I have always been close to my father. He called me ‘Corinna’ as his term of affection. In some way, I was always ‘daddy’s girl’.

I remember, as a little girl, crying at the gate of our Toa Payoh flat when he left in the morning for work.

I also remember how secure and loved I would feel being carried in his arms, and how sad I was when he told me that I was getting too heavy for him to carry when I turned 4.

I remember calling for him in the middle of the night whenever I needed to use the potty, and he would wake up, just to accompany me to use the potty.

Every night, without fail, I would give him a goodnight kiss on the cheek, and he would give me a kiss in return. It made me feel special, that my father took the time at the end of each day, to show his affection for me in that way. It made me feel secure and loved. Even up till now, if we happen to be under the same roof at the end of the day, just before either one of us goes to bed, we will give each other a good night kiss.

As a little girl, whenever he would give me a lift somewhere, either to school, or to a friends’ house, or downtown, I would kiss his cheek before I left the car and he kissed my cheek in return. That little gesture of affection continues to this day.

I have my father’s eyebrows. Thick, bushy, arched like fuzzy arrows. Of course, at this point in my life, I’ve had it shaped and threaded and plucked to neat arches but I can still see my Papa’s legacy of thick eyebrows on his granddaughter Claire’s features.

I have also been skinny most of my life and blessed with a high metabolic rate, thanks to the genes I’ve inherited from my father. My mother has tried every means to fatten him up since the day she married him, but to no avail.

Perhaps it’s his love for tea. My brother and I have inherited Papa’s tea-drinking habit and I cannot let a day go by with at least one cup of tea, if not two.

But even more than their physical marks on our semblence, our parents leave their mark upon our souls.

“I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren't trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom.” ― Umberto Eco, Foucault's Pendulum

[quip float="pqleft"] Just like how a drop of water can carve a hole in a rock over the course of time, it was always the little things my Papa did as he conducted himself in daily life, that made an impact on me. He didn’t have to tell me. He taught me by living out his lessons.[/quip]

[quipbox float="right" boxcolor="000000" boxhead="Corrinne May's column"]

One of my favourite storybooks is The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein.

The themes of love and sacrifice are intrinsically intertwined in our lives and it helps to always reflect on where we are, where we've come from and where we are going.

This column is my 'journal' of sorts, to explore the intersection between the roots and wings of this life.

[/quipbox]

My father has a knack for being kind. By his actions, I have learnt to look for the good in others, to be compassionate and generous to others, and to overlook the small and petty faults that might otherwise irritate.

Through the way he treats his family, I have learnt the importance of respect, patience and filial piety. By the way he is often upright and ethical in his work, business and personal relationships, I have learnt the virtue of being ethical.

My father also cultivated a love for music in me. It is because of him that I love Johann Strauss’ waltzes. My father also has a great ear for a melody. He is always humming a good classical melody, or talking about the great melodies that he grew up loving, melodies like ‘O Solo Mio’. Now, when we have the time to sit at the piano together, he often requests that I play one of his favourite songs, songs like the waltz ‘Over the Waves’ (by Juventino Rosas), ‘More (Theme from ‘Mondo Cane’), songs that are rich in melodic beauty and yearning.

On another note, I remember him taking organ lessons and how he would often play the wrong notes on the pedal. As a little girl, I would quickly scamper under his feet to place his foot on the right note!

My father always bemoaned the fact though, that my brother and I never inherited his aptitude for mathematics. My brother and I often struggled with our math homework and and neither one of us liked the subject. Ah well, you win some, you lose some. :)

When I was in Junior College, I saw the movie ‘Father of the Bride’. I was so taken by the movie that I bought tickets for my parents to watch the movie. It is a movie about how the father, played by Steve Martin, goes through the whole gamut of emotions when his daughter gets married. I guess in some way, I wanted my father to see the movie, because I knew, someday, he would have to face the same roller-coaster emotions of seeing his little daughter get married and have to walk her down the aisle and give her away to her husband.

Well, that day soon came in September 2003. During my wedding dinner, my father recounted this during his wedding dinner speech and I was very moved when he told me later that he had composed a little poem for the occasion. He didn’t manage to share the poem that night at the wedding dinner, because he didn’t want to take up too much time at his speech, but I shall recount what he meant to share, just to share what a wonderful father he has been to me.

Here is his little poem, which I’ve gleaned from his written wedding speech, of which I kept the original copy in my journal these past eleven years…

“My heart lights up when I behold a rainbow in the sky

So was it when my daughter Corrinne was born into my life

So it is now that I am Father of the Bride.”

I know that in his modest and humble way, he is probably feeling shy that I have written all this about him. But I guess you could say that this is my way of practicing what he has taught me; that one should always be grateful for the blessings in life, and never be afraid to express one’s love through affection.

[quip float="pqleft"] Thank you Papa, for all the love you’ve given me. Through your example, you’ve taught me how to love and be loved. What a blessing it is to be your daughter.[/quip] Happy Father’s Day!

Love always,

Corrinna.

Top photo from Corrine May.

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