You know the drill - your colleagues and you head out for a nice meal, and you're all set to be fully satisfied after a meh day - except that 3 hours later, you're $50 poorer, ready to star in the Hunger Games, and your colleagues don't recognise you anymore.

How did this tragedy befall you? We're guessing that you probably sat at the wrong place at dinner.

No fear, we're here to help you avoid throwing money into a black hole with our 100% scientific* analysis of the right place to sit so you get your money's worth at the next work dinner.

*Not really.

Assumptions:

- Food is only served from one side (left side).

- You're seated at a long table.

For visual reference, this is the type of table we assume you will be sitting in.

Analysis:

Best seats

Generally, the best location to seat yourself is either spot 2 or 5.

Reasons

The middle spot of the table is where dishes congregate after being passed down - giving you access to  more and a wider variety of food aka more bang for your buck.

Not only do you get to fill your stomach, the center spot of the table also provides you with the perfect symmetry to snap those #OnTheTable flat lays that are the staple of every other millennial these days.

Do not mock the importance of a dinner table flat lay. In today's day and age, it is imperative that you document your eating habits on social media so that your friends know that you're eating well. After all, if you had a meal but no one on Instagram knows, did you really eat at all?

If you also happen to be an attention whore like the spotlight, spots 2, 5, and 6 provide you with your very own soapbox to air your personal drama.

The centrality of the spots ensure that you have folks on either side of you to offer you tissues as you recount for the 23374655th time the drama of how Backstabber Ben betrayed you in the office.

Based on the above, most people would agree that the middle seats are the golden spots (well, maybe not these guys).

Silver linings playbook

Now, this is not to say the other seats do not have any positives.

Seats 1 and 4

These seats are perfect to have a leisurely private chat, while still staying in the general conversational loop.

So, if you and your friend/ colleague who you hate the least, ends up grabbing these 2 seats, it's smooth sailing conversation wise.

Food-wise however, things can get a little iffy.

While food regularly arrives piping hot, instead of indulging yourself, your 6 years of Moral Education training insist that you pass them along to your famished colleagues.

All you can do is sit and watch as the roast chicken and seared scallops prance pass as you curse yourself for choosing the wrong spot, and trying not to look like a greedy sourpuss.

Spots 3 and 6

This is for all intents and purposes the same as spots 2 and 5.

You are the centre, or close to the centre, of attention - ideal for extroverts, and food hoggers.

However there is one main difference for spots 3 and 6 - social etiquette dictates that they have the overwhelming burden of trying to engage spot 7 in a little small talk once in a while, and make sure that he/she doesn't die a neglected death.

Spot 7

Oh, you forgot there was one more spot? No worries, everyone will eventually forget them too.

In terms of both food, and conversation, this spot is the absolute worst. If spots 2 and 5 are the mecca of dinner parties, then 7 is the wasteland where conversations literally go to die.

The only upside is that you can do literally anything without anyone disturbing you - play with your phone, go over your taxes, write a new novel. Whatever you want, except human interaction of course. It is the perfect spot if this is you:

To each his own

Of course we should qualify that what is deemed the best spot for one person may not be the best spot for another. Ensuring you have an enjoyable meal boils down to a some strategising, and making sure you're kiasu enough to chope the ideal seat.

Or, if all else fails, you could just eat at a round table.

Top photo adapted from Getty Images. Photo by Hero Images. 

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