Ambassador-at-large Bilahari Kausikan is well-known for being a hard-nosed realist and a diplomat who doesn't mince his words.

An "undiplomatic diplomat" was what former New Paper and Today editor PN Balji called him.

But Bilahari is actually a big softie at heart when it comes to the late former President S R Nathan.

Here are a few key points from the eulogy he delivered at a private remembrance ceremony at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs yesterday afternoon, a speech that reveals more about both the late former President and the Ambassador:

1. Ambassador Bilahari came from a family of diplomats:

"Mr Nathan influenced me even before I joined MFA. One of Mr Nathan’s best friends was the late Chia Cheong Fook who was also once Permanent Secretary of MFA. Mr Chia was my father’s best friend. I grew up vaguely conscious of Mr Nathan as a background presence — obviously a personality to be reckoned with, but without clear resolution."

Bilahari's father is P. S. Raman, Singapore's first Ambassador to the then Soviet Union, and was based in Moscow from 1971 to 1976. Bilahari later followed his father's footsteps and became the Ambassador to the Russian Federation from 1994 to 1995.

2. Bilahari's first encounter with Mr Nathan was a scolding but he remembered Mr Nathan's smile.

"Mr Nathan broke into a smile — and those of you who know him should know he had a very charming smile — So what are you worried about? You did what you thought was right, it was stupid, but you won’t be hanged. Go, he said.

I got up and made for the door. He called me back. Good that you are willing to take responsibility for what you thought was right, he said. Never evade responsibility, but if you want to play such games again, ask someone who knows how, he said. I fled."

And life would have it that he was appointed as the 2015/16 S R Nathan Fellow for the Study of Singapore, a fellowship that honours Mr Nathan.

3. Two life lessons he passed on to his younger Foreign Service colleagues, in Mr Nathan's memory.

"First, clever as you may be, you are not as clever as you may think. You need others. Work as a team.

Second, take responsibility for what you do; do your duty without fear. Be loyal to your team."

4. And more importantly, Bilahari became Nathan's voice by articulating what the no-nonsense and unassuming Nathan was all about.

"Mr Nathan was tough on us. He had to be to whip us into shape. He had high standards that he would not compromise. He treated service to the country with high seriousness and taught us to take service seriously too. He was our mentor — a lifelong mentor. Mr Nathan left an indelible mark on MFA and all who worked for him. All subsequent PSs (permanent secretaries) only built on the foundations Mr Nathan laid...Mr Nathan will forever be The Boss...Rest easy Boss, we will not let you down."

Newer MFA folks probably viewed Bilahari as The Boss as Bilahari was the Permanent Secretary at MFA from 2010 to 2013.

5. And lastly, Bilahari evoked a deeply emotional quote that was used during the eulogy for the late Lee Kuan Yew (LKY).

During Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong's moving eulogy to the late LKY at the State Funeral last year, he evoked a quote from the monument of Sir Christopher Wren who built St Paul's Cathedral in London.

"Mr Lee Kuan Yew built Singapore. To those who seek Mr Lee Kuan Yew’s monument, Singaporeans can reply proudly: 'look around you'."

For Mr Nathan, it may well be MFA in Bilahari's eyes:

"Today MFA is an organisation that is respected worldwide. You can be proud of being part of an organisation Mr Nathan shaped. MFA is his monument. Do not let him down... His daughter told me that of all the many and varied appointments in which Mr Nathan served, he told his family that MFA was special to him, the others were duty."

For MFA is a place where Mr Nathan spent a large part of his public service career -- 3 years as its Permanent Secretary (1979 - 1982), 11 years as Ambassador in different roles, 19 years in total at MFA.

Below is the eulogy by Bilahari in full (reproduced with his permission):

Mr Nathan influenced me even before I joined MFA. One of Mr Nathan’s best friends was the late Chia Cheong Fook who was also once Permanent Secretary of MFA. Mr Chia was my father’s best friend. I grew up vaguely conscious of Mr Nathan as a background presence — obviously a personality to be reckoned with, but without clear resolution.

It was only in the earlier part of the 1970s that Mr Nathan acquired sharp focus in my consciousness. I was then pretending to study in the University of Singapore. I did something that could potentially have had serious ramifications — what I am never going to say, so don’t bother to ask. Nobody knew what I did except my fellow conspirators — or so I fondly believed — but things began to go pear-shaped and I thought I’d better come clean before everything crashed.

I telephoned my father, then (Singapore’s Ambassador) in Moscow. Before I could say anything on a line that like all Embassy lines was obviously tapped, my father said he knew about it and told me to tell Mr Chia. I dutifully called Mr Chia. Again before I could say anything he said he knew about it, and told me to go and meet Mr Nathan at MFA which was then in City Hall, now our National Gallery.

With more than a little trepidation, I made my way to City Hall and was tremblingly admitted into Mr Nathan’s presence. He wasn’t then working in MFA. He must have just borrowed an office in MFA to meet me as he was then in a department whose very existence a callow youth should not know about let alone visit. Again he already knew all about what in the innocence of youth I had thought was secret. Why did you do it, he demanded. I answered the best I could. Mr Nathan sat in grim faced silence, apparently pondering what I said.

Who else was involved, he suddenly barked at me. No one I said. Don’t lie. No one, I insisted. Again he pondered in silence. I sat before him nervously for what seemed an eternity.

Will you take responsibility, he finally asked. Exasperation momentarily overcame fear.

That’s what I’ve been trying to do, I snapped.

What’s the worst that can happen to you, Mr Nathan snapped back. I don’t know, I replied, puzzled. Will you be hanged, he asked.

I don’t think so, I replied, by this time thoroughly discombobulated, which I now realise was his intention.

Mr Nathan broke into a smile — and those of you who know him should know he had a very charming smile — So what are you worried about? You did what you thought was right, it was stupid, but you won’t be hanged. Go, he said.

I got up and made for the door. He called me back. Good that you are willing to take responsibility for what you thought was right, he said. Never evade responsibility, but if you want to play such games again, ask someone who knows how, he said. I fled.

I then had no idea that I would one day join MFA. But I tell this story in his memory because it eventually dawned on me that the lessons he intended to impart were of great and continuing relevance to foreign service officers.

I lived my career in MFA by those lessons and today, in Mr Nathan’s memory, I pass them on to you, my younger colleagues.

First, clever as you may be, you are not as clever as you may think. You need others. Work as a team.

Second, take responsibility for what you do; do your duty without fear. Be loyal to your team.

That was not to be the last time I made my way to Mr Nathan’s office with trepidation. Subsequent occasions were as a foreign service officer.

Mr Nathan was tough on us. He had to be to whip us into shape. He had high standards that he would not compromise. He treated service to the country with high seriousness and taught us to take service seriously too. He was our mentor — a lifelong mentor. Mr Nathan left an indelible mark on MFA and all who worked for him. All subsequent PSs (permanent secretaries) only built on the foundations Mr Nathan laid.

Today MFA is an organisation that is respected worldwide. You can be proud of being part of an organisation Mr Nathan shaped. MFA is his monument. Do not let him down.

In March this year, Mr Nathan hosted lunch for a group of the survivors of MFA’s City Hall days; as many of the aged but alive, ambulant and in country, of the old guard that could be rounded up, as well as (former senior civil servant) Benny Lim for whom Mr Nathan had great respect and affection.

I was hard on you, he told us, but you all always served me faithfully and I may not have told you before, but I want all of you to know that I appreciate it as this may be the last time we can meet together.

These were not his exact words — I was too moved to remember exactly; in the old days if he had known I didn’t take precise notes, I would have been in for a scolding — but that was the gist.

As hard-bitten a crew as those at that lunch all were, I’d bet that the others were as moved as I was.

When Mr Nathan was taken ill, I went to see him in hospital. His daughter told me that of all the many and varied appointments in which Mr Nathan served, he told his family that MFA was special to him, the others were duty.

We may have on occasion grumbled about him being a hard task-master, but I think all those who served him knew that MFA was special to him.

Mr Nathan demanded loyalty: Loyalty to colleagues, loyalty to the organisation and above all, loyalty to Singapore. But he more than amply repaid loyalty with loyalty; he took responsibility for us and never denied responsibility for us even when we were the brunt of well-deserved criticism. He scolded us when he had to; he never let us down. Work done, he treated us as family. Long after he left MFA, he kept a paternal eye on us. I suspect he’s doing so still.

And thus Mr Nathan in turn inspired loyalty, respect and affection. That is why to those of us who were privileged to serve him, Mr Nathan will forever be The Boss.

I can now almost hear Mr Nathan’s shade growling in my ear: Stop the long palaver and get back to work!

Rest easy Boss, we will not let you down.

Top photo from LKYSPP website.

If you like what you read, follow us on Facebook and Twitter to get the latest updates.