Living in today’s world empowers us in many ways -- that’s liberating, but sometimes we get in over our heads. We watch Masterchef and suddenly transform into professional cooks.

We also think we’ve watched enough enough of Zombieland and Walking Dead to know what to do when a zombie apocalypse happens. But do we really?

We’d hate to fill you in on this but zombie apocalypses are entirely possible -- brain parasites and neurotoxins are real, guys. Sad :(

So as Singaporeans, we should embrace our kiasu, kiasee nature and do what we do best -- make sure that we are well prepared to fight off those nasty zombies and survive!

But  there aren’t any survival lessons we can attend, so would we know what to do when a zombie apocalypse ever occurs? Luckily, we’re really paranoid people -- so we thought of five survival tips you NEED to learn before the zombies do attack. It’s not a matter of if, but when.

1. Escape from a car in seconds

How:

When you are stuck in a car, the quickest way to escape would be through the window. It’s simple and relatively safe as the glass doesn’t fly -- remove the headrest and shove one pointy end into the empty space just in front of the window. Pull the headrest down towards you and the glass should shatter:

Why you’d need to smash a car window:

It’s extremely handy for when your car stalls and you need to get out quick before hundreds of zombies start crowding around your car. You don’t want to be a sitting duck! Also, you never know when you’d be stuck in a car with your boy/girlfriend who just so happens to turn into the undead.

2. Stock up on food for months in just under a minute

How:

Run to the cereal section and grab those oats! Sweep entire shelf of contents! Go to next shelf! Repeat! Run out of supermarket! Trust us, this will save your life.

Why you need oats:

You won’t have the energy (or time) to lug home sacks of rice and various canned items that will last you for months -- we know it’s super tempting, but just pick something that’s light and requires the least preparation!

Oats, on the other hand, are the perfect apocalypse food -- it contains the necessary protein and fibre that your body needs to fight the crazies, it’s light (so you can grab as many boxes as you can), stores well and all you need is water to prepare. It may not make a 5-course meal, but hey, it’s perfect for a zombie apocalypse. Or a war.

Wait. A zombie apocalypse is war.

3. Learn to hotwire a car

How:

Always attempt to start the car by inserting a flat-head screwdriver into the ignition first. If this works, it will save you a whole lot of trouble.

If using a screwdriver as a key doesn’t work, time to get your hands dirty.

1. Remove the steering wheel panel.

2. Identify the wires that lead to the battery (usually red, but check the car manual), cut them, remove insulation from the ends with a wire clipper and twist them together. This ensures electricity supply to the ignition.

3. Then, identify the wires that lead to the starter motor (usually brown), cut them and remove the insulation from the tips. Touching the exposed ends together will fire up the engine.

Why you need to learn to hotwire a car:

We’re not asking you to steal a car (Only when it’s a zombie apocalypse!). Once you’ve gotten into the vehicle, you’ll need to Lewis Hamilton your way out as quickly as possible.

But even if you’ve lost your keys in all the chaos, don’t panic! In such an unfortunate scenario, hot wiring your car is the next best option.

*Once again, this course of action is only advisable during a zombie apocalypse.

4. Quickest way to start a fire

How:

Forget the primitive, rub-two-sticks-together-to-make-a-fire method. You can start a fire with more ease using just a single AA battery and a staple bullet -- such simple things lying around the house can save you from zombies too.

Using a knife, pry a small gap on the negative end of the battery like so.

Bend the staple bullet into a U-shape and insert one end into the battery. Be careful not to let the other end of the staple come in contact with the battery.

Using a piece of tinder (cotton gauze or the cotton insides of a pad/ tampons work too), carefully touch the other end of the staple bullet to the tip of the battery. Within a minute, the tinder should start to burn.

Place it in a crumpled ball of paper and blow on it until it explodes into flames. Ta-da.

Why you need fire:

Because fire is life, of course. With it, you can cook, keep warm, have light, set zombies on fire… the list just goes on and on. In fact, it won’t only save you when a zombie apocalypse occurs; it’s a lifehack that can possibly save you from any situation.

Fire FTW.

5. Pick a basic lock in 30 seconds

How:

You don’t need a complicated set of tools to do the job. With two paper clips or even bobby pins, you’ll be opening doors or cabinets in a breeze.

Straighten one of the paper clips and twist the other one so that it bends at a 90 degree angle.

Insert the hooked paperclip into the lock and press downwards, turning the paperclip in the direction of the lock. Then, insert the straightened paperclip all the way into the gap made by pressing the hooked paperclip down.

Open the door/ cabinet by lifting the straightened paperclip and slowly pulling it out. You should hear clicking sounds as it unlocks.

And what if we tell you unlocking a padlock is even easier. Don’t believe us?

All you need is a knife. Insert the knife into the lock, using the tip to push downwards as you slide it in. Then, turn the knife as you would a key. 

Why you need to know how to pick a lock:

Desperate times call for desperate measures -- when you’re on the run, hiding indoors is a good way to lose the zombies -- but only if you can access these places. And that’s when picking a lock will come in useful. Remember, in an apocalypse, you’ve no one to depend on but yourself.

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To survive a zombie apocalypse, you need to be creative, use objects around you to make things work and protect yourself.

Fortunately, having a long lasting, steady supply of food will keep at least one thing off your mind -- and that helps not only during a zombie apocalypse, but also in peacetime.

So let the folks at Kellogg’s show you how oats are both the ultimate zombie apocalypse survival food and a real saviour in daily life when you’re strapped for time. 

Top image via 

This sponsored post ensures that Mothership's writers will be able to stock up on supplies in the event of a zombie apocalypse. 

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