7 types of pre-university people you meet in S’pore
Twelve years or more of homogeneity and rigour later, the beasts are finally free.
Halloween Horror Nights 7
29 September 2017 - 29 October 2017, 1930-0130
Universal Studios Singapore
Samsung Showcases "Joy in everyday art"
29 September 2017 - 17 October 2017, 1030-2200
By Jolina Phay
After all these years of captivity, going to school and wearing uniforms, students waiting to enter university finally have something to look forward to: A long enough break — about eight months — to unleash every ounce of their long-suppressed individuality that they had to keep under wraps.
Here are the 7 types of pre-university people you will meet in Singapore once they break out of the confines of being uniform-wearing conformists:
1. The Workaholic
We all have this friend. All they care about is making dough.
Didn’t receive a text reply from them? Sorry, they were working. Didn’t answer your call? Sorry, they are working. Couldn’t schedule a date? Sorry, they have work. After getting out of school, all they do is work.
But makes you wonder where they find the time to spend all those big bucks they’re making from their $5.50/hour F&B Service Crew job.
Also makes you wonder even more why they are always still broke. But these are the friends you’re grateful for as they teach you
how not to be like them the importance of balance.
And at the opposite end of the spectrum, we have…
2. The Bum
These are the people who actually make your pointless life seem purposeful.
They spend the majority, if not all, of their holiday being unemployed and doing absolutely nothing (a.k.a. breathing, eating and sleeping).
Well, of course, we do have to credit some of them who search for jobs but to no avail. Funny how the Singapore economy is facing a labour crunch, yet these people can’t find gainful employment.
And funny how you try to offer them a job and they decline.
Even funnier how they spend the rest of the holiday moping about being unemployed and dead broke.
If we cast this group aside, there are those who are more fortunate…
3. The Bum Who Can Afford It
These people are like The Bum but who can afford to do nothing.
These are the heirs/ heiresses to daddy’s bank account. They are born with a silver spoon in their mouths.
In fact, freed from the need to work for an income, these people have so much time on their hands that they think about problems that don’t cross the minds of laymen.
Have a financial crisis or work-related crisis or people-related crisis? Count yourself lucky.
Because these people? These people have those types of problems that philosophers and the intelligentsia haven’t even began to explore.
Consider some of these crisis level existential problems:
*Twitter update: richboy95 says “all my friend working while im sitting here doin nuthang”*
*Twitter update: richboy95 says “4pm and im still in bed, wat am I doin wit mah lyfe??!?!!”*
However, the opposite of The Bum is…
4. The Overachiever
These people will work, yes, sir they will. They will work harder than a mule and smarter than a scholar. They will work longer hours than a clock and faster than Usain Bolt. They will work, and not for the money.
These people have such great foresight, they can tell you Singapore would face a problem that hasn’t even been officially diagnosed.
While you are staring at puny Polaroid pictures, these people develop their photos A3-sized. They see the bigger picture. These are also the same people who are working to strengthen their CVs all the time. These people are looking to better themselves. These people will work project after project, internship after internship and even submit to the abuses of some bosses.
Kudos to these people. Let’s just hope they don’t break before university starts.
Then we have a group of people who look to self-improvement in a different light…
5. The Mother Theresa
These people definitely saw a light. Twelve years or more in school and they merely clocked the minimum hours required to meet the criteria for Community Involvement Program (CIP), not once initiated a community involvement project, nor participated in a single Flag Day, graduate from school and they’re miraculously big on community and social work?
These are the friends who turn into animal, environmental and social activists overnight.
These are also the friends who will promote their cause at every gathering, and don’t try to offer an alternative view on their work, because animals, the environment and society have rights, but you don’t.
But rights don’t come easy, rights have to be protected, and so we have…
6. The Army Boy
Ah, National Service, something uniquely Singapore, something every male Singapore citizen and Permanent Resident must endure. The Army Boy is the reason we can sleep peacefully at night.
He is also the reason our Twitter is flooded with joy every Friday, sadness every Sunday and complains every weekday night. He, too, is the culprit behind the numerous Instagram posts hashtagged Passing-Out-Parade (#POP #finally #boystomen).
In spite of the spam on social media, we still love our Army Boys. We are aware of the sacrifices they make, and we are thankful and proud of them.
Now down to the last and most amusing of all…
7. The Traveller
These are the people struck by the wanderlust disease. But be mindful because they aren’t your mainstream traveller, these people are hipster to the core they would refuse an all-expenses paid luxury trip because they want instead to backpack on a tight budget.
They stay in hostels not hotels, eat roadside stalls not restaurants, choose to travel alone and not with anyone else for company because they know, to be alone, is not to be lonely.
They were probably listening to The XX and reading Love: A Misadventure while on the way to some obscure corner of the world on some budget airline.
We wish them the best of luck in reaching more epiphanies than Marco Polo ever did while on their voyage of life. Hopefully, one such revelation would be that there are so many “hipsters” out there these days that the hipster culture is now mainstream.
And so we thank this break before university for revealing the many colourful personalities of pre-uni persons in Singapore.
Top photo from here