MDA tries its hands at writing an erotic write-up that explains why Fifty Shades of Grey is spared the scissors

Who knew a government agency could be so sexy?

Tan Xing Qi| February 10, 05:55 PM

In a move that will surely raise plenty of eyebrows (amongst other things), the Media Development Authority (MDA) wrote on their website explaining why Fifty Shades of Grey, a movie featuring bondage, dominance and submission and sado-masochism (BDSM), is left uncut and passed fit for our pure, delicate eyes.

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Check out MDA's erotic prose. It will make Fifty Shades' author E.L James blush:

For example, the male protagonist is shown tying the female protagonist’s hands to restrain her movement, prior to caressing her body with tools like feathers or a flogger to sexually arouse her. Some spanking and whipping are also shown, but these are either implied or kept brief. In one of the stronger scenes, the male protagonist undresses the woman and whips her with a belt as a form of punishment. The whipping is not enacted on screen with the impact conveyed through the woman’s pained expression. In another fairly prolonged scene, the male protagonist handcuffs the woman to a metal structure and hits her with a leather crop before tying her hands to a bed post and thrusting against her from behind. Female upper body nudity and sexual thrusting can also be seen in the sexual scenes.

Making it uncut means that fans can enjoy some 20 minutes, according to Agence France-Presse, of steamy sex between the titular character, Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) and Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson). The film is rated R21.

Around the same time last year, MDA cut short two critically-acclaimed movies: Oscar-nominated The Wolf of Wall Street and Cannes Film Festival Palme d'Or winner Blue is the Warmest Colour. While the two said films featured only a four-minute and seven-minute long sex scene respectively, the sex was on a totally different playing bed field.

The Wolf of Wall Street featured two group sex scenes while Blue is the Warmest Colour saw two lesbians getting it on.

However, according to the guidelines, "gratuitous, exploitative or offensive depictions or sexual activity including fetishes or practices which are offensive or abhorrent” are not allowed for all ratings.

So how did BDSM manage to avoid the scissors?

Because it's a global phenomenon? Because it has a large following? Because the books were banned in Singapore libraries (apparently for bad writing. Go figure) and everyone wants a piece of Christian Grey? Because it's banned in Malaysia and our neighbours will flock to our cinemas in search of cinematic orgasm?

Okay, here's the clarification (watch out for spoilers):

Overall, the sexual scenes are treated in a sensuous manner. While mild bondage and whipping are depicted, the scenes focus on the characters’ sexual arousal through their facial expressions and do not depict the sadomasochistic aspect of these acts. (SPOILER ALERT) In view of the context in which the scenes are depicted, and the concluding decision made by the female protagonist to reject the male protagonist and the pain-inflicting BDSM acts, the film can be contained under the Films Classification Guidelines, which state “scenes depicting sexual activities such as sadomasochism, bondage or sexual violence will be subject to strict review and may only be allowed under a higher rating, depending on the treatment and context. The content should also not be gratuitous or excessive.

If the tampon scene is not omitted from the movie, it could be a different story. Well, there's always Part 2 and 3.

Pro tip for all movie distributors/directors: act it out with your face and don't shoot the privates. Check out how they do it:

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Or if you are into toys:

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