So, you've wandered around Singapore looking for some nice place to go and you accidentally walked into one of those cafes that seem to have appeared out of nowhere overnight and looks nothing like Delifrance or Starbucks.

To prime your senses, here is a handy guide explaining the 10 unmistakable tell-tale signs that the cafe you've entered is, in fact, one of those hipster cafes in Singapore.

(For a list of hipster cafes, click here and here.)

1. The online reviews are either 1-star or 5-star

This is one of the hallmarks of a hipster cafe.

You go online to find out more and the place is judged to be either very good or very bad. Or because the cafe attracts schizo people.

But most likely, it is because the hipsters that hipster cafes attract tend to profess some sort of extreme love-hate relationship with the people and things around them.

And it's true. Hipsters have no sense of moderate. Because moderate is too mainstream and is reserved only for the majority.

Check out one such example of bi-polar conflicting reviews here.

2. Reviewers tend to compliment the decor in the cafe as if it is edible

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You look around and agree with the online hipster cafe reviews that the trinket on the wall is very lovely indeed.

And the carpet and the lone antique table does match the underside of the tablecloth. How quaint and exquisite.

With so much attention to detail, you've got your hopes sky-high.

However, when you open the menu, you realise there are only cakes, waffles and coffee to put into your mouth.

3. The other cafe patrons dress funny

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Due to self-selection, another hallmark of hipster cafes is their ability to attract a certain type of clientele: Namely, hipsters.

These are those who wear tapered pants that show off their ankles, which resembles the ill-fitting clothes found on homeless people.

Black-rimmed spectacles without lenses. God knows why.

All manner of shirts and blouses that are either too tight or too loose, too long or too short.

And you might even find a disproportionate number of people wearing suspenders.

4. They serve Eggs Benedict

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If rice is to hawker centre, then Eggs Benedict is to hipster cafes.

So much so, Singapore's history can be divided into two parts.

Before: When virtually no one had tasted Eggs Benedict.

After: When Eggs Benedict became so widely proliferated because hipster cafes.

Hint: Eggs are cheap. Food costs low.

5. They use terms like Third Wave Coffee Movement

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And you thought academia was the only place to use jargon no one understands. Like Third Wave Feminist Movement.

But it makes sense because when you think about it: Why only savour caffeine, when you can savour it with faux understanding?

6. They close at crazy timings, like 6 p.m. daily

Hipsters clearly want best of both worlds. Doing non-mainstream things but wanting to keep mainstream office hours.

So what am I supposed to do? Take leave just to go to the cafe?

Hello... I am a real person who holds a real job because I have real bills to pay.

7. Cafe-goers hold New Economy Jobs

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And this is when you understand why the cafe can shut its doors at 6 p.m. and call it a day.

Because if you randomly asked any hipster cafe-goer what they did for a living, chances are, they would tell you they are freelance designers or baristas, or some combination of both.

These vocations are New Economy Jobs that, unlike traditional employment, demand very little responsibility and allow for a lot of flexibility.

Which explains why they can afford to be seated in a cafe at 3 p.m. on a Tuesday feeling quaint.

8. The cafe sells merchandise no one actually buys

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Instead of focusing on putting food on the menu, gewgaws of all kinds line shelves on the wall or form some kind of merchandise corner.

Cafe-goers browse, look whimsically at the goods, inspect them on closer examination and put them back.

These items include notepads that are too pretty to write on. Hand-knitted pencil warmers. Envelop holders that double up as bird's nest to convey the idea it was put together by someone who owns an Etsy account.

9. The cafe looks way better on Instagram

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The cafe wouldn't have existed if it weren't for Instagrammable moments.

10. Everybody who told you they've been there, said they've been there only once

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Because visiting again is too mainstream.

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Top photo from here

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