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A squabble earlier this month on the MRT shone a spotlight on priority seats -- a common source of anxiety that many public transport commuters are familiar with.

Public quarrels on the train over the priority seat are nothing new.

A recent CNA commentary pointed out that the tiny bit of hard plastic seems to bring out the worst in Singaporeans.

Situations like that can be very stressful, and for two pregnant women in Singapore, they would rather go out of their way to avoid them, even if it incurs a higher cost.

Z, 31, is currently 33 weeks' pregnant.

G, 27, is 23 weeks' pregnant.

Both women told Mothership that they avoid taking public transport during peak hours because they often find it hard to get seats.

And because public transport rides tend to be jerky, both women feel that it's quite unsafe to stand throughout.

Hence, they choose to book private hire vehicle rides to and from the office.

Spending nearly S$500 per month on private-hire rides

For Z, it started after she encountered a rough bus ride in her second trimester. It was crowded and there were no seats available.

"I didn't want to be this entitled person, so I just stood there; anyway it was only a few stops," she said.

"But then the bus suddenly jerked. I think the driver hit the brakes quite hard, and I almost fell. It was quite dangerous. Of course, it isn't like this every time. I just don't want it to happen again."

Similarly, G is afraid of falling while on the bus.

Her daily commute typically involves a short bus ride between her home and the MRT station. Even though it's a short ride, G feels that the bus rides can be bumpy and jerky, and occasionally prone to braking suddenly. She said that it's quite unsafe for pregnant commuters who cannot get a seat.

"I just feel that I'm putting my baby's life at risk," she said.

"So if there is no seat, or if I see that there are a lot of people queuing, I will take another bus, I'll take those with fewer people, so I know that I have a seat."

But waiting for another bus is sometimes not feasible, especially during peak hours. In instances like this, G would book a Grab ride.

Treat it as a necessary expense

Z and G spend about S$120 to S$140 per week on Grab rides. That adds up to at least S$480 per month.

Even though they see it as a justified expense, it doesn't lessen the "heart pain" of seeing close to S$500 seep out of their wallets every month.

In order to minimise her spending, Z started checking out fares on the different ride-hailing apps: Gojek, Grab, and Tada so that she can compare prices. She also signed up for credit cards that give her more cashback and rebates when taking private hire rides.

But both said they treat it as a necessary expense, like spending on things that help to ease the whole pregnancy experience.

"I feel like it helps me to regulate my own emotions and mental [well-being]," said Z.

Not an irrational fear

Do Z and G's actions border on the extreme? Maybe.

But both women stressed that it isn't bourne out of an irrational fear.

Z recalled an incident where a heavily-pregnant friend was shoved from the back while jostling with the morning crowd on the East-West Line. Thankfully she did not hit the ground because there was someone in front who broke her fall.

"I will try not to get myself into such a situation, if I know that it's gonna be very crowded, rush hour, and things like that," she said.

G and Z are also first-time mothers, and they acknowledged that they are more anxious about their pregnancies, as compared to someone who is having their second or third child.

For instance, Z shared that she has been feeling anxiety over a lot of things -- from whether the weather is too hot for her (and her unborn child) to whether she is eating right -- things that she didn't use to worry about.

And then there is the fatigue.

G pointed out that first-time mothers have to cope with the new experience of being pregnant.

"It takes more energy for you to walk a certain distance, and it's also more draining than before. When you wake up in the morning to go to work, you don't feel as energetic as before you were pregnant," she explained.

For both women, these are already stressful enough without having to deal with stressful situations on public transport.

Don't want to be seen as entitled

To be clear, it is not that Singapore's public transport is unsuitable for pregnant women.

The issue the G and Z face is that it's hard to get seats on public transport sometimes.

So why not just ask for a seat?

Both women said that they don't feel comfortable asking for a seat because they don't want other commuters to think that they're entitled to one.

"I think even up until this point, I wouldn't ask people if I can have a seat," said G.

"I don't want to be seen as entitled. So even though I'm pregnant, and even if the person sitting on the priority seat is a young person, I wouldn't go up and say, 'Hey, can I have a seat?'"

Even if commuters do give up their seats, there are plenty of people who "deserve" seats -- elderly commuters , parents with small kids, commuters with disabilities, pregnant commuters -- but more often than not, not enough available seats to go around.

"Sometimes you see certain buses have more old people right? Then how do you prioritise?" said G.

"So in that situation, I will usually let the old person sit because I can still hold the handrail, and I'll be more careful. But ideally, I don't want to put myself in that situation."

The Helping Hand scheme

G and Z recognise that they are able to avoid such stressful situations on public transport because they have the financial means to do so.

Not every new mother is as lucky. So what can they do?

The Land Transport Authority (LTA) has a Helping Hand scheme where commuters with needs can borrow lanyards and stickers that help them become more identifiable on trains and buses.

More than this, Z hopes that commuters can be more aware of the needs of others, especially those in need like the elderly as well as pregnant women.

Commuters don't have to avoid the priority seat like the plague, but "if you see someone who needs the seat more, you should just like give up your seat to that person," said G.

Top images: Vanessa on Unsplash, Euan Cameron on Unsplash