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A 65-year-old woman living with her 91-year-old mother was ordered by a Singapore family court to move out "for her protection and safety".

The victim, Mdm Lily (not her real name), has, however, appealed against the decision.

Emotional and physical abuse

The physical abuse had been happening from 2016 to 2021.

According to District Judge Amy Tung's written judgement, it was reported that the mother, Mdm Kan, would slap her daughter, pull her hair, and hit the victim with a walking stick on a weekly basis.

These actions have caused her injuries.

Mdm Kan is a retiree who used to work as a polytechnic lecturer and relief teacher.

In January 2016, Mdm Lily applied for a personal protection order (PPO) against her mother.

This resulted from an incident where Mdm Kan had used a feather duster to hit her daughter's leg and hand until the item broke.

In the same incident, she also bit Mdm Lily on her right arm, pulled her hair, stamped on her feet, and took bedroom slippers to hit her on the head, the court heard.

The abuse also extended to Mdm Lily's emotional and psychological state.

For instance, the retired lecturer kept the keys to their home, confining her daughter and restricting her social activities.

She would also accompany Mdm Lily when the latter went out to buy groceries or go to the library.

Mdm Kan claimed that the world is a "scary place" and Mdm Lily would get "raped or killed" if she were to go out alone, said Tung.

Tung added that despite the PPO, the physical violence continued, with at least six breaches of the PPO in 2017 alone.

The abuse did not just happen in their five-room HDB flat.

In August 2021, when Mdm Lily was waiting to be admitted to Tan Tock Seng Hospital's emergency department for her insomnia, Mdm Kan was seen hitting and scolding her daughter.

She was also caught attempting to pull out her intravenous plug.

She waved her walking stick in a threatening manner at hospital staff when they tried to intervene, the court heard.

On a separate occasion at the hospital in November 2021, Mdm Kan pushed Mdm Lily's head twice and tried to snatch her phone away.

When a security guard tried to escort Mdm Kan out of the hospital premises, she tried to bite him.

Victim has no friends or social support

In May 2002, Mdm Lily was diagnosed with schizophrenia and prescribed medication.

She was stable on outpatient follow-up and did not require admissions until January 2019, when she was admitted to the hospital for injuries sustained by her mother, who punched her in the eye and nose till she bled.

The court also heard that Mdm Lily’s demeanour was noted to be “child-like on observation".

She also admitted that she felt lonely and out of touch with society as she did not have any companion other than her mother.

Tung noted that Mdm Lily has no friends or social support outside her home, living a "fairly isolated" existence with her mother.

While she has five other siblings, they have kept their distance from Mdm Kan, with two of them having obtained PPOs against their mother after facing harassment or abuse.

Mdm Kan had previously turned up at the siblings’ homes and workplaces to complain about and hit them, the court heard.

Appealed against decision

The judge acknowledged the "tension" in this case, especially as Mdm Lily is an adult who possesses the mental capacity to make decisions.

Mdm Lily, who has been committed to a place of safety called AB Place (not the real name), has appealed against the court order.

She told Tung that she was bored at AB Place and that her mental health would suffer if she had to continue to stay there.

Mdm Lily added that there is "nothing very much" that can be done to change her mother, and that she is the only one who can change her.

She also said she would like to go home to help her mother buy groceries and do household chores.

However, Tung said the victim appeared "ultimately concerned about having to tell her mother that she was not going home".

She also said that Mdm Lily's mental health had improved after being isolated from her mother, and that she was eating and sleeping well.

Tung added:

"[Mdm Lily] informed me plaintively that 'I just do not know how---how to tell her that I’m not going home because I felt that she’s ready to receive me at home'."

She noted that Mdm Kan had been calling her daughter three to five times a day to scold her for not returning home.

The order mandates that Mdm Lily remains in AB Place for a period of 24 months, with a review to be conducted by the court in 12 months.

Abuse likely to continue if request granted

After assessing reports from medical and social professionals, Tung found the victim to be a vulnerable adult who is "incapable of protecting herself from abuse".

In addition to demonstrating subtle symptoms of cognitive decline, possibly in line with her schizophrenia, Mdm Lily was found to "have an influence" by her mother.

She would deny incidents of violence and make excuses for her mother's abuse, the court heard.

She also insisted on multiple occasions that her mother "has changed and is much nicer" to her.

"I was particularly perturbed that Mdm Lily did not seem to see that it was wrong of Mdm Kan to hit her for a reason that did not even involve any wrongdoing on her part," Tung told the court.

Furthermore, Mdm Kan suffers from organic mood disorder and brain damage which contributes to her violence and aggression.

According to a doctor who examined her, the part of her brain responsible for emotional control "has significant atrophy and scarring".

He concluded that she showed no signs of remorse and said it is "almost certain" that she would attack her daughter again if triggered by any unpleasant memory of the past.

Previously, she told the Adult Protective Service (APS) that the authorities would not be able to punish her given her old age.

Mdm Kan also said that disciplining children was akin to the beating of cows to get them to do things, Tung said.

For these reasons, "it is in her best interests for her to remain separated from her mother," she added.

The court will review the case in 12 months' time.

Top photo by Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas/Pexels.