September 28, 2022, 11:08 AM
Follow us on Telegram for the latest updates: https://t.me/mothershipsg
A 93-year-old Chinese woman in Singapore is hoping to fulfil one wish — that she will reunite with the daughter she gave up to a Malay family 66 years ago.
The woman, who goes by Mrs Tan, had given up her daughter after much pressure from her mother and mother-in-law as they believed her newborn baby, who was born with two natal teeth, would supposedly bring bad luck.
Tan has since regretted caving in to her elders' wishes, and though she is now surrounded by her large family of nine other children, 24 grandchildren and 19 great grandchildren, she hopes to be able to see her lost daughter again.
Daughter born with natal teeth, was a "bad omen"
Tan, through her 38-year-old granddaughter Jasmine, described to Mothership the circumstances that led her to that fateful decision to give up her child.
Tan was just 17 years old when she got married.
Tan and her husband lived at 99 Jalan Chekor, where they also worked as farmers on their plot of land, growing vegetables and raising pigs.
The Jalan Chekor kampung and its roads have since been expunged. Kaki Bukit now sits where the kampung used to be.
The old Jalan Chekor road (circled in red) where Tan lived has since been expunged. Image via singapurastories/Jasmine.
In 1956, Tan gave birth to her seventh child, but under quite difficult circumstances.
Tan was alone at the hospital while her husband struggled with a very bad illness at home.
However, upon the baby's birth, she noticed that her daughter was born with two natal teeth on her bottom jaw, which was considered bad luck according to Chinese folklore.
When Tan saw the teeth on her newborn, she immediately plucked them out and swallowed them, so no one would think her daughter was ill-omened.
According to some Chinese traditions, babies born with teeth are curses to the family.
Told not to contact or see her child ever again
Tan was discharged from the hospital the next day, but grew worried about the big secret she was hiding.
She finally confessed to her mother and mother-in-law about the teeth and what she had done to hide them.
They insisted that her baby had to be given away.
Tan recounted that her mother-in-law in particular was very authoritative and warned Tan not to contact or see her child again.
Tan and her husband had no say in this decision.
Tan (in the background) with her husband.
Her mother-in-law engaged a middleman to assist with the adoption, so Tan never got the chance to even meet the adoptive parents.
Tan is scarce on details about where her daughter is now, but knows that her daughter was given up to a childless Malay family who lived nearby.
She also remembered that the adoptive father worked at the airport, and cycled to work everyday. The mother was a homemaker.
Years later, Tan learnt that the adoptive family had adopted another girl. Through the middleman, the couple also made Tan promise never to reunite with her daughter.
Woman regrets telling the truth
The only time Tan saw her daughter again was during a chance encounter when the girl was 10 years old.
A girl walked past Tan's home at Jalan Chekor, and the middleman who lived nearby pointed out to Tan that she was her daughter.
Tan only stole a glance at her, under instructions from her mother-in-law not to interact with the girl.
But Tan noticed that her daughter was dressed in a white blouse and blue skirt, the school uniform of an English school.
The middleman had also given Tan a photograph of her daughter, but a flood that washed away most of Tan's belongings meant that she no longer had the photo to hold onto.
To this day, Tan regrets ever telling the truth to her mother-in-law.
She said she could have kept the child if she was quiet about it being born with teeth.
Tan (right) and her mother-in-law (left) in a picture taken in 1979.
Grandchildren hope to fulfil woman's wish
Unfortunately, Tan does not have a copy of her daughter's birth certificate, which might have lent her more details on how to locate her daughter all these years later.
There were also no adoption papers, as the adoption process was carried out informally and without proper documentation.
Still, at her advanced age, Tan hopes to be able to reunite with her now 66-year-old daughter again, and expressed this desire to her grandchildren.
Jasmine told Mothership that this was her grandmother's only wish in her old age.
"All children are precious to their mothers," said Tan when asked about this wish of hers.
All photos courtesy of Jasmine
If you like what you read, follow us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Telegram to get the latest updates.