Travelling in cliques, they visit the neighbourhood market everyday for breakfast as well as the freshest ingredients (and gossip).
They are the Breakfast Club of Singapore.
The only difference? Instead of angsty teenagers, they are made up of aunties who, like the members of the Breakfast Club, each have their own unique traits.
Accompanying my mother to the market since I was a baby, I have befriended many of her usual breakfast kakis, and learnt that the following eight are the most common types of aunties in Singapore.
1. The "number crunchers"
She may have a bad memory but she will never forget a number, be it a (very) distant cousin's birthday, car plate or how much the iPod that she bought for your birthday cost.
This is because she believes every set of four numbers is God's way of giving her a windfall.
Apparently, God really loves talking to her because by Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday, she would've compiled an extremely long list of "winning" numbers.
If the reason is compelling enough (e.g. a number they interpreted from the smoke of a joss stick), it will be added to her list.
These aunties, however, are the closest to my heart because I live with one. My mother has been badgering me for the past few days because I keep forgetting to tell her the room number from my staycation.
Let's hope it was not the winning number last week or I will never hear the end of it.
2. The bargain hunter
They know where's the cheapest everything.
And it's not just grocery we are talking about; think bigger and savvier, like electrical appliances, credit card with the cheapest interest rates (and best free gifts, of course) and even doctor's consultation fees.
However, many of them also have characteristic number 1, so basically all the savings they made from cost cutting goes to 4D which, sadly, has no discounts for bulk purchases.
3. The one who is obsessed with grades
She is the reason that tuition is a million-dollar industry.
Seeing all her nieces and nephews becoming this and that scholar, she feels the pressure to help her own kid to succeed.
That is why she spends most her time chauffeuring her kids to and from tuitions for every subject except PE (physical education) and CME (civics and moral education).
Also, she knows that in this hyper-competitive society, good grades itself are not enough. Hence, an easy way to identify her kid from a group is to see who can play the piano.
4. The health guru
Contrary to popular beliefs, aunties do not just drink bird's nest and line dance to stay healthy.
Instead, many of them are actually early adopters when it comes to health and fitness trends.
Zumba, high-intensity interval training, pilates, chia seed, manuka honey and virgin coconut oil? Been there, done that.
Next time, instead of paying for a consultant, you can consider giving your mother's friend a call.
5. The HDB tai tais
Basically, they do everything an auntie does - including picking the freshest fish from the supermarket - but in their nicest clothes and jewelry as well as the handbag that her darling husband just bought for her.
It is easy to spot them outdoors because they will always be on shades and carrying an umbrella.
The luckier ones even have maids to accompany them to the market to carry their shopping.
6. The auntie who uses Facebook
Almost 80 per cent of my game requests come from my mother and her friends.
However, do not be deceived: they do not just use it for games. I've once overheard my mother and her friends discussing about a photo I took with a female friend.
From then on, my mother has been pestering me everyday if she's my girlfriend.
I've since learnt the importance of privacy settings.
7. The queen of gossips
With her, anything and everything that happens in the market will not go unnoticed.
She knows everyone and their dirt be it which uncle hasn't been behaving, who owes who money or who won 4D yesterday. Dishing and collecting them is what she lives for and what makes her popular with some and unpopular with most.
Be careful if she's one of your mother's friend because she probably knows your secrets as well.
8. The auntie who lives for her kids
She skimps and saves for her own meals but will always request for 大碗 (bigger portion) and 加料 (more ingredients) when she buys food back for her children.
Her favourite brand of potato chips, shampoo and sometimes even sanitary pad is based on what her kids like.
This is an auntie we are all familiar with because she is our mother.
She will always place us before anything else. That is why to repay my mother, I've promised myself that I'll find a well-paying job so that I'll be able to support my her 4D habit. #justkidding
Happy Mother's Day!