Hardly anyone actually adheres to their New Year resolutions nowadays. Perhaps it's because some of them are really hard to live up to, for example, losing weight or becoming a better person, in general.

So, here’s a list of some resolutions that are actually pretty doable, as long as you keep breathing and don't go into a coma. Or die.

In this coming year, I resolve to:

1. Come up with better passwords for my future online accounts... and actually remember them

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Goodbye qwerty, P@ssw0rd and name123

2. Read something that is not digital before bed every night

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Because when a book or a magazine hits my head, it’s not as painful.

3. Wake up in less than 15 rings of the alarm in the morning

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Or actually waking up. Eventually.

4. Always ensure there’s toilet paper

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You can go paperless everywhere else, but not here

5. To take better selfies

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At least, take better selfies in public or when others are watching.

6. Rely less on Navigation Maps

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If you relied on yourself, you might be more confident. And have your eyes on the bloody road more often.

7. Drive faster than 80kmh in the outermost lanes

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The car won't hurt if you stepped on the pedal harder, you know?

8. Stop sending game requests to friends I don’t know on Facebook

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If it was such a fun game, all of us would be playing Pirate Kings without an invite in the first place, right?

9. Actually read through a full online article before sharing it

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Trust me, not everyone does this

10. Stop thinking I'm damn hot

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Because most people are not. And I am most people. Just like you.

11. Hire a professional walker to guide me around so I can walk and text at the same time without looking up

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If this sounds ridiculous, just look arou- ouch.

12. Act normal outside, bitch silently inside when kids are screaming or crying in public

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Unless the parents don’t look like they’re doing anything to help.

13. Not to join a queue just because there’s one

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When you see one though, always ask the most important questions: “Doesn’t anyone have to work?”

Or “Why do they have so much time?”

Or “Should we come back when the queue is longer so I can brag about it?”

14. Be nicer online

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There’s actually a term for being a nice guy online. It’s called being a Broll (www.brollzone.com). Don’t say Broll-jio.

15. Stay Alive

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Period.

Let us know if you disagree.

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