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12 animals at the natural history museum that are having a worse Monday than you

To be honest, we're actually considering calling the SPCA.

He Ruiming | May 18, 2015 @ 04:04 pm

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The Lee Kong Chian Natural History Museum opened last month to quite a bit of fanfare, and with Jurassic World opening next month, it is only going to get more popular. (READ: Screaming dinosaur -addicted children and baby prams everywhere.)

That means it’s going to be awhile before it becomes a nice and quiet place for you to learn about mother nature. Not knowing so, we braved the weekend hordes to bring you the highlights. Things however, did not turn out as expected.

Don’t get us wrong, the museum is well worth the trip, but while we were there, we couldn’t help shake the feeling that some of its taxidermy specimens were not enjoying themselves as much as we were..

Here are those we spotted:

 

1. This frog, which is trying to pee while everyone takes pictures of it 

IMG_20150517_110047_HDR

STOMP 1, Modesty 0.

 

2. This gibbon, which does not possess any noticeable affection for mid 19th century/early 20th century animal sketches.  

gibbon angry

This was me in art class during secondary school, I kid you not.

You also make this face when:  During IPPT, when the PTI goes “no count, no count, no count.”

 

3. This bear, which clearly does NOT approve of your museum selfies.

pissy bear

Selfie-sticks are not allowed in the museum, by the way.

(You also make this face when: there’s another MRT breakdown.)

 

4. This juvenile proboscis monkey, which really doesn’t understand why it’s holding a twig.

p monkey

(You also make this face when:  Your dad wants to instagram you with that ugly photo frame birthday present. And then posts to Facebook and tags you.)

 

5. This civet cat, which foolishly wore its contact lenses overnight.

contact lens civet

Live by the lens, go blind by the lens.

(You also make this face when: You went clubbing at Zouk, got wasted and awoke the next day with a piece of plastic stuck to your eyeball.)

 

6. This other bear, disappointed that it’s final resting pose is an awkward pole dance.

disappointed bear

If that’s not the face of disappointment, I don’t know what is. On another note, this museum seems to have quite a few unhappy sun bears…

(You also make this face when: Your bosses announce there won’t be performance bonus this year.)

 

7. This turtle, which unwillingly submitted to peer pressure.

argh turtle

Climb up this wall? Sure…why not?

(You also make this face when: You secretly disagree with your colleagues, but have to agree anyway.)

 

8. This babirusa, which is this close to the rear-end and genitals of other animals

babirusa

You know how we hate people that leave their junk hanging around? This guy knows it more.

(You also make this face when: You have to smell someone’s sweaty armpits during your commute.)

 

9. This unidentified creature being stuffed into a box 

IMG_20150517_114107_HDR

(Note: Actually this isn’t so bad. In 2011, a man was arrested in Australia for smuggling birds in his underwear.)

Now, that’s what I call a dick move.

 

10. This marlin, which suffers from an acute fear of heights 

Marlin

It’s only 2 metres, max. Wait till you try skydiving. Noob.

(You also make this face when: The parking warden approaches your car and you’re 20 metres away.)

 

11. This crab, which would flip its middle finger, if it ever could have one.


Screenshot 2015-05-17 15.31.09

If Jumbo Seafood slaughtered your entire clan, you’d be pissed too.

(You also make this face when: When you chope seats using tissue paper, and people steal the tissue paper. And the seats.)

 

12. This baby crocodile, which god never gave a chance to live

IMG_20150517_110445_HDR

It tried so hard, got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

You also make this face when:  You have a serious bout of lao sai in the toilet and your colleagues just happen to walk in.

 

BONUS: 

13.  This Orang-Utan, which desperately needs its beauty sleep.

IMG_20150517_105234_HDR

Time to pile on the SKII. And sun-screen.

Or even better,  accept that you’ll look this way forever. After all, we supposedly work the longest hours in the world.

You also make this face when:  This is you. Now. On your way to work.

Well, if you think you have a shitty week ahead, let’s put things into perspective:  these fellas will spend eternity stuck in these moments of agony, trapped behind glass walls. At least the weekend is 4 days away.

 

Did you guys spot any other stuffed animals having a worse day than you? Share them with us!

 

The Lee Kong Chian  Natural History Museum is open from Tuesday to Sunday from 10 am to 7 pm. Ticket prices range from $9 to $21, with various concessions available. Buy your tickets here

All images were taken by the author

About He Ruiming

Ruiming is a freelance writer that has lived in Singapore, Melbourne and Hongkong. When he’s not being snarky on Mothership or waddling waist-deep in deadlines, he finds time for life’s simple pleasures: Teh-O PengLao Gan Ma chilli oil and HBO’s award-winning TV series Game Of Thrones.

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