We've had plenty of reasons to be disappointed over the past few years in Singapore. The budget-exceeding 2010 Youth Olympic Games. Sun Ho's wildly popular and extremely distasteful China Wine music video. The sad excuses for protestors Roy Ngerng and Han Hui Hui.

And then there's the ongoing Transformers 30th Anniversary Exhibition at the Singapore Science Centre which will set you back $30 per person -- which is by the way, 10 servings of Nasi Lemak, 40+ bottles of Yakult and approximately four movie tickets on a weekday.

All of which I can safely say are better ways to spend your afternoon, assuming you are above 12 and DO NOT have children.

Here are some reasons why I expected much better from Optimus Prime and his friends.

1) They really skimped on the content

Just take these write-ups about each Transformer for example:

[His claws are 920 times sharper than razors] Is that even possible?

[SCORN is so fast he just ran a mega mile while you read this.] What is a mega mile? Explain. [15 marks]

[In battle, he's so ferocious he once destroyed an enemy in less than a nano second.] ... See above. 

[ Can cut 20 busses (Buses?)  in half with one slash of his claws] 20 buses? His claws must be pretty damn huge.

[ Can slice and dice 982 onions in an hour. He still cries though.] What?

[Has devoured 8,233 stoplights...because they were red.] I don't even know what to say.

[His quickest game of hide n' seek lasted 4 seconds. He was the seeker.] Actually, not that a big deal. I've known some really lousy hiders.

[Even his shadows can hide in shadows] Shadowception. Enough said.

[His EMP generator can knock out 2,000,000 cellphones at once.] That must come in handy.

[The Decepticons currently owe him 9,280,000 Energon chips. The equals $309,000,000] Chips? Isn't that gambling? Good luck explaining that, parents. Also, that awkward moment when a transformer is richer than you.

[Destroys every flower he sees...with his breath]  Someone call the NEA! 

[Stinger is an infiltration expert. That's why he's gotten into 328 movies without a ticket] Yes, but I'm sure he hasn't watched To Singapore, With Love.] 

[He's so sinister, he makes Megatron look like a cute and cuddly bunny.] Come on, man, whoever wrote this isn't even trying. 

[Feels strong kinship with kitchen blenders and mixers.] Really?? Alright, I give up. 

2. They really, really skimped on some of the exhibitions

For $30, you would expect that at least some movie-quality props would be on display. That however, wasn't the case. Some of the displays looked like they were done by the same guys that built Haw Par Villa (which in its defence, was built in the 1980s and is free to enter today).

Is that Ironhide? Or some strange mechanical bear they captured and put on display?

"Mom, why does Optimus have warts growing in between his legs?"

"This is not a transformer. It's a sickly chicken with glowing red eyes."

"It's like Megatron went to a Soviet gulag and got infected with some skin disease."

3. Even on the more impressive displays, it seemed like the exhibitors didn't take much effort

Undoubtedly, the greatest draw of the exhibition were the two 7 m tall Transformers models of Bumblebee and Optimus Prime. Here's a picture of the massive Autobot leader. Impressive, I must say. You could also press a button and listen to him utter lines from the movies... which would be played from...

This tiny portable speaker in between his legs.

Come on people, you're not even trying.

4. Somewhat irrelevant bits and pieces have been placed all around

I mean, it's great you tell me that whatever I eat transforms into energy. I just don't think you can pass this off as part of the Transformers Universe by simply including the word "transform." I came to see the 30th Anniversary Transformers Exhibition. About Transformers. If I wanted to learn about chocolate I would have re-watched Charlie at the Chocolate factory.

5. Sub-par movie screenings

First of all, only the first three Transformer movies were screened.  It would be nice if the fourth was as well. I mean, $30 is pretty pricey. You could probably buy the DVD on Blu-Ray from Amazon or eBay.  #justsaying

I digress. Never mind that the seats weren't that comfy. The problem with screening movies in a kids exhibition is that kids will be kids. Prepare to get your seats kicked and have movie scenes interrupted by incessant screaming. Not. Good. At. All.

To be fair: 

While I found the exhibition a utter waste of time, there were plenty of parents with their children that seemed happy to part with their hard-earned money. In retrospect, this was a kid-centric event, and I was a fool to have gone with such high expectations.

Here are some reasons you might genuinely enjoy the experience;

Toy and action figure enthusiasts might be impressed by a decent amount of Transformer toys on display

You do not have high expectations when it comes to exhibitions

You are a great fan of spending money

You have a camera that can take decent pictures in low-light

You are a huge fan of 3D Mapping

You enjoy queuing

Free air conditioning

Verdict: Go there if you have kids that love the Transformers franchise or are getting your year-end bonus. If not, go to the permanent Science Centre exhibit, which will set you back just $12 (adult) and $8 (child.)

In the event you're a slightly cynical young adult? Stay far, far away.

To prove my point, The Straits Times published an article titled 5 Transformers to look out for at 30th anniversary exhibition. Five? Only five?

Exactly. 

I leave you with a picture of a disappointed Optimus Prime.

The Transformers 30th Anniversary Expo runs from 1 November 2014 to 31 March 2015 at the Singapore Science Centre. For more information about admission prices and event details click here. The writer sadly (paid) for his own admission tickets.

Top photo via

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