On Saturday, July 1, Facebook page GLBT Voices Singapore (GVS) — formerly known as SG Gay Confessions — will be no more.

The page, known among Singapore's LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender) community as being a safe haven and space for closeted folks to share their stories or confessions anonymously, was established four years ago and run by marketing professional Nicholas Lim.

Lim moved to Sydney a year ago, he says, due to "personal losses" and for a "change in scenery", and decided to close it because he no longer has the resources or time to keep it up.

In a post announcing the page's impending closure, Lim noted that he had posted more than 40,000 confession posts from contributors, quite a number of whom he managed to meet in person.

He also said it was a struggle dealing with the growing community, even though he had tried taking on a few volunteers in the weeks leading up to his decision to shut it down.

You can read it here:

We spoke to Lim to better understand his motivations and intentions, as well as to find an opportunity to reflect on the role the page has grown to take on for closeted LGBTs in Singapore.

 

From sleazy posts to a safe place for those who are afraid

In the beginning, Lim expected the content submitted "to be along the lines of Gossip Girl": "who slept with who, and who stole who’s boyfriend."

The confessions featured on the page includes stories of coming out, getting together, breaking up, and most popularly, struggles with one's sexuality.

Lim says he has since seen the page grow into a "much-needed place to... vent, question and seek answers" because the anonymity conferred on his readers allows it to become "a safe place for anyone afraid of being stigmatised.”

For longtime followers of the page, GLBT Voices helped them realise they were not alone in their struggles and insecurity, becoming a constant companion to them in their journeys of self-discovery and coming out to loved ones and friends.

Naturally, though, some of these really stood out for Lim, and a few will stay with him for the rest of his life.

Memorable posts

One of these is a farewell letter sent by a reader.

“I responded to it too late, and I found out later that he took his own life."

This experience spurred Lim to look out for anyone who might exhibit similar signs, and get them the help they might need.

He also got himself on a mission to make GLBT Voices “a community (for the LGBTs) to turn to at their darkest hour”, providing support and answers, alongside other commenters, for many who turned to the page with doubts and questions.

There were also some parents who wrote to his page with questions about their children having same-sex attractions.

“Through those answers, they came to terms with their son or daughter being gay. What made it even more wonderful was the fact that I wasn’t providing those answers or support: the community did.”

 

Taking GLBT Voices offline

Lim felt it was important to take the discussion beyond just anonymous posts on Facebook, and so took his efforts offline as well.

Last year, he rallied his readers to hold a candlelight vigil for the victims of the Orlando nightclub shooting — an attack targeted at the LGBT community, which took 50 lives.

The vigil, organised in less than 36 hours, rallied over 900 participants, "not counting the many, many other foreign friends who could only watch from the fringes of the (Hong Lim) Park."

Nicholas described the experience as "humbling", especially when he met a lady who brought her seven-year-old son to the vigil.

"She said it was important to teach her son not to hate, but to love and respect others no matter who they are."

So why close something that's doing such important work?

When asked why he would choose to close the page the same day as Pink Dot, Lim explained his belief that it is "more important than ever" for the community to show up for Pink Dot because of the 'no-foreigner' rule.

"Not on Facebook, but in Hong Lim Park!" he added.

The recent changes to the Public Order Act, which disallow any foreigners to sponsor or participate in events that deals with sensitive and polarising domestic issues, will make this year’s Pink Dot a “litmus test” that will show how much Singaporeans cared about the LGBT issue, Lim says.

He is optimistic that the "litmus paper" would turn pink because "the astonishing response by local companies… shatters the perception that only MNCs (multi-national companies) cared about inclusivity and true diversity while local ones only pursued profits."

It is time for Singaporeans to do the same, he says.

"Shutting down the page is my way of telling the community, it’s time you stood on your own. Don’t leave it up to others to show up and fight for your rights."

Lim won't be in Singapore or at Pink Dot this year, though, even though he had the chance to speak at last year's event.

Why not get somebody to take over running the page, then, we asked.

In response, Lim said the enormity of the page as well as his high standards are what have made it tough for him to find, well, another "him".

"There are a lot of queries... then there is the part about content curation, which the community has a strong viewpoint on. There were attempts to start new content pillars that didn't take well, and I guess it discouraged (volunteers) from continuing.."

Support and lessons

In the wake of announcing the page's closure, Lim saw an outpouring of support for him as well as sadness from many of his followers, which he said makes doing the deed much harder.

And so while regretful to have to shut down GVS, he is proud of what his page has achieved in the past four years:

"I think it has brought us all closer together... The page showed us all that we are more alike than different; that we not only have the same fears and doubts but the same hopes and dreams, he added. "If you think you are alone in whatever you are going through, you’re not. You just need to reach out."

 

Top photo courtesy of Nicholas Lim