According to The New York Times, some 2.5 billion people don’t have access to a proper toilet. Yet for the 5.4 million of us here in the little red dot, there’s a toilet wherever we turn.

But having a toilet with a functional flushing system and running tap doesn’t cut it anymore. It has to seduce us, make us really comfortable and preferably give us huge doses of mood to clear our bowels. Yes, our obsession for the being the best extends to restrooms.

So if you happen to suffer from the occasional irritable bowel syndrome, fret not. Here are the top five toilets to take a dump in Singapore (totally not in order of merit and hotel toilets are excluded because they are supposed to be good, no?).

1. Changi Airport

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What makes Changi Airport the world’s best? Forget about that Kinetic Rain installation, that’s just part of the bells and whistles. It is the toilet that provides the foundation, that ultimate pillar of success.

In fact, Changi Airport's ranking slipped in 2009 due to its toilets being less than stellar. Today, when you step into one of Changi’s many toilets, you will definitely see cleaners busy wiping things down or replenishing toiletries. And you can probably attribute the level of attention and cleanliness to former Prime Minister Lee Kuan Yew. Of course, the thought of sending your pesky relative away on a one-way ticket or just plain ol’ wanderlust might have contributed to the frequent bowel movement, but no one will ever doubt the pull of the toilet, run the efficient way only Singapore knows how.

2. Paragon

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Opulent loos and Paragon belong to the same sentence. In fact, their fates are so intertwined that if you ask any Singaporean about the famous toilet, most of them will probably answer you with a hint of nostalgia and wistful smile not usually associated with Singapore. “Oh yes, my girlfriends and I would pay 20 cents each so that we could chat while sitting on the most comfortable toilet couch.”

So it wasn’t a surprise when Paragon’s restrooms won the People’s Choice Cleanest Toilets in 1997.  Now, there’s no cover charge, the couch is no more and the extravagance might have subsided, but without a doubt, Paragon still remains the best place to flex your bowels in Orchard Road.

3. The Jewel Box

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Having a view helps tremendously (that applies to any other thing). That’s why the clever folks at The Jewel Box perched atop Mount Faber constructed a glass toilet with an equally spectacular view just for your dumping pleasure.

Heck, this peach of a toilet even won the Best Toilet in the World. Don’t have the feeling? No worries. You can sit on the couch provided and stare into the horizon to cultivate the mood.

4.Jurong Regional Library

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While this is not the best toilet you will ever find in Singapore, nothing beats the combination of a clean toilet and books. Opened in 2004, the newest regional library in Singapore boasts a collection size of 500,000 volumes. So don’t you worry about not getting the best reading material while doing big business. They say learning never stops, we agree, no s*** in the world should stand in your way.

5. Zoo

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Welcome to the jungle, where we go back to our roots and take a dump in the wild. Well, sort of.

Nestled in the Singapore Zoo are some of the most nature-inspired toilets you will ever find. Surrounded by thick natural foliage, the unloading experience is truly exciting. While in the thick of things, it’s not difficult to imagine a magnificent lion roaring in your direction or a graceful deer running into the sunset. Ah, it’s almost like taking a dump on the set of Animal Planet.

Top photo from here.

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