December 12, 07:15 AM 
514 Chai Chee Lane 03-16, Singapore 469029 Feeling proud that you finally have your face on a driver’s license? Ready to show Singaporean motorists that you are the next Schumacher?
Not so fast. The public roads are treacherous and having a P-plate is like having an open wound in shark-infested waters. Prepare to be eaten by seasoned drivers.
1. They will not let you pass.
The P-plate perspective: Signal and wave all you want, but when you wish to switch lanes, other drivers will almost always go all out to make sure you don’t overtake them.
The seasoned driver: Signalling combined with a P-plate, is an unspoken rule for the rest of us drivers in Singapore to speed up and not let you switch lanes. You are expected to switch lanes only when it means no one else gets overtaken. Learn well.
2. Miss the chance to turn, and you will get honked at.
The P-plate perspective: “Oh no, you’re supposed to turn in here, oh it’s okay this nice BMW is going to give way, NO HE WON’T, the world is harsh and unforgiving.”
The seasoned driver: You know the previous point about switching lanes? People like to speed up, not slow down, so you can forget about anyone slowing down to let you into their lanes for you to turn. There are plenty of U-turns in Singapore. Some say the highest percentage of U-turn users are P-platers. Some say.
3. Driving on the overtaking lane
P-plate perspective: When you are on the first lane on the expressway and all you’re trying to do is to be a good driver and keep within the speed limit of 90km/h, you get honked at.
The seasoned driver: Like its namesake, the overtaking lane is for you to overtake people. You can’t do so if the people on the second lane are travelling at the speed limit and you’re also within the speed limit. That’s not how physics work. It’s time to switch lanes if you’re not confident about driving fast. Prepare to get honked too. It builds your character.
4. Pay attention at traffic lights
The P-plate perspective: Looking at hunks and babes crossing the road while stopped at the red light? No problem. You better have split vision or cat-like reflexes though. Singaporeans are known to have only a 0.601s tolerance for tardy reactions moving off when the lights turn green. Prepare to be honked at again. Unless, of course, the drivers behind were also looking at the hunks and babes.
The seasoned driver: Only crazy people speed off the line now. Didn’t you see the Ferrari crashing into the taxi when the traffic lights were in favour of the taxi?
5. Learn to park like a pro
The P-plate perspective: Practice in private. When you’re in that crazy car park in Vivocity with another driver behind you thinking he'll have to wait forever, shock the pants off him.
The seasoned driver: Vivocity carpark is so nice and big. It’s not like parallel parking along the main roads in Geylang and Little India. Heard cars parked at Little India nowadays will get flipped like prata some more!
6. Your parent (or whoever owns the car you’re driving) will nag at you for EVERYTHING.
The P-plate perspective: Just listen. Right now, it doesn’t pay to point out that he/she has committed those common safety hazards many more times than you. Soon he/she will let you take the car out on your own.
The seasoned driver: Wait till all the young P-plate punks start paying for their own car insurance. The other day three Lambos, an ambulance and a few police cars went up in flames. Next year insurance premiums will surely go up again.
Top photo from here.
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