50 memorable lines that can only be Made in S'pore

#SG50: We updated our 49 lines listicle last year and added five new lines.

Martino Tan| August 10, 09:17 AM

People who do not know Singaporeans think that we are boring or emotionless.

In fact, there is an urban legend circulating among foreigners that our version of a creative romantic proposal is "shall we by a HDB flat?".

Yes, we are no Shakespeare, Dickens or Eliot.

But who says we don't know how to be creative with our languages?

Here are 50 memorable line that can only be created by Singaporeans.

Just shows you need to know Singaporeans better.

1. "I will crush you, crush you under my foot, like a cockroach"

Source

64-year-old Margaret Chan's catchphrase when she acted as the matriarch in the 1994 TV soap Masters of the Sea.

 

2. "I give you an example: you put out a fun podcast, you talk about ‘bak chor mee’; I will say 'mee siam mai hum', then we compete.”

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Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong, during the 2006 National Day Rally.

 

3. "This reminds me of a story. Long before your time, in the southern province of China ..."

Moses Lim's Tan Ah Teck character begins every story in each episode of comedy series Under One Roof with this line.

 

4. "NUTS"

Source

Sim Wong Hoo, in his book Chaotic Thoughts from the Old Millennium:

"When there is a U-turn sign or when there is a rule, we can U-turn. When there is no sign, we cannot U-turn. When there is no rule, we cannot do anything. We become paralyzed. I call this 'no-rule=no-do' phenomenon – the 'No U-Turn Syndrome' or NUTS."

 

5. 'Hu Hu Hu Hu"

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Jack Neo as an 85-year old grandmother Liang Po Po (梁婆婆). Neo went on to direct Liang Po Po: The Movie in 1999.

 

6. "Who thinks that Singapore would be around for five more years? Kee Qiu!"

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PAP then-candidate Major-General Chan Chun Sing did an informal poll among the audience before his speech at Young PAP's 25th Anniversary Rally in 2011.

Heard of Dr Jiajia Big Brother?

The two young brothers became an internet sensation after their frequent use of the "Kee Chiew (raise your hand in Hokkien) catchphrase.

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7. "Thursday's weather... occurs once in 50 years. If we design for the largest rainfall or highest tide, then we are going to have huge canals in Singapore."

Source: Yaacob Ibrahim Facebook

Then Minister for the Environment and Water Resources Yaacob Ibrahim, Nov 23, 2009. He was referring to the flood which submerged parts of Bukit Timah, calling it a 'freak' event that occurs once in 50 years.

 

8. 你好,我是Lulu。 (Turns to director) Speak-ker English, OK, OK.

Source: Michelle Chong Facebook

Michelle Chong in her role as Lulu, the flamboyant KTV hostess in comedy show The Noose.

Lulu is heading to the silver screen, which will be written and directed by, well, Michelle Chong.

 

9. “Fair-weather Singaporeans will run away whenever the country runs into stormy weather. I call them 'quitters'.”

Source

Then PM Goh Chok Tong, National Day Rally 2002.

 

10. "For a person who runs a million-dollar charitable organisation, $600,000 is peanuts as it has a few hundred millions in reserves."

Source

Mrs Goh Chok Tong, a.k.a. Tan Choo Leng, the ex-patron of National Kidney Foundation (NKF), commented on whether NKF's CEO T.T. Durai was paid too much.

Durai was subsequently jailed for NKF corruption charges.

 

11. "If I am feeling naughty, then I will wear something rad and loud, something, you know, 'Boomz', something that shouts me"

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Miss Singapore World 2009 Ris Low soon had her title stripped after news of her conviction for credit card fraud broke.

Life after Miss Singapore World? Low acted in a movie "Justice Devil", that was due for release late last year. Six months later, there was still no word on the movie's release date.

 

12. "A lot of musicians in Singapore tend to ape their idols as I once did, but at some point, people don't care what you have to say. When a Singaporean band makes the same kind of music as Maroon 5, why would they choose the Singaporean band when they have Maroon 5?"

Dick Lee, composer, Sept. 27, 2012

 

13. "A co-driver is essential, especially as road gets tougher to navigate. The co-driver is there to slap the driver when he drives off course or when he falls asleep or drives dangerously."

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Workers' Party Chief Low Thia Khiang, General Election, April 2011.

 

14. "Pursuant to Section 49, Sub-section 7e, Paragraph A of the Parliamentary Elections Act, I declare..."

Source

Former Chief Executive Director of People's Association (PA) Yam Ah Mee became an Internet sensation for his role as the deadpan Returning Officer for the General Election 2011.

 

15. "All I could say was Abba Abba"

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City Harvest church pastor Kong Hee at his sermon, July 2013.

 

16. "This is Home, Truly.."

Kit Chan, Home, 1998

 

17. "Come on everybody, feel the power, You can Feel The Steam, It's The Dream Team"

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In 1993, the Dream Team was one year ahead of its time. A year later, the Lions won the Malaysian League and Cup double.

 

18. "O YEAH, O YEAH, O YEAH, HEY O YEAH, O YEAH, O YEAH, HO You are the ONE, Singapore."

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 JJ Lin, Youth Olympic Games song, 2010.

 

19. "I tell my friends who are jobless to work at 7-Eleven. They’re looking for people. But they don’t want to. They’re afraid that their friends might see them. They rather stay at home with their pride and be penniless instead of working. That’s the mentality now."

Kumar, 40, comedian, March 4, 2013

 

20. "Tay Ping Hui is a cheapskate"

Source

Reactions from Mega troll Facebook page SMRT Ltd (Feedback), following actor Tay Ping Hui's call for a Free Travel Day, Dec. 2013

 

21. "Are you brave enough to let me see your pay cut?".

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Mr Brown doing a parody version of Katy Perry's Peacock on Ministerial salaries.

 

22. 给我一点吃的吧,啊? (Gei Wo Yi Dian Chi De Ba, Ah?, which means "give me something to eat, ok?")

Dai Peng, veteran MediaCorp actor (deceased), in a drama series a long time ago.

 

23. 伤脑筋 (Shang nao jing, which means "this is a major headache")

Source

Jack Neo as housewife 梁细妹 (Liang Xi Me).

 

24. Ai YoYo

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Actress Chen Li Ping was best known for her role as a teacher in Chinese drama series Good Morning, Sir! 

 

25. "Best in Singapore, JB, and some say Batam"

Source

Gurmit Singh as Phua Chu Kang, the eccentric contractor with his trademark yellow boots and large facial mole.

 

26. "Don't pray pray" and "Use your blain! Use your blain!"

Source

Gurmit Singh as Phua Chu Kang.

 

27. 人生有几个五年? (Ren Sheng You Ji Ge Wu Nian? meaning "how many five-years are there in a life-time?")

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Worker's Party Chen Show Mao at an Hougang election rally during GE 2011. (4min 37seconds)

 

28. Shut up and sit down

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- AWARE Committee Member (0:49)

29. “The problem now is that under the banyan tree very little else can grow. When state institutions are too pervasive, civic institutions cannot thrive. It's necessary to prune the banyan trees so other plants can grow." - Then Minister for Information and the Arts B.G. George Yeo 1991

 

30. “Please, get out of my elite uncaring face.”

In October 2006, Wee Shu Min, daughter of parliament member Wee Siew Kim and a then-eighteen year-old student on Raffles Junior College's scholarship programme, found herself in controversy after posting on her blog what were viewed by some Singaporeans to be elitist.

 

31. "How much do you want? Do you want three meals in a hawker centre, food court or restaurant?" - Then Minister of Community Development, Youth and Sports, Dr Vivian Balakrishnan

 

32. 我就用这十块钱,赢你这家堵场! "I will use this $10 to win your casino".

Li Nanxing as Yan Fei in The Unbeatables.

 

33. "When you raise ministers’ salaries to the point that they’re earning millions of dollar, every minister — no matter how much he wants to turn up and tell Hsien Loong off or whatever — will hesitate when he thinks of his million-dollar salary. Even if he wants to do it, his wife will stop him." - Ngiam Tong Dow, September 2013 edition of the Singapore Medical Association newsletter

 

34. "I live in Singapura/ It's not perfect living/ But at least it's interesting/ I live in Singapura/ Though it's kind of crazy/ We win other country."

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Hossan Leong, Talking Cock in Parliament (2006)

 

35. "I will always be a Singaporean. I still have my home here where my mother lives with me and I love Singapore and it’s people and food. Gosh! All my best friends are here and I will never want to lose that!" - Moe Alkaff, who migrated to the US, in a 2010 interview

 

36. “With 7,405 people per square kilometre, Singapore is “the most crowded society in human history” with no “pressure-release valve”, which other countries with a countryside possess. The population density is expected to increase to 10,000 people per square kilometre by 2030.” – former Attorney-General Walter Woon, TODAY, 15 Nov, 2013

 

37. She look so business woman in the photo up there! Like those OL I like! She can punish me anytime! Serina! I never do the accounts properly! Scold me! Tie me up! Spank my backside! - Rockson Tan, Aug. 2013, "Rockson Love Serina Swee!!!"

 

38. 'Le kua la! Le kua la!

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Uncle, who acted as an elderly former massage therapist, for Singapore-based community jobs website Jobiness, Nov, 2012.

 

39. "When I made the decision to join politics..."

 

The post on the ministerial salaries review by then Senior Minister of State for Information, Communications and the Arts Grace Fu was so viral, it became a meme.

You can still find Singaporeans' humourous contributions on "when I made the decision" tumblr account.

 

40. "If you have a comfortable life then you're going to become a nice sort of couch potato, and just take it in and be brain dead." - Eric Khoo

 

41. "Har Nor, Lang Boh Swee Tao Moh Swee, Bien Geen Lah"

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Channel News Asia's Glenda Chong speaking dialect.

 

42. "You sure ah, you got black and white ah?"

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Muthu, Just Follow Law (2007)

 

43. "Sio Pa Mah Si Ji Kuan Chai Hua."

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Translation: "Fighting is also a sort of talent", from I Not Stupid Too (2006).

 

44. "Make some noise. Everybody scream!!!"

Source: NDPeeps

Gurmit Singh saying the same things, at every parade, Singapore Idol show and the Youth Olympic opening/closing ceremony.

45. "Many years ago, as a school dropout, I never imagined that I would one day be anything other than a hawker's assistant. I hope these memoirs will show many young people setting out in their careers today, that with education, hard work and the School of Life, many things are possible, however difficult circumstances may seem at times."

Former President SR Nathan, AsiaOne, Sep 20, 2011

46 “To many Singaporeans, and indeed others too, Lee Kuan Yew was Singapore. As Prime Minister, he pushed us hard to achieve what had seemed impossible...I am grieved beyond words at the passing of Mr Lee Kuan Yew." - PM Lee, March 23, 2015

lee-hsien-loong-bite-lip

47  Underhappy The National Workplace Happiness Survey 2014

The National Workplace Happiness Survey 2014 surveyed more than 5,000 employees in Singapore. The results? They scored an average 59 out of 100, which made them “Under Happy”. The other two bands were: “Happy” and “Unhappy”.

48 We'll commence #OperationAirKangKang - Mega troll SMRT Ltd (Feedback)

smrt feedback quote 2014

49 #FaithinGushcloud - Singapore-based blogger advertising network Gushcloud, Christmas eve, 2014.

#FaithInushcloud

This fight between Gen Y bloggers led to an apology by the CEO of a $68 billion company in March this year.

50. "The Auditor-General's findings confirm that something is seriously wrong at the AHPETC. They paint a picture of financial mismanagement, incompetence and negligence in corporate governance...In Japan, the chairman and CEO would call a press conference, take a deep bow and, in the good old days, they may even commit hara-kiri."

National Development Minister Khaw Boon Wan, Feb 13, 2015.

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