The FIFA World Cup is here! The majority of the world rejoices at this once-every-four-years event.
The rest of us? We're indifferent or even straight up dread the whole thing since we don't give a crap about soccer. Or football. Or whatever.
It can be pretty lonely and also annoying when everyone around you is talking about the World Cup only.
Here's 11 problems non-football fans here will understand:
1. I have no one left to talk to
And you don't understand a single thing. You're the silent, voiceless one who cannot contribute.
2. And when you try to contribute, you get it totally wrong
You're like, "Oh hey, I can't believe during Liverpool versus Brazil, there were fifty off-sides."
"I love Alex Fergieson."
"This is Alex Fergieson, right?" (Source)
3. Places to meet only include those that telecast the World Cup
Be prepared to only go Boat Quay, Clarke Quay, coffee shops or somebody's house.
You wanted to go clubbing, catch a movie or go shopping? Sorry, you gotta go alone.
4. Your older brother is screaming and stomping his foot in his room
Whenever there's a goal that is. You can totally forget about sleeping.
5. You've to bear the burden of asking annoying questions
You're like, "Which team is what colour?"
"How does an off-side occur?"
"Huh? What? No defenders must what?
"I thought it was only 90 minutes? It's already 92. Why are they still playing?"
6. After the match is over, your friends only want to play soccer or Winning Eleven
Or Fifa 2013. Whatever.
They're so pumped up they just have to kick a ball somehow. You've no choice but to continue being left out.
Let's play something different. How about Winning Eleven?"
7 You're the only guy who still brings up Zidane's head butt, but nobody cares
You're like, "Hey, remember 8 years ago Zidane tried to kill that guy? HAHAHA!"
8. Outside of football, conversation topics don't appeal to you either
Because it's probably about cars, the NBA, WWE, making a suit, shaving or objectifying women.
Damn, nobody is as sensitive as you. Nobody wants to talk about feelings and stuff.
9. You can never understand why your friends are so passionate about football
Especially when the teams are not local or that they don't even play football themselves! Mind blown.
10. You're the girlfriend who lost her boyfriend to football and your line of argument sucks
You can't help but scream, "It's only 22 guys chasing after a stupid ball!" all the while knowing it's not going to do anything for you.
11. Your birthday falls on World Cup season
Top photo from THEPOTTERSHAND2011