6 kinds of crappy friends Singaporeans have who will make you vomit blood

With friends like these, your enemies can go on holiday.

Jonathan Lim| April 20, 04:53 PM

Friends are supposed to make your life better. But there is a special kind of friend who seems to walk the thin line between being a friend and a total douche with your feelings.

So here are 6 kinds of friends you wish you can do without:

1. The lying latecomer

latecomer

These type of friends wear down your faith in people not because they don't respect your time and habitually turn up one to two hours late for appointments.

They crush your trust in them because whenever you arrive on time and call them for their whereabouts, they will tell you things like "I just left my house, I'm on my way! Fifteen more minutes!" They give you so much hope with their lies.

It takes you a few more missed appointments to finally figure that "just left my house" means "I'm messaging you while taking my morning dump" and "fifteen more minutes" is actually closer to "there's a chance my bed will hold me hostage."

If it's between you or the bed, some friends choose the bed. If it's between you or the bed, some friends will choose the bed.

 

2. The indecisive friend who disagrees with everything

indecision

We all have that one friend whose favourite answer to everything is 'Anything lor'. If you ask them what they would like for lunch, their reply will always be 'Anything lor'.

But the moment you suggest something they will always say 'Eeeyur, I don't like that, can you pick something better?' or some other variation of that.

picky

These people are a leech on your sanity because they do not want to take the responsibility of making a bad decision. Even if the decision is something as simple as what to eat for lunch. Never trust them with anything important.

 

3. The serial kite-flyer / Fake enthusiast 

pangseh

Sometimes you wonder why even bother including this person in your group chats. The serial kite-flyer has the mutant ability to fall sick on the meeting day. They are able to mentally will their bosses into giving them overtime when you're supposed to meet for dinner. You routinely question why you even bother inviting them.

bother

Fake enthusiasts are one step up from kite-flyers. They actively participate in any outing planning and even gush about how awesome the outing ideas are. They even throw out fun ideas like going to JB to go-kart or paintball. But ultimately, they will brush off the outing with some diarrhoea lie.

 

4. The one who won't let you eat till they have insta-ed the dishes perfectly

instagram

For these serial-instagrammers, meals did not happen unless they are documented on social media. Never mind that the rest of the dinner party is starving and that the once piping-hot ramen has now cooled into a soggy mess. Eating is all about the 'Likes', 'Favorites' and 'Comments'.

instagram lunch

 

5. The one who wants a gathering but refuses to organise one

praty

Actually, with friends who are type 1 - 4, we aren't surprised why no one wants to organise any gatherings. If you have a friend who constantly organises gatherings and coordinates people's schedules, hold on to them and never let them go.

If you have a friend who plans everything, don't let that gem go. If you have a friend who plans everything, don't let that gem go.

6. The one who keeps insisting on expensive places

bankroll

It is OK to indulge once in a while. But when a friend insists on only meeting at the poshest of places and disses you for suggesting the hawker centre, something's got to give. There's only so many all-day breakfast hipster cafes you can visit in a month.

When you are with true friends, it is the company that matters; not how awesomely Instagram-able a cafe is.

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