“I’m so stressed”.

That’s something we’ve all heard a lot, whether it comes from work, relationships, or just day-to-day decision making.

At some point, you’ve likely faced mentally exhausting days with overwhelming anxiety due to some stressor in life. But how much is “too much”, and what can be done about this?

According to Health Promotion Board, one in two Singaporeans still view mental health as the same as mental illness.

When in fact, mental health is a continuum that can range from “healthy” to “at-risk” and “unwell”.

“Healthy” is where one experiences stressors, but is well and coping. “At risk’ is when one is able to perform daily functions but show higher levels of distress, and begin finding it harder to cope.

When one is ‘unwell’, they may be clinically diagnosed with a mental health condition, and exhibit significant changes in their thoughts, behaviour, actions, and ability to perform daily functions.

While many of us tend to fluctuate between the healthy and at-risk zones at some point in our lives, most of us might still find it difficult to seek support, despite facing various daily stressors and being mentally overwhelmed.

Mothership spoke to Professor Fatimah Lateef to find out why one might struggle to seek support and coping strategies that can be used to improve mental well-being.

Fatimah is the founder and board member of the Global Alliance for Mental Health Advocates. She is also a board member of Silver Ribbon and a Professor in Emergency Medicine at NUS Yong Loo Lin, Lee Kong Chian and Duke NUS Medical Schools.

Fatimah has always been very passionate about mental well-being and mental health. She has initiated numerous programmes and worked with many mental health organisations, and is also a champion of psychological safety and well-being for professionals.

The warning signs

Each person has their own threshold level for stress, and different people may respond differently to the same stressors.

One of the early ways to tell if there’s something up with your stress levels is physical ailments.

Fatimah shared: “This includes feeling aches and pains in the body, such as muscle aches and frequent headaches, or tiredness, which is out of proportion to your exertion level.”

For others, stress can manifest itself in the form of mood swings, having more negative thoughts, and an inability to distract oneself from them.

Changes in one's behaviour might also be observed, such as having difficulties concentrating or becoming more withdrawn.

Fatimah added: “The important thing is for all of us to understand ourselves and what we are able to manage. There may be times where we may not have that level of self-awareness, and this is where those around us can help to provide their support”.

Those around us can be people you trust – such as a close friend, a family member or even a healthcare professional whom you feel comfortable reaching out to. That person is someone you can turn to when you need support.

Concerns about being judged

Once you become aware that you need to reach out for support, how should you proceed?

According to Fatimah, it’s normal at this point to still feel hesitant to speak up and seek support.

The shame associated with having poor mental health can be perceived as a reflection of the stigma it faces in society.

As a result, many of us might still worry that asking for support may be seen as a sign of weakness or indicate lesser capability.

She explained: “However, there is nothing wrong with seeking support, it’s just like consulting a doctor when we feel physically unwell”.

In addition, while we may be worried about burdening others with our troubles, more often than not, we’ll find that people are willing to help.

Should we feel worried about negative comments from others or frustrated about not receiving the support we had hoped for, we can try to be more direct about our needs.

For instance, someone might be quick to offer a solution when what we want at that point in time is a listening ear.

We can then let the person know of the support we seek: an empathetic ear, a good laugh or just their company.

How and where to reach out for support

Reaching out can help us to see things differently and offer a source of relief as we realise that we are not alone.

For those at risk of a mental health condition, reaching out earlier would also help in an earlier diagnosis and better control through treatment and medication, if necessary, said Fatimah.

Aside from visiting a mental health professional, people who feel distressed can build up their support system by reaching out to close friends, family members, or colleagues.

“Firstly, you must want to reach out,” she emphasised earnestly.

After that, the important thing is to find someone you feel comfortable with to talk to and share your concerns.

There are many helplines and online self-help resources are available, such as MindSG.

Hotlines that individuals can reach out to seek support include but are not limited to:

• Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) - Dial 1-767 for its 24-hour hotline
• National Care Hotline - Dial 1800-202-6868 from 8am-8pm, for Covid-19 related mental health distress
• Institute of Mental Health – Dial 6389-2222 for its 24-hour hotline

What about supporting those around us?

By taking care of ourselves, we can also be the pillar of support for those around us who might be going through a difficult time.

Reaching out to others need not be a daunting task, as Fatimah shares:

“First of all, it’s about knowing the stress symptoms that indicate someone might need a break and some support [do they seem more moody or tired than usual?].

The aim is to provide a listening ear and be non-judgmental in your conversation with them.

Try to think of it as having a chat: asking non-judgmental questions, using an appropriate tone of voice, and keeping the sharing confidential.

Most importantly, we can keep an open mind and try not to stigmatise [against them].”

To practise empathy with a friend in need, one can begin with, “I understand this must be tough on you…”, instead of saying, “If I were you, I would do this…”.

It might also be helpful to stay in touch and check in with your friend after the initial conversation to further understand the help they need.

Ensuring long-term well-being

Ultimately, maintaining day-to-day mental well-being starts with a balanced approach to life, Fatimah shared.

Taking care of our day-to-day needs can span from trying to eat well and exercise regularly, to getting sufficient sleep and relaxation periods between work.

In addition, it is also important to maintain a circle of close friends to talk to and socialise with, as studies show that staying connected boosts mental well-being. One can also practice mindfulness or set realistic, achievable goals.

More importantly, one should seek support early, before a problem becomes overwhelming. Rather, we can begin reaching out for support once we notice the aforementioned changes in our behaviour.

Feelings like stress, worry, and sadness are common to all of us, and seeking support can remind us that we are not alone in facing them.

For more tips on seeking support and managing our well-being, check out Health Promotion Board’s OKAY.gov.sg website here.

Top images Unsplash

This piece was sponsored by the Health Promotion Board.