There is no joy quite as profound as having a baby - except having an SG50 baby!

For this miraculous thing to happen, you have to conceive and give birth to a child by the end of this year. As seen in Channel News Asia’s report on celebrities Joanne Peh and Qi Yuwu, your baby will suddenly be transformed - even when it is still in the womb - into an SG50 baby.

Apparently, Peh and Qi were waiting until the “safe period” to share the news. No, they weren’t. The sly celebrities were waiting for the SG50 period.

So hurry up would-be parents, start doing the patriotic deed! There are only eleven months left before this year ends, and pregnancy usually lasts nine months. That would mean you would have to conceive by March.

To paraphrase Shakespeare: Start making the SG50 beast with two backs.

Help Is Here, Even The Naughty Kind

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Don’t worry, you will not be alone if you decide to undertake this SG50 mission. You will be guided by the I Love Staycation squad, a collaboration of twelve hotels and Maybe Baby.

These national heroes have come up with a range of romantic deals to get you in the mood for some Singaporean love-making.

According to Today, your best bet would be to sign up for the Naumi Hotel deal:

“For S$550++, the hotel presents a scented Oasis Room to lay the stage for action. In addition to that, you get a bouquet of flowers, a rose petal bath, a romantic set dinner for two including a bottle of sparkling wine, and complimentary free flow wines and beer from 4.30pm to 6.30pm to get suitably uninhibited.”

While I applaud this effort, I think Naumi Hotel has not gone far enough. I think we could also do with bedsheets emblazoned with the national flag and National Day songs played everywhere in the hotel. And if flowers are to be given out, they better be of the Vanda ‘Miss Joachim’ variety.

The people behind this deal have also included a more risque element:

“Highlights of our package would include the ‘naughty pack’ that will be given upon check-in while a copy of the Karma Sutra awaits in the room. (It’s) all part of the simulating experience we hope to achieve with this package.”

Honestly, though, the Kama Sutra? That’s dated and cliched. If the hotel is serious about upping the SG50 ante, it should be giving out copies of The Singapore Story by Lee Kuan Yew. There is no pillow talk like excerpts about our national history.

A Wasted Opportunity

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While I am not ready to contribute a child to Singapore, I hope my suggestions would help others to realise the SG50 dream.

My only regret is that we have missed the opportunity to create Gold Class SG50 babies. We could have:

1. pooled a number of males and females who were born on August 9th 1965,

2. gotten these 50-year-old National Day babies to procreate by December 2014,

3. and coaxed the women to time their pregnancies to this year’s National Day.

Though the time has passed for this plan, we can still create Silver-class SG50 babies. Last year, four babies burst forth from the wombs of their patriotic mothers to see the light of National Day. Let us hope this year’s National Day produces fifty of such children.

It would be an SG 50 miracle!

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