S'pore army boy's story about getting diarrhoea on bus & shitting into ziplock bag wins Internet

Permission to laugh, granted.

Nyi Nyi Thet | November 14, 2016, 11:25 AM

Everyone who goes through army has a few incredible army stories to tell.

This following story by a NSF, posted on Reddit on November 14 though, takes the cake.

It went viral on Reddit, making the front page, as well as garnering over 5,000 upvotes in less than a day.

ifu-8

Reddit user, TheTeleIsStillOn, posted on subreddit TIFU, which is an acronym for Today I F**ked up.

And F**ked up he did.

After explaining the mechanics of NS to the global citizens of Reddit, he promptly got on to the unfortunate bus ride.

Here is his story.

Day of the incident: 5 weeks into my BMT phase and blah blah blah here I am on the day where I would finally shoot live rounds on my SAR21 And we are required to be transported out of Pulau Tekong(a godforsaken island northbound of Singapore) to mainland Singapore to execute our training.

Ferry Terminal: The entire company is currently lined up and ready to board the ferry towards the mainland. It is at this point where my sergeant told us to head to the washroom to take a dump or a piss as the ride would long. I thought nothing of it, little did I know :(

5 minutes on the bus: I'm onboard the bus towards the firing site and my tummy starts grumbling.

10 minutes on the bus: Satan started brewing a concoction of pure evil to summon his child within my bowels. I turned to my buddy on my left and started to beg him to distract me from the terrors within me.

15 minutes on the bus: I started groveling to my sergeant to let me take a dump somewhere. He says, "HOLD IT IN, WE'LL BE THERE IN 10 MINUTES"

20 minutes on the bus: I've been begging him for 5 minutes. Sergeant calls the supervising officer for his advice.

22 minutes on the ride of my life: My request has officially been rejected.

25 minutes on the highway to hell: I've started to contemplate my options: A. Release Satan's child into my helmet B. Relieve myself casually like a fuckin' 3yo C. Release the Kraken into a ziploc bag which kept the contents of another platoon mate's soldierly tools

30 minutes on the spiral to nirvana: I have voiced out my options to my sergeant and advised him that I'll be taking option C.

30 minutes and 30secs into this fuckup: I'm squatting on the stairs of the backdoor of the bus, carefully aiming my explosive rounds into a tiny ziploc bag with my ass out.

32 minutes into this shameful bus ride: Bus driver decides that I've released too much toxins in the atmosphere of the bus and opens the backdoor.

note: we are on the expressway now

33 minutes: A van drove by, packed with passengers and their shocked faces from watching a bare-assed soldier in his uniform take a dump in a ziploc bag.

35 minutes of pure shame: After 2 minutes of screaming at the bus driver for what's left of my dignity, the door closes. I ordered for something to wipe my ass with. 5 packs of tissue were thrown to me like how my pride and dignity were thrown away.

36 minutes of .__.: I've cleaned up and left my bag of shit at the back of the bus.

End of the day: I've been immortalized as a legend of the company. Nothing spilled from the ziploc bag. I clinched a 31/32 for my firing. Natural marksman :D

TL;DR: Didn't listen to my superiors advice, civilians witnessed a soldier having explosive diarrhea into a ziploc bag at the back of the bus on the expressway @70km/h.

This story shed (phonetical pun intended) some light on Singapore for Reddit users.

ifu-5

With others highlighting the surprisingly rebellious nature of Singaporeans.

ifu-4

All while revealing the most dangerous weapon Singapore has.

ifu-6

Biological warfare.