Singapore as these lines are written.

Here's the transcript of the relevant portion as huatsplain by Kim Huat, where using kopi c kosong as analogy works:

It is like we are drinking our kopi c kosong happily -- kopi c kosong is healthier for you, not so diabetes -- then you are drinking happily, then Malaysia you come and stick your straw into our cup and drink some. *Loud sucking sounds*

Then you say, "Okay, okay, we both don't drink this disputed kopi. We discuss whose kopi is this? Fudge off.

You put your saliva inside my kopi c kosong 14 times in two weeks already, I never slap your face very good already.

How would you like it if Singapore sends some tanks to KL and park down there. And then say, "Okay, okay, okay, we withdraw, you also withdraw this disputed KL area. Cannot, right? Cannot be like this, what?

So, how come three of your ships are still parked in our territorial waters? What are they doing there? Having picnic? Having a yacht bikini party? Having some Singapore chendol?

Or you can enjoy the 2-minute-47-second video: