The stage was set for a fiery encounter between the PAP and SDP. Alas, it was not to be. Nomination Day at Keming Primary School turned out to be a rather placid affair, with both camps exercising a surprising amount of restraint.

We were teased about the prospects of melodrama on five occasions. Unfortunately, not one of them culminated into anything remotely serious or delicious.

1. A three-cornered fight

Once again, Shirwin Eu did not have the chance to prove he was a sure win. Due to small technicalities such as not having any assentors, paperwork, deposit money or general self awareness. Well, he did have the confidence though.

The 32-year-old Uber driver first made news last year for the same reason — when he failed to qualify as a candidate for Bukit Panjang SMC as he did not have anyone to assent his nomination — despite the last-ditch plea he made through the media.

Maybe for the next four years, Eu should work on getting his passengers to assent him instead of giving him a 5-star review.

Eu wasn't the only candidate that could've been.

At around 11 am, former SDP member Kwan Yue Keng arrived without fanfare at the Nomination Centre and told the press that he might run if Dr Chee gets disqualified.

Kwan was once a prominent member of the SDP, sitting in its CEC. He was also one of the three, along with Jimmy Tan and Ashleigh Seow, chosen to inform Chiam See Tong of the CEC's decision to expel him in 1993.

Plot twist that didn't happen: No surprise three-cornered fight.

2. One woman’s angry tirade against CPF: The sequel

Another major drama letdown was Han Hui Hui, the defeated independent candidate for Radin Mas SMC and former CPF “champion”.

Known for being unabashedly and unapologetically vocal, it was no surprise that reporters swarmed on her for soundbites when she arrived (us included), eager to hear what she had to say about the by-election, hoping to get something as “interesting” as her theories about CPF.

But when asked why she came, all she had to say was: “I’m just here to listen to the speeches”.

Later, after the media moved away, Han went into the canteen to hang out with some of the SDP supporters. She also stayed behind after the candidates gave their speeches to listen to Chee Soon Juan at the SDP press conference. We guess she counts herself as one of his fans.

Also, notice how she is still wearing that same pink t-shirt? Is that her trademark for political rallies or something? Or is she taking a cue from our PM?

Plot twist that didn't happen: Han did not add any drama to proceedings.

3. This mega fan

One person that caught our attention was this rather… enthusiastic woman in pink (notice a pattern here?) and her overwhelming support for Chee Soon Juan.

This is evident from the video above where she devours each and every one of Paul Tambyah’s words about Chee with glee and at times, does not hesitate to interject “improvements” to Tambyah’s descriptions.

In fact, her crowning moment of "Hero Worship" comes at 1:38, where she briefly shuts down Tambyah to give her own mini-spiel on “picking bones from eggs”. Move over Tambyah, she’s the new reputation champion now.

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And of course, with the zeal she displayed, she was not going to be denied the chance to meet her hero face-to-face. Immediately after the SDP press conference was over, she headed straight to Chee with all the excitement of a Directioner approaching Harry Styles.

However, the moment deflated upon her discovery that most of Chee’s other supporters had gotten his book — something that she, a hardcore fan didn’t have! What could have been a ravishing, gushing outpouring of love ended up as a repeated questioning of where to buy his book (‘Rallies,’ he replied) before she ended with a little tune to showcase her heartfelt support.

Can’t fault her for trying anyway.

Plot twist that didn't happen: There were no major plot twists, that's why this mega fan caught our attention.

4. ELD, kayu lah! (Ok, not really)

As one would have expected, Chee produced a confident deliverance on his promises and vision for the residents of Bukit Batok. Chee’s speech, during which he pledged to make the constituency the ‘envy of Singaporeans’, was interrupted by an ‘unceremonious’ termination of his microphone feed (courtesy of a prevailing rule that speeches must not exceed one minute in length).

Contrary to what we expected, this did not eventuate in cacophonic accusations of conspiracy or full-blooded protests but just a couple of whistles and isolated ‘boos’ from an otherwise mannerly SDP contingent. (Boo!)

Plot twist that didn't happen: ELD cut off Chee due to regulations, not conspiracy.

5. Nominatin’ in the rain

Let’s muse about the weather. Yes, many will think us frivolous for digressing from the events and antics of such an important political event; in our defence, the actual politicking (or lack thereof) of the latest edition of Nomination Day was exceedingly unremarkable and rare that many will find the fact that it drizzled yesterday just as newsworthy.

What’s more, nothing was an enlivening as the peculiar weather: the gradual accumulation of ominous clouds and occasional pitter-patter seemingly hinted at an impending thunderstorm — literal and metaphorical — but only for the thunderclouds to dwindle out, abruptly. Much to all of us drama grubbers’ disappointment, it was all merely a false omen...

Plot twist that didn't happen: Any politician could've sung 'Wa Men Ti' but didn't.

Top photo by Amir Yusof

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