Canada recently asked the Twittersphere what type of Pokemon was most Canadian, which provoked some pretty interesting responses, ranging from beaver-like Pokemon to this strange Santa Claus bird thing.

.@Pokemon has been around in Canada since 1998! Which Pokemon do you think is the most Canadian? #PokemonSunMoon pic.twitter.com/yfC0HHisF1

— Canada (@Canada) May 10, 2016

Partly inspired by that and with Pokemon Sun and Moon on the horizon, we asked ourselves: Which Pokemon best represents Singapore? Out from a possible 721, our resident Pokemon expert (yours truly) narrowed it down to seven.

Like all things, the findings are debatable. And some of you will probably question, ‘Is this news?’

But the truth is I don’t really care. Here are your results, Singapore.

1. What Singaporeans think they are: Mewtwo

Super capable citizens from a land of social and economic engineering

With two movies to its name, mighty Mewtwo needs no introduction. Created with DNA from the significantly more cuddly Mew for maximum power, this humanoid cat remains the most powerful Pokemon around, 20 years after the franchise was born. In a nutshell, Mewtwo is immensely fast, smart and powerful – though he does suffer from a significant identity crisis. (I hear that happens when you are cloned and brought up in a test tube.)

Like Singapore, he is proof that sometimes engineering can do it better than nature, and that we are truly in control of our culture and geography, if not destiny – think reclamation, Gardens By the Bay, Snow City and the Singapore Kindness Movement.

But as the result of this engineering, Singaporeans have a problem with identity. You know it’s a serious one when people constantly fall back on ‘food’ when they’re discussing what makes us Singaporean. Or when companies think they can slap an image of dragon playground on something to make it more local.

Why aren’t Singaporeans like Mewtwo? Read on.

2. What Malaysians think Singaporeans are: Snivy

Arrogant little S.O.Bs

Introduced to players in the Fifth Generation of Pokemon, Snivy is essentially 2010’s Bulbasaur – one of three Pokemon you can pick at the start of the game. Known for being prideful, it eventually evolves into the equally haughty Serperior.

But while its final form is significantly powerful, Snivy is, like most unevolved Pokemon – vulnerable and weak – which makes it the poster boy for the colloquial phrase dua-kang.

I mean, look at that smug look on its face: It’s the type of face that screams ‘I’m better than you in everything you do.’ Which is precisely the attitude that certain Singaporeans bring over the Causeway. “Wow, look so cheap.” / Hey, we’re back in the countryside.” / “Why so slow?”

The result? It’s all-too-easy for our Northern neighbours to generalise and draw parallels. Hence the reputation of Singaporeans as arrogant folks who have a false sense of superiority.

3. What your employer thinks you are: Slakoth

Lazy af, can’t keep up with the competition

This adorable sleepy creature is Slakoth, introduced in Generation 3. Clearly based on sloths (the animal, not the deadly sin) this slow-moving terrestrial creature sleeps over 20 hours a day, and as you probably guessed – is incredibly lazy.

Unfortunately, that’s what some employers think Singaporeans are because we want things like work-life balance and decent salaries. Of course, that puts us at a significant disadvantage when compared to cheaper labour.

Does your Chinese, Filipino or Malaysian colleague work harder than you? Maybe yes, maybe no. It’s impossible to tell.

What do we know is that they probably are paid less – because they don’t have to contribute to CPF, are not intending to stay in Singapore for the rest of their lives and can probably afford a beautiful house in their home country at relatively affordable prices.

4. What other countries think we are: Remoraid

Parasites relying on strategic location and greater powers to survive

This strange looking fish is Remoraid, made known to the world with the introduction of the second generation of Pokemon games. Unremarkable by most standards, this nondescript fish has one skill – knowing where to be, and who to befriend.

Indeed, the Pokedex entry for Remoraid in Pearl Version states that “It clings to Mantine (a big ass stingray Pokemon) to feed on scraps. This is an adaptation to avoid foes”.

It’s no secret that Singapore pursues mutually beneficial relationships with superpowers such as the United States and China. That’s the reason why there’s an American naval base at Sembawang. Or a Sino-Singapore Eco-city in Tianjin. And why ties with the two economic and military behemoths are among our most valued bilateral relationships.

Of course, we’re not complete parasites. Remoraid clean the Mantine they cling to, and Singapore offers to larger countries our strategically located port...and our leaders’ unique Singaporean perspective.

5. What some foreign media think Singapore is: Gyarados

Economic powerhouse with multiple personality disorders

Who doesn’t like Gyarados and its ugly duckling rags-to-riches story? Useless floppy Magikarp becomes mighty serpent overnight – it almost echoes the oft-repeated ‘fishing village to metropolis’ Singapore story.

But Gyarados' own success story has a dark side, and I quote the Pokedex:

When Magikarp evolves into Gyarados, its brain cells undergo a structural transformation. It is said that this transformation is to blame for this Pokémon's wildly violent nature.

To many countries, we developed a nigh-perfect environment to thrive in, at the cost of inheriting multiple personality disorders, aka stuff-that-the-rest-of-the-developed-world-doesn’t-do.

It’s easy to draw comparisons between fan-favourite Gyarados and Singapore if you read the Disneyland with the death penalty narrative so often repeated in foreign publications. The city-state often portrayed as a perfect place to live, with many caveats such as human right violations, freedom of speech and tough drug laws, all inserted snidely.

And perhaps it’s no coincidence that our first Prime Minister, Mr Lee, with his knuckle-dusters and hatchets, was at times as ruthless and mercurial as the blue serpent with his political enemies.

6. What the government wants Singaporeans to be: Greninja

Fast, adaptable and fragile – but well aware of it

For you old fogeys out there, newly introduced in Generation Six is Greninja, an anthropomorphic ninja-frog capable of changing its type based on its moves (so, if it uses Hydro Pump it becomes a water type, grass if it uses Grass Knot, etc). Along with its nimble speed, this makes Greninja a potent damage-dealer – it’s only flaw being as durable as a wet Paseo tissue paper.

Other than both being newcomers to the field, young Singapore and the ninja frog have plenty in common. Adaptability comes to mind. Greninja is what the government has always preached: Singaporeans need to be adaptable and versatile by picking up new skills, and the country depends on the calibration of its policies to suit global conditions to survive.

At the same time, the country’s leadership is more than aware of Singapore’s fragility – hence the massive military spending. Singapore is among the top spenders for defence in the world per capita.

7. What Singapore secretly is: Aerodactyl

Seemingly quick to move, but secretly prehistoric

A classic favourite from the original 151, Aerodactyl is a prehistoric monster that is capable of reaching blistering speeds and hitting hard, yet at the same time is painfully fragile. Sounds familiar? That’s because Singapore’s prone to rapid change (always the first to enter/exit technical recession), is a significant military power in Southeast Asia (more planes than some our neighbours combined!), yet is actually pretty vulnerable given our small size and population.

And did I say prehistoric? Because behind the veneer of masterplans, fancy speeches and white papers, lies a complacency/reluctance to adopt new technology, principles and behaviours – Tesla cars, cycling lanes and gender diversity in leadership, anyone?

All images courtesy of Nintendo, because you know, they own the Pokemon franchise.

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