August 15, 2023, 12:13 PM
After pleading guilty in court for strangling his twin sons to death, Xavier Yap Jung Houn, 50, handed over a personal letter to explain why he now wants to seek leniency, even though he had originally wanted the death sentence.
In his letter, read out by his lawyer Patrick Nai in court, Yap started by apologising for the “mayhem and trouble” he caused.
Says wife's behaviour to son "unreasonable"
He said that over the past few years, his worries for his sons had unknowingly caused him to suffer from major depressive disorder, which he said was exacerbated by his wife’s “unreasonable behaviour” towards their offspring.
Yap explained that his wife was “not willing to accept their special needs” and “her expectations on them to behave like normal children had gotten unreasonable and unrealistic”.
The father also claimed that “physical punishments and scoldings were becoming common whenever the boys failed to meet her expectations”.
Yap said his condition was “further aggravated” after he found that she was “cheating on him”.
“By the beginning of Jan 2022, being overwhelmed by sadness and hopelessness. I had totally lost faith that my two sons will be taken care of in the future, especially when I'm gone,” he said.
Thought that being put to death would be "the most lenient punishment"
He added that suicidal thoughts became more frequent, and he believed that “my two sons along with me would end their unfair sufferings, and in part will free my wife from her burden and unleashing her freedom to pursue happiness with her newfound love”.
He said he was “bearing no ill grudges” and thought their suffering would be over with him and his sons gone.
However, he became remorseful after the fateful day and wished for a “quick death and be quickly served with a death sentence”.
He said it would be ”the most lenient punishment” as it would allow him to “join his two sons soon”.
Found out wife was not sad and threw sons' belongings away
Yap said he changed his mind in prison when he discovered his wife was “not even saddened by the demise of her two sons”.
He said his family told him she “started inviting her lover to stay at their house” and even “threw away her two son’s belongings”.
“She has crossed the boundary that I could no longer tolerate”, he said.
“In no way, whatever karma that I will receive from God, will I turn the other side of my cheek on that matter.”
Promised made to mother to live on
He said he then promised his mother that he would “reveal everything” about why he acted the way he did and “bravely live for her”.
“Therefore, shamefacedly, I'm pleading your honour for leniency in your judgement,” Yap addressed the judge.
He also promised to give back to society after his release, and with his experiences of being a patient with depressive disorder, and a father of sons with autism, he would volunteer in relevant organisations to share his experiences.
Yap is represented by Patrick Nai, Choo Si Sen and Choo Yean Lin from Tan Lee & Partners.
The lawyers also revealed in court that Yap and his wife are going through divorce proceedings.
This is his letter in full:
First and foremost, I want to apologise for the mayhem and trouble I have caused to everyone.
Over the past few years, due to the worries for my twins Ethan and Aston autism and global development delay conditions; unknowingly, causing me to suffer from major depression disorder ("MDD*). By end of 2021, my MDD's condition was exacerbated by my wife's Anna unreasonable behaviour towards my two sons. Apart from not willing to accept their special needs, Anna's expectations on them to behave like normal children had gotten utterly unreasonable and unrealistic. Physical punishments and scoldings were becoming common whenever the boys failed to meet her expectations.
In addition, my MDD was further aggravated after finding out that she was cheating on me. By beginning of Jan 2022, being overwhelmed by sadness and hopelessness; I had totally lost faith that my two sons will be taken care of in the future, especially when I'm gone.
Suicidal thoughts became more frequent; in part believing that bringing my two sons along with me would end their unfair sufferings, and in part will free my wife from her burden and unleashing her freedom to pursue happiness with her new found love.
Bearing no ill grudges, I thought that with me and my two sons gone, their and my sufferings will be over- that is the main reasons on why I decided to act and did what I did on that day.
After that fateful day, I'm become remorseful and all I could think and wish for is for a quick death and be quickly served with a death sentence. To me, that is the most lenient punishment and would allow me to join my two sons soon. Unfortunately, once again the circumstances didn't go as planned.
Shortly after being incarcerated in Changi prison, it was revealed to me by my family members and friends that my wife Anna is not even saddened by the demise of her two sons as she started inviting her lover to stay at our house. As a mother, she even threw away her two son's belongings. She has crossed the boundary that I could no longer tolerate. In no way whatever karma that I will receive from GOD, will I turn the other side of my cheek on that matter.
Henceforth, I promised my dear mother to reveal everything on why I acted the way I did and for what I did on that fateful day and to bravely live for her. Therefore, shamefacedly I'm pleading your honor for leniency in your judgement, in considering my MDD's severity and the ordeals that I had gone through
My greatest motivation now is to continue with my worthless or whatever is left of my life, as I had promised to my elderly mum and to take care of her. Also, that I be given the opportunity in re-contributing back to the society.
After my release, I plan to take up a higher diploma or degree in social service/work. With the experiences of being a MDD patient and a father with sons having autism, plus equipped with the experiences and knowledge I have gained, this will allow me to become a volunteer in certain organizations like Autism Resource Centre Singapore, Autism Association or Rainbow Centre and to be a better volunteer, to participate, and serve in such related social organizations or activities to share my experiences.
For your honor's kind consideration.
Helplines
If you or someone you know are in mental distress, here are some hotlines you can call to seek help, advice, or just a listening ear:
SOS 24-hour Hotline: 1-767
Singapore Association for Mental Health: 1800-283-7019
Institute of Mental Health: 6389-2222 (24 hours)
Tinkle Friend: 1800-274-4788 (for primary school-aged children)
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Top image via Lianhe Zaobao
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