If Apple did ads for the S'pore government

This is not a sponsored post. But it should be.

He Ruiming| March 13, 02:45 PM

Say what you will about Apple, but the company sure knows how to market their products. Every year, many Singaporeans are inspired to turn in their hard-earned (or their parents') monies for sleek iPhones and Macbook Airs.

Even Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong succumbed. Mainstream media wrote a story on his iPhone. Amazing.

Judging by angry Facebook comments, the Singapore government's projects, on the other hand, gets only a fraction of love from Singaporeans.

And why is that? We'd like to think that splurging your salary/allowance on the enigmatic iPhone 7 is almost financially debilitating as giving 17% of your wages to CPF. But no one protests at Hong Lim Park about the former, of course.

Who knows? The government could learn something from Apple. Maybe it's all in the clean visuals, snappy headlines and the art of writing things to make people feel good about themselves – hey, nobody said advertising had to be honest.

If anyone from the government is reading, here are some ideas for your consideration.

1. How to make Singaporeans drink their pee:newater

You say: From the world’s cleanest city comes the world’s cleanest water. Sanitised by both reverse osmosis and ultraviolet rays, NEWater is more than a symbol of Singapore’s sustainability. It’s proof of our expertise and independence.

2. How to get more westies to travel for 10,000 years to Changi: (But who are we kidding? Jurong is awesome)

changi-jewel

You say: To revolutionise travel, we reengineered the airport. Spanning 134,000 square metres with over 300 retail tenants, the new Changi Jewel provides hours of unadulterated pleasure, long before you’ve even entered Singapore. Jetting off is now painless, and coming home has never been sweeter.

 

3. How to get more people to start looking into investing: (Don't invest in this unless you've read up about it, okay? We're not your financial consultants)

ssb

You say: Big rewards. Tiny risk. Backed by an institution that’s rated AAA by credit rating agencies, enjoy safety and maximum flexibility with the Singapore Savings Bonds. With investments starting at $500, almost anyone can get started.

 

4. How to get Singaporeans finally start using their SkillsFuture credits:

skills-futureYou say: Since independence, we’ve counted solely on our people to succeed. 50 years on, little has changed. With hundreds of courses and certifications to choose from, the new SkillsFuture scheme lets Singaporeans invest in their most precious resource – themselves.

5. How to convince parents that neighbourhood schools and elite schools are the same:

Screen Shot 2016-03-12 at 3.43.47 am

You say: Our education system has always been good, but with new initiatives that create opportunities for all, it’s gotten better. Now, our young can now experience the benefits of meritocracy. Starting at the very beginning.

 

6. How to make more Singaporeans feel good about their epic passport:

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You say: 173 countries. One passport. Visa-free. We took a timeless product apart and updated it for the future. The new biometric passport is lighter, more secure, and will take you through customs up to 12 times faster – you could say it’s almost like flying.

 

7. How to help the elderly feel appreciated 

pg-paackage

You say: You served the nation during the golden age. Now, let us repay you during your silver years. The Pioneer Generation Card gives Singapore’s first citizens subsidies at polyclinics, public hospitals and national speciality centres.

8. How to clear the huge stock of your unwieldy SG50 notes:

Screen Shot 2016-03-12 at 2.51.43 am

You say: Lee Kuan Yew. Yusof Ishak. After 50 years, our first Prime Minister and President finally meet on the same page. Own a piece of history with the new SG50 commemorative notes.

 

9. How to ease people into future changes regarding CPF:

Screen Shot 2016-03-12 at 3.27.05 am

You say: The world’s best mandatory savings plan is getting even better. To ensure more Singaporeans are adequately prepared for retirement, we’re tweaking the CPF withdrawal requirements.

 

10. How to convince Singaporeans we need more Singaporeans

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You say: We believe in people. That’s why we need more of them. We harnessed the power of 6.9 million people and packed it all into one tiny island. The result is a Singapore that’s competitive, sustainable and dynamic. We’ve never been better equipped to take on the challenges of the 21st century.

 

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