February 24, 2021, 11:22 AM
Singaporean actress Julie Tan has taken to TikTok to reveal that she has been struggling with self-harm.
Although Tan used the format of a make-up video with text overlay to tell her story, the actress' emotional struggles were visible on her face in the Feb. 20 video.
One can interpret it as symbolic of the brave front she has to put up in public.
She started by saying that most of her TikTok content has been "entertaining" and "fun", but hiding beneath that layer of positivity are "tons of negative and ugly thoughts".
Struggle with self-harm
The 28-year-old shared that she used to cut herself when she was younger, but now, due to work, she "can't afford to have scars". Instead, she resorted to biting her arms and slapping herself.
It has been 10 months since she last hurt herself, Tan said, but she still "(struggles) so hard to love (herself)".
julietan_cxq/TikTok
This battle with self-harm is an ongoing one.
While she consistently reminds herself to "be strong", she also confessed that she sometimes gets "tired of being strong".
Urged people to be kind to one another
Towards the end of the TikTok, Tan looked visibly affected and buried her face in her hands.
The decision to share something so personal, which she also admitted was "not the easiest thing to share", was because she wanted to let people know that they are not alone. Especially for those who are struggling themselves.
"Let’s be kind to one another, cause we will never know what’s their story behind those smiles," Tan added.
julietan_cxq/TikTok
Watch the full TikTok here.
The full text of what was said in her TikTok:
All these while the content I’ve [been] doing [on] TikTok were all entertaining, positive and fun.
The truth is behind my positivity hides tons of negative and ugly thoughts. Whenever I am feeling depressed there are voices in my head telling me I deserved to be punished
So I will punish myself, I would bite my arms and slap myself. When I was younger I used to cut myself but due to work now I can’t afford to have scars.
I struggle so hard to love myself. It’s been 10 months since I’ve hurt myself but sometimes the emotions are so overwhelming.
During tough times the urge to hurt myself is so strong. I will always tell myself don’t give in to it, I need to be strong.
But sometimes I am just tired of being strong…
So today I’ve decided to share with all of you. Esp those struggling. I want you to know that you’re not alone. So let’s be kind to one another. Cause we will never know what’s their story behind those smiles.
SOS 24-hour Hotline: 1800-221-4444
Singapore Association for Mental Health: 1800-283-7019
Institute of Mental Health: 6389-2222 (24 hours)
Tinkle Friend: 1800-274-4788 (for primary school-aged children)
Care Corner Counselling Centre (Mandarin): 1800-353-5800
Top photo screengrabs from Julietan_cxq/TikTok
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