Firsthand: Let's not make concert proposals a thing. Here's why.

Not that magical.

Ilyda Chua | March 10, 2024, 05:40 PM


WhatsappLet's paint a picture.

You're in a darkened stadium with your significant other.

As your favourite pop star croons a love song against the backdrop of a thousand flashlights, he gets down on one knee — and pulls out a ring.

Think it sounds perfect?

Surprise — you're in the minority of people, according to this very scientific poll* conducted by Mothership.

*Not really.

You are not alone.

Concert proposals have become increasingly popular, with videos popping up on socials of concertgoers popping the question in the middle of Coldplay's "Yellow", Ed Sheeran's "Perfect", or Taylor Swift's "Love Story".

And they seem undeniably magical and romantic and whatever other positive adjectives you can come up with.

But hear me out — they really shouldn't be a thing.

Baby, just say yes. No, seriously

Let me paint you another picture.

You're with your girlfriend of a couple years at a Taylor Swift concert.

As the pop star sings the final chorus — "Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone" — you pull out that ring, heart pounding, and smile hopefully up at the love of your life.

In this case, the lyrics are pretty apt. She isn't alone.

Because the two of you are surrounded by 60,000 strangers, many of which have smartphones trained in your direction and are gasping and awww-ing like the soundtrack of an '80s sitcom.

And let's just say she's not prepared. Perhaps it's a bit too soon, or maybe she just would rather not have her special moment filmed by a bunch of strangers.

How can she even say no, with tens of thousands of people screaming "baby just say yes" in her direction?

Short answer: she doesn't.

She can't, unless she wants her rejection to be be forever immortalised on the Internet, cementing her status as being a villain on par with one of Swift's exes.

This is our place, we make the call

But back to the crowd.

There's always a certain element of discomfort in public proposals. At best, they're a sheepish kind of awkward; at worst, they are ostentatious and terribly embarrassing.

But it's one thing to propose in a restaurant or a park, and an entirely different one to propose in front of 60,000 people, who have no choice but to pay attention.

Cringe aside, it's not exactly an intimate moment.

And it's definitely not the right time and place to begin pouring your heart out.

Plus, with all the singing and the screaming that's going on, it's likely that no one will be able to hear anything — neither the question nor the answer not any accompanying proclamations of love — unless it's shrieked at top volume.

Not super romantic.

Hey, isn't this easy?

Here's a riddle for you: what's in a concert venue?

Answer: not much. Because you have to leave everything on the other side of the door.

Courtesy of all the restrictions, a concert proposal allows for literally nothing. No decor, no flowers, not even an overly-sentimental string of Polaroids detailing the timeline of your relationship.

Just a ring, a plastic water bottle, and some background music — even if it is sung by Taylor Swift.

Now, I want to get it straight. I'm not saying that proposals have to all be magical, grand events with roses and balloons and drones spelling out "MARRY ME" in the night sky.

Neither am I saying that everybody would necessarily want a big heartfelt gesture for a proposal.

But the whole point of a proposal is for it to be thoughtful and personal, not easy or low-maintenance.

If not, we might as well skip to the BTO and banquet and get it all over and done with.

Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?

Of course, it's ultimately a matter of personal taste.

Plenty of people, I'm sure, want their Main Character Moment — a spectacle complete with an audience and an international pop icon within striking distance.

And a concert proposal will certainly be a memory anyone would remember all too well.

But there are ways to get that vibe while still making it a special, intimate moment that affords your proposee some level of autonomy and privacy.

Consider a riverside proposal, the sparkling skyline reflected in the water.

Or at the Gardens by the Bay, underneath the glow of the towering Supertrees.

Or even the traditional Singaporean way — on an overseas trip to Japan/Korea/Miscellaneous European Country.

Photo from Years &Co./Instagram

Of course, regardless of how long I spend typing away on this topic, there's always going to be someone out there who thinks that Concert Proposals Are Wonderful.

And I'm not saying they're not. For a certain type of person, they will undeniably be perfect.

But before you get all starry-eyed and swept away by the romance of it all, first consider what your significant other would really want.

After all, as the full chorus goes:

"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone

I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run

You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess

It's a love story, baby, just say, 'Yes'."

Top image by Mothership and from aalisforlifer/TikTok