It’s common knowledge now that we can get almost anything and everything we need online. Information, food, relationships, self-esteem, validation and, most importantly, stuff.

Lacking knowledge? Google. Craving validation? Instagram. Looking for a sugar mummy? Craigslist.

Despite the entire black hole of stuff out there, you’d have to admit that you still do get surprised when you encounter an item you wouldn’t expect could be bought online and shipped.

Some items you won’t even think would exist. But hey, the internet does, and anything can be bought on the internet. Even a Singapore-registered vessel.

Here’s 10 things you never, ever knew you could get on Amazon.

1. Inflatable air dancer, aka Tube Man

Tube man

Price: 269 USD

You’ve probably seen him outside car dealers and petrol stations boogie-ing to his own beat. If his free-spirited ways ever made you want to bring him home, now you can. Your very own wobbly man.

Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 12.51.38 AM

2. Life-sized python gummy snake

Gummy snake

Price: 149.95 USD

If you’re an aspiring party animal, this python is your spirit animal. Because everyone’s gonna wanna have a piece of that beast (“over 450 servings’). You might get weird looks if you bring this snake out, but with its serpentine looks, it could be useful in chasing away unwanted company in Bukit Batok.

Good luck to your blood sugar level. Also, parts cute guy sold separately. Maybe.

Screen Shot 2017-02-28 at 4.52.55 PM

3. Pizza maker

pizza maker

Price: 33.90 USD

Sick of paying for overpriced pizza in Singapore? Don’t have an oven like Sumiko Tan? Collector of useless cooking appliances? Want to gain weight?

This is a godsend. Easy to use and clean up, you could even use these for roti prata, hipster sandwiches, omelettes and *gasp* giant cookies. Just imagine a 12 inch cookie. Can share with all your neighbours.

4. Ice cream lock

41HwBudF6pL

Price: 63.98 USD

You no longer need to finish a tub of ice cream in a single sitting for fear that it will disappear from the fridge without your knowledge. Unless the ice cream thief is blatant and desperate.

Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 1.37.40 AM

Great for use in the office. Bonus: it also works on Nutella jars. Because swear words just don’t work as well.

5. Mermaid suit

Screen Shot 2017-03-03 at 9.04.15 AM

Price: 49.99 USD

It’s no pet leopard or Smurfette, but this unisex, metallic, Lycra spandex full-body mermaid suit will fulfill all your fantasies of being Ariel.

Or maybe you’ve watched too much Legend of the Blue Sea and want to be a mermaid so you can hook-up with Lee Minho as well.

No matter your purpose, always remember: safety first. Which is why you should always read product reviews:

Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 1.50.24 AM

7 people found the review helpful. Must have saved their lives.

6. Super Moon wall light

Screen Shot 2017-02-28 at 3.22.53 PM

Price: 36.13 USD

The pesky monsoon clouds caused most of us to miss the supermoon last year, so this replacement will have to do for now – because the next sighting for a moon that size will be in 2034.

Bonus: It makes totally random moon landing sound effects, so you can imagine yourself as the first Singaporean to walk on the moon.


7. Inflatable furniture

715TELINSYL._SL1000_

Price: 74.95 USD

As BTO flats continue shrinking, it’s better for Singaporeans to start adapting to smaller spaces, instead of complaining. We recommend investing in built-in furniture and the next big thing* — inflatable couches.

You can even bring it out for picnics at East Coast park or to the next pretentious outdoor music festival. This couch could possibly be the only type of inflation you enjoy.

Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 10.20.17 AM

* we predict it will be the next big home furnishing trend. You heard it from us first.

8. Portable floating bluetooth speaker

Screen Shot 2017-02-28 at 4.29.45 PM

If you’re thinking of buying this right now, that’s probably because you’re a Star Wars fan and this levitating speaker looks like the Death Star. Or a decapitated R2D2.

Even if you’re not a fan, this wireless bluetooth speaker works wonders as a conversation starter.

9. How to avoid big ships

714PH4X5FRL

Price: 91.98 USD

Providing hours of entertainment and absolutely informative, How To Avoid Huge Ships is good to have on hand in case of titanic-sized emergencies. With Singapore having some of the world’s most congested waterways, maybe it’s not a bad idea to have this on the bookshelf after all.

Reviews have been positive. Check out this one:

Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 11.01.17 AM

10. Land cruiser

410PCRPMJ9L

Price: 19,999 USD

If you really wanted that crude oil tanker from Taobao but aren’t part of the 3% who are millionaires, this could be a good alternative for you.

The JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser reaches a top speed of 65 km/h and boasts a mighty six horsepower (the same as a large go-kart). While this means it’ll be illegal on pavements or park connectors, its robust design probably means you’ll fare better than a ebike, PMD or bicycle if you get in a scrape with a car.

Best part? This whole thing is cheaper than a COE premium (which is currently S$50,889 for a car up to 1600CC). Even if the shipping fee is a mere 654 USD. Worth it? You decide.

—-

From March 1 – 31 2017, snag yourself USD10 off when you spend a minimum of USD100 on Amazon with your UOB Card and use the promo code ‘UOBSG’. Plus, enjoy FREE SHIPPING when you hit USD125. Now you can buy any of the above items that catch your fancy.

Or you can buy the more regular stuff like books, gadgets or Blu-rays that you’ve missed out during Black Friday and Christmas.

*All prices are quoted in USD.

This sponsored post gets us more stuff we need from Amazon because modern life is just so stressful.

All images from Amazon.