Khoo Hoon Eng, is a mother of two gay sons.

In a video by Dear Straight People, which was put up on YouTube on May 6, 2016, in the run-up to Mother's Day, Khoo recounted what it was like and how she felt when both of her children came out to her as gay on separate occasions.

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Khoo, who is a Yale-NUS College Associate Professor and co-founder of SAFE Singapore, a site that provides information and resources to help friends and relatives of LGBTQ persons, also spoke about her initial surprise and subsequent fears she had for her two sons.

Chief among her concerns was society's acceptance of her sons' sexual orientation. Both of them are now in their 30s.

The video is to showcase not only a mother's love for her two sons but on how parents ought to deal with family who are gay or transgender.

This was what Khoo said happened when her elder son came out to her, albeit in slightly comical terms:

My two sons are Ming and En. Ming is the older one and En is the younger one.

My older son came out to me when he was about 15. And he just walked into my bedroom one evening and said, "Mama, I'm gay."

I was obviously a little sort of startled and not quite sure how to react.

And the first thought that came into my head was: "Oh no I see. Is this some strange project he is working on in school, to look at parent's reactions."

He went back to his bedroom and he had brought a friend. Now on hindsight, I think it must be because the friend was there to give him support, in case I completely freaked out. But I did not.

So I just went and spoke to him and at that stage since I hadn't really thought about it or found out a lot of information, I basically said, "Oh you're so young. How do you know? Why don't you just continue to be friends with lots of people?"

Her younger son's coming out experience also showcased how poorly dads deal with such things sometimes:

My second son came out because their father had seen him reading some literature about gay people and his father had said to me, "You should go speak to your younger son because I think his older brother is trying to influence him. Why is he reading all this gay literature?"

So I went to speak to him and said, "Is there something you want to tell me?"

And he said, "Ya, mama. I am also gay. And I didn't dare to say anything earlier because I knew that if you knew you'd be disappointed because kor kor is gay and I'm also gay "

Her biggest fear, though, was that her sons would grow up and face discrimination:

I was worried for them that their lives will be difficult, that they might face lots of challenges beyond the normal ones of just getting education, finding a job, you know, beyond those that there might be discrimination against them. And just generally if people can be nasty.

Khoo also had advice for other parents who find themselves in her shoes.

She said there is no need for parents to blame themselves or get defensive.

Instead, parents should learn more and talk to their children, because ultimately, parents' happiness are tied up with their children's happiness.

You can watch the full video here. 

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