1. Stop mistaking satire for legit news. 

There are plenty of things to be outraged about these days – dishonest Sim Lim square salesmen, allegedly overpaid civil servants,  reckless drivers – but at the very least,  do make sure its real.

Imagine how uncool you'll look getting upset that a couple of NSFs said their training is 'illegal of manifestly unlawful.'

Yes, we're talking about newnation.sg, Singapore's version of The Onion.

50% real news? Hmm, doesn't that give it away?

2. Check the date of the article 

Before you embark on your next furious tirade on social media, the very least you could do is to make sure what you're getting pissed about isn't outdated news.

Every now and then a bunch of journalists and editors suffer from a lack of page views and decide to resurrect a popular but out-of-date article for those precious hits (I apologise on their behalf).

Because what's worse than getting outraged about an incident that happened 6 years ago? Getting outraged at the exact same incident six years later.

Note: Note to The Real Singapore, at least use #throwback la. #TBT

3. Check the URL and the source 

Just as how people believed a giant bottle collapsed in Raffles Place because The Stratis Times reported it..

4. Stop posting things online that you will regret. 

Like Anton Casey:

Or at least change your password regularly on Facebook. So you won't get "hacked" and put your employer on a spot.

And while you're at it, learn how to spell or at least do a spell check. Losers. Disasters.

Note to Ello Ed Mundsel Bello: Being able to spell will go a long way in improving your employability.

Just saying.

5. Watch what you say on Whatsapp chat groups

A thousand years of architecture has changed nothing. As the recent Gushcloud saga has shown us, chat rooms still have ears (and spies). In the age of screencaps and chat logs, trust nobody. Even your Whatsapp family chat that discusses whose turn is it to do the dishes.

Don't trust anyone.

6. Stop listening to articles telling you who to date

15 reasons that you've found your soulmate.

9 things that make your lady a keeper.

6 things that your man does that a boy won't.

Dismiss all of them, because people should be able to see whoever they want to see.

7. Don't do stupid things offline. 

This is so painfully obvious, but sometimes, the best thing to do to avoid looking like an idiot online, is to stop doing stupid things. Period. Like this fervent Straits Times reader enjoying his newspapers while driving his car. I repeat: Driving. His. Car. 

Damn, SJC2762L.

Dat skill.

8. Stop believing SMRT Ltd (Feedback) is the actual SMRT feedback. 

The actual aunties and uncles who will respond to your feedback can be contacted here, or their Facebook page here.

Where the feedback looks like this (note the blue Verified tick):

But if you insist on contacting Singapore's indisputably greatest trolls SMRT (Feedback) to whine about public transport, we won't stop you.

Because it's pretty entertaining for the rest of us.

Hurhur.

How about venting your frustrations on SBS Transit Facebook page?

You have to make do with SBS Transit troll page for now, as SBS Transit doesn't even have an official Facebook page.

Top photo from here.

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