We (tried to) make sense of an influencer’s very cheem Instagram post. We might have failed.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

By Mandy How | January 13, 2018

It can be embarrassing to make a grammar mistake (or two, or 10) online — especially if you have a following, no matter how small.

It’s especially shameful if it gets picked up by Facebook page Singaporean Influencers and Bloggers Write SHIT English and are Annoying AF, the unofficial grammar police whose sole purpose is to “mercilessly [mock] the standard of English writing in influencers and bloggers”. 

One of their latest posts features a screenshot from an Instagram user who has more than 6,000 followers:

In case you can’t see it:

“2018: State of grace. Buffeted by turbulence and bouts of self-reproach, I used to lament the encounter of agony and need to wrestle with overwhelming feelings. I realised that if you give the broken mind the modicum of attention as you would for a sprained ankle, you would be equipped with a repertoire of good moves to latch on when crises occur. I stopped trying to assuage my blizzard of worries by relying for my self-esteem and sense of comfort from people who I cannot control, and I started relying on my own compassion. The proclivity to annually craft resolutions, however cliche, gives us an opportunity and hope to be closer to our ideal selves. Here’s to embracing the natural arena of exploration by our panicked thoughts with a little bit of grace”

Welp.

We started off as confused as you might be, but as a result of some extensive investigation (and consultation with a dictionary), we simplify the above forest of text by replacing the cheem words with a more easily understood alternative.

To the best of our ability, of course:

2018: State of grace (leaf emoji)

In a religious context, to be in a “state of grace” means being without grievous sin. And in no particular context, what follows it is a leaf.

“Buffeted by turbulence and bouts of self-reproach, I used to lament the encounter of agony and need to wrestle with overwhelming feelings.”

Translated: Struck repeatedly and violently by chaotic changes in pressure and flow velocity and short periods of intense activity of blame directed at herself, she used to express passionate grief about the unexpected casual meeting with extreme physical or mental suffering and need to struggle with very strong feelings.

“I realised that if you give the broken mind the modicum of attention as you would for a sprained ankle, you would be equipped with a repertoire of good moves to latch on when crises occur.”

Translated: She realised that if you give the broken mind even a small quantity of attention, as you would for a sprained ankle, one would be supplied with a stock of well-practised moves to fasten oneself onto in times of immense difficulty or danger.

“I stopped trying to assuage my blizzard of worries by relying for my self-esteem and sense of comfort from people who I cannot control, and I started relying on my own compassion.”

Translated: She stopped trying to make her large number of worries suddenly arriving less intense by relying for her self-esteem and sense of comfort from people whom she cannot control (okay, we really are at a loss with this one), and she started relying on her own sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings and misfortune of others.

“The proclivity to annually craft resolutions, however cliche, gives us an opportunity and hope to be closer to our ideal selves.”

Translated: The tendency to regularly make resolutions by hand every year, however predictable or unoriginal, gives one hope and a set of circumstances that make it possible to be closer to our ideal selves.

“Here’s to embracing the natural arena of exploration by our panicked thoughts with a little bit of grace.”

Translated: She wishes to hold closely in her arms the natural scene of exploration by her sudden, uncontrollable, fearful, and anxious thoughts with smoothness and elegance.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(Editor’s note: We’ve redacted the Instagram user’s identity and face after the Facebook page took her post down)

Top image adapted from Instagram.

 

About Mandy How

Mandy is a pantry rat. She eats everything in the pantry (except other people's food).

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