11 honest names for things encountered in the SAF

We're just calling things as they are.

He Ruiming| January 14, 11:06 AM

1. Combat Boots

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Route-march much?

 

2. Load bearing vest

Combat Bra

For helping to carrying loads that need support.

 

3. SAR-21 Assault Rifle

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We don't get to choose the ones we love.

 

4. Heat Rash

Back Herpes

The result of the fiery expenditure of energy.

5. Helmet

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Made on your forehead.

 

6. Water bladder 

Exploding Water Cushion

A suicide-water-bomber.

 

7. The Recruit Haircut

Girl Repellant

Though you can also consider...

 

Monthly Vasectomy

This is sort of true too.

 

8. SAF Powder

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Thank you, SAF powder.

 

 9. SAF Black Tape

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Nothing that it can't fix.

 

10. Insect Repellant

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Think that's bad? Wait till it gets into your eyes.

 

11. Your beloved number 4

Stomp Magnet

What use is a camouflaged uniform if it can't hide you from the smartphone-wielding public? Amirite?

 

Related Article: 

14 extremely accurate SAF vocation descriptions

 

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