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5 original and different ideas for the next inevitable edition of Ah Boys To Men

Confirm break box office records again.

By Tan Xing Qi | February 26, 2015

It is with a heavy heart to report that Singaporeans will have to endure the Ah Boys and those darn product placements again.

The doyen of product-placing, record-breaking, one-part-too-long local films Jack Neo will add another film to his money-making machinery that is the Ah Boys To Men franchise.

After learning that Ah Boys To Men 3: Frogmen raked in some $2.83 million, making it the best ever opening weekend total for an Asian film in Singapore, he told The Straits Times Life:

“There is the possibility that I’ll make another one, but only if we can come up with a good script and one that is different from the others.”

It’s funny that he mentioned about a good script that is different, especially when Part 3 is essentially the same set of actors, reprising the same roles albeit in a different unit.

Well, that’s fine. Money is the best currency.

Since director Neo is looking for a different script, here are a few suggestions from us. On the house, bro.

 

1. Ah Boys to Men: The Red Berets

commandos
Source: Mindef

 

The Ah Boys wake up, realising that their Naval Diving Unit training is just a very bad dream. But before anyone can say “Hooyah!”, their bunk doors slam against the wall. In steps Sergeant Ong, who is wearing a red headdress, with a matching Ranger tab on his uniform. He barked: “Blardy hell, what time already? Are you ready for your 72km route march and combat jump?”

Pros: Same premise as the previous editions. Good chance to flash some abs. Elite forces. #jinsatki

 

2. Ah Boys to Men: The Armskote Days

Source: http://s16.photobucket.com/user/boiderela/media/DSC02676-2.jpg.html
Source

The Ah Boys wake up, realising that their Commando training is just a very bad dream. But before anyone can say “For Honour and Glory!”, their bunk doors slam against the wall. In steps Sergeant Ong, who barks: “I need some featherlight (actually flannelette) and volunteers to clean the armskote!”

Pros: Same premise as the previous editions. Ah Boys can book out in one piece albeit with oily, sooty fingers.

 

3. Ah Boys to Men: Clerks rule the SAF

Offpass+Gatekeeper

The Ah Boys wake up in an aircon room, realising that being stuck in a stale room full of weapons is just a very bad dream. But before anyone can say “Draw arms!”, someone knocks on the glass window. In steps Sergeant Ong, who with a courteous tone that is incongruent with his usual self says: “Bro, sorry I’m late for RT. Can still help me in pro? Please?”

 

4. Ah Men to Boys: The Volunteer Corps

cb leaf
Source: Tumblr

The Ah Boys, finally men, are sick of their corporate life and beer belly. Facing with a midlife crisis, they reunite once more for a last hurrah: The SAF Volunteer Corps.

Pros: Helps with Volunteer Corps recruitment drive. Jack Neo can star in this show, which will bring down costs.

 

5. Ah Girls to Women: The Fairer Sex Strikes Back

guards woman

The Ah Girls wake up, realising that they are women after all and all those stuff about being sweaty, obnoxious men are just a bad dream. But before anyone can say “Want to go spec mess?”, their bunk doors slam against the wall. In steps Sergeant Ong, who barks: “All you gu niangs, what time already? Fall in now.”

Pros: Can finally use gu niang legitimately. Can repeat the entire franchise again. But no more CB leaf jokes.

 

Our Ah Boys to Men 3 review

10 immediate thoughts any Naval Diver would have after watching Ah Boys To Men 3: Frogmen

 

Top photo from Mindef.

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About Tan Xing Qi

In between episodes of Breaking Bad and The Sopranos, Xing Qi deals T-Shirts to unsuspecting Singaporeans through a roadside stall, which, ironically, is not a physical stall.

 

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