"ORD LOH!"
That's the shout of joy almost every guy in Singapore will express at least once in his life.
It's the mark of freedom as each of our national service stint is over.
Words cannot describe how liberating it feels to finally be done with it.
But this list would attempt to do so. Although girls and non-Singaporeans will be hard pressed to commiserate.
1) No more ranks.
Yep! You don't need to salute some officer or greet some sergeant just because they went to commander school.
It's all about equality outside in the civilian world. No one gets to boss you around just because of rank.
2) No more fear of real punishment.
The fear of extras, i.e. duties, or even being imprisoned was always around. No more!
In the civilian world you can relax and do whatever you want! Well no, you can't, but at least you don't have to keep fearing that you'd be charged.
See? Poor corporal.
3) Your weekends are free!
No more weekend duty! You can now party and get drunk on your weekends and even go to Zoukout!
4) No more green uniform.
No more standard attire! Screw uniforms. Wear whatever you want!
5) Earn some real money.
Get a real job! Get a full salary calculated fairly on the number of hours you work.
6) Become real friends with your commanders.
HAHAHA as if! Well actually you can, if they were cool. It's pretty awesome to realise that platoon sergeant who shouted the loudest is also the funniest dude ever.
7) No more forced physical activity.
Yeah! No more exercising! No more being demanded to do chin-ups, 2.4, shuttle run and stuff. Be as unfit as you like.
Choose to be fit when you like.
8) Spend more time with your girlfriend.
Hang out with her anytime and do whatever you want! There's no more booking in tomorrow so you can cuddle and sleep in all you like!
9) Get drunk every night
Because there's no booking in tomorrow! Nurse that nasty hangover with the peace and quiet at home.
10) Gain some street cred among your foreign friends
Don't tell your foreign friends you had to serve national service.
Tell them you served the armed forces and are totally capable of defending your beloved homeland!
For some reason, they'd be totally awed by you. Try it. It actually works.
11) Find work wherever you like
No more traveling 5 a.m. in the morning to a camp that's at the other end of Singapore.
12) Do real work that really matters and contribute to society
I don't care if your job sucks. It's definitely better than serving for two years for a war that'd probably never happen here.
13) Have any hairstyle you want
No more neatness and looking smart. Forget that. Start looking messy and get totally anime man.
14) Dye your hair.
Then add some colours.
15) No more parade.
Now you don't have to be a square. GET IT?!
16) No more drills.
Walk anyway you want. Or run. Hop around like an idiot. Nobody cares! Do your thing! REAL SWAG!
17) Sleep at home.
Cause you don't got to stay in anymore! Hug your pillow. Kiss your mom good night. Then sleep that sleep boy! Or heck, have a sleepover at your bro's.
18) All public holidays are now real holidays.
Because like, there's not going to be some surprise duty or extra that's going to fall on your Christmas, Chinese New Year or even your birthday! Celebrate good times, come on!
19) Laugh at your pre-enlistee friends!
What? They wanna try their best and go to OCS? They think it wouldn't be so bad and they want the full Pulau Tekong experience?! LOL.
20) Go back to school!
Yes! You know what that means! An actual institution where girls actually exist!
Writer's note: Have fun trying to get back in the groove of studying. It's gonna be tough since your brain rotted for the last two years.
21) Nothing beats knowing you're done with NS forever.
And nothing so screwed up will ever disrupt your life again. Awesome...
Top photo from here
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