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At noon on Feb. 14, 2023, shuttle buses transporting nine elderly couples arrived at the Senior Citizens’ Home in Compassvale. They were dressed in suits and ties and beautiful dresses, completed with a pair of comfortable shoes or sandals.
Awaiting them inside was a make-up and hair-styling crew to get them ready for their big day — the couples were set to renew their vows.
A make-up artist said to one of the husbands: “Do you want to do your eyebrows?”
“Of course, this is a rare occasion,” he responded.
She coloured them in with dark brown pencil and by the end of it, it was five shades darker than it used to be. “Who is this man? I cannot recognise myself,” he said as he took a selfie.
One of the uncles checked himself out after getting his make-up done.
Other men in the room were touched up with some powder on their noses and pastel pink blush and lipstick.
The ladies, many of who had shoulder-length hair, had it blown up and back, secured with a great deal of hair spray so not a single strand was disrupting their eye line
“Who’s next, who's next?” someone in the room shouted. Those seated at the back started raising their hands, eager for their turn.
Some of the ladies getting their glam on.
They were seated there for quite some time and a few of them who’d never met got acquainted: “How are you, what’s your name? Which one is your husband?”
Once their glam was done, they moved to another room which was decorated with flowers and heart-shaped paper origami dangling from the ceiling. “Introducing the couples…” the host announced as they walked in one by one.
Many of these couples have been together for decades and had different reasons why they chose to renew their vows that day. I spoke to three couples to find out why.
“We’re still happy”
This is Tan Chee Hwa, 79 and Yong Chee Hwa, 76.
Tan Chee Hwa and Yong Chee Hwa. Image from Yong and Shawn Khoong.
In a month’s time, they’ll be celebrating their 55th wedding anniversary.
The two met in 1966 when Tan was a traffic police officer renting a room — as luck would have it — next to Yong’s aunt at Tras Street.
Tan when he was a traffic police. Image from Yong.
Yong would go over to her aunt’s place every Sunday to help cook and clean, and that’s where Tan first laid his eyes on her.
Tan was — and still is — a man of few words, so it came as a surprise to Yong when he asked her out on a movie date one day after he’d given her a ride home.
“Want to go out or not,”, Yong remembers her husband asking nonchalantly.
Throughout our chat, whenever prompted with a question, Tan either replied with a single word or a short sentence.
“What do you like to do during your free time?” I asked, to which he replied, “stay at home.”
“What else?”
He looked and paused for a moment before saying: “Watch TV.”
“He just likes to sleep and work,” Yong said about her husband’s rigid routine.
On the flip side, Yong described herself as always chasing “fun”, even at the age of 76 — from organising baking classes at SASCO Active Ageing Centre (AAC) to going on overseas trips to meeting new people.
“I like to go out kind, I don’t like to stay at home.”
The pair have very different personalities, Yong said as she looked at him with a smile. His face was still solemn and serious.
Image from Yong.
But there was a soft side to what seemed to be an impenetrable demeanour. When they were still dating, if he was free after work, he'd come to her house to spend time with her. And yes, he didn’t come to chat, just to hang out.
“Until my parents said: “Eh boy can go home already,” Yong laughed.
He also made the effort to come over and spend time with her parents (a green flag indeed).
It seemed like he liked her by his side too, adding that he was grateful for the time she’d spent going back and forth to visit him during a period when he was in the hospital.
About 12 years ago, Tan was working as a boarding officer on a ship when he fell off, hitting his back on a small boat before plunging into the sea. He suffered a backbone fracture, went under the knife and spent two months in the hospital.
Again three years ago, he had a nasty fall and had to be hospitalised.
Both times, Yong, despite her working schedule, went to the hospital three times a day to check on her husband and bring him a home-cooked meal.
A lesson she learnt over the course of their relationship was to be patient.
“If you (are) angry at each other, stand in a quiet place and think first,” she said about resolving arguments for over 56 years – the duration of their marriage.
Renewing their vows was Yong’s idea and she thought it was a “fun” event to join when SASCO Senior Citizens’ Home volunteers approached them to do it.
Right now, the couple lives a two-minute walk from the centre in Compassvale, where they once again said their marriage vows on Valentine’s Day this year.
Celebrating my happy family
“People always say: ‘Wow, you’re still with Chandran?’” Helen R Chandran, who’s been married for 49 years, told me.
Image from Helen and Alfie Kwa.
Helen, 65, and Chandran R Neelakandan, 76, met when they were neighbours back in the “kampong days” at Ranjoo Road.
They got acquainted after playing badminton together and eventually went on their first date – a motorbike ride up Mount Faber.
A year later, they got engaged and the following year (1975), they got married in a small church in Toa Payoh.
At first, when I first spoke to Chandran, he seemed shy and quite uncomfortable telling a complete stranger the details of his marriage.
But the man I’d assumed was going to be a hard nut to crack, surprised me moments later when I asked about his wife and kids.
Helen and Chandran with their two boys. Image from Helen.
“She’s very busy. She owns a beauty parlour,” Chandran explained why his wife couldn’t join us for the call the Friday before the event, as she was whisked away at the last minute by her customer.
He went on for about 10 minutes about her shop — from every service she provided to how good her in-house facials are and how popular she was amongst her customers. It explained why she was so hard to reach but it was good to know that business was doing great.
Thankfully, it’s an improvement on the early days of their marriage when the couple faced some financial difficulties and were unable to afford their own place for close to 30 years.
Back then, Helen worked part-time jobs while Chandran was an engineer who was always on work trips and never around much.
Being hard-working is a quality Chandran admires and it is something he saw in Helen from early on.
It seemed like the feeling was mutual; a day later, I managed to get a hold of Helen and she described her husband as a “good-looking guy (who is) hardworking and disciplined.”
Chandran also proclaimed that their two boys showed the same diligence they had, listing their accomplishments over the phone.
Helen and Chandran's family. Image from Helen.
“Good men,” he said about his sons.
Chandran, who is now retired, says his part-time job is to help his wife deliver beauty products for her shop.
Helen added: “He does house chores, buys groceries, like that la.”
“We’ve been happy supporting each other. A very happy family,” he said as the reason why he decided to renew their wedding vows.
She, on the other hand, saw it as an opportunity to express how proud she is of her relationship and to last for “another 49 years”.
One year away from their Golden anniversary, she said the best marriage advice is “to be tolerant, let go and consult” my partner whenever there’s trouble ahead.
Even if sometimes it means to “give in”, she added.
“Double confirmation”
Inside the Senior Citizens’ Home in Compassvale, I noticed a small-sized man, looking dapper in a pair of white pants, a jacket, and red slip-on shoes with gold stars on them. The look was topped off with a stylish white fedora. This was Nobel Teo, 73.
He later introduced me to his wife, 57-year-old Angel Goh, whose choice of outfit was much more discreet — a dusty pink dress, with flowers embroidery at the top, and a pair of flats.
Nobel Teo and Angel Goh. Image from Teo and Alfie Kwa.
“She’s not like other girls. She doesn’t want flowers,” Teo said when I asked if he had bought her flowers today.
“I rather he give me broccoli or (a) money bouquet,” she added, before the pair began telling me how they’d met.
On a random Sunday in the year 1986, Teoreceived a last-minute invitation to attend a bridal gown fashion show at the old Neptune Theatre and that’s where he first saw Goh.
“(She is) elegant, simple, no make-up kind and taller than me,” Teo said about his first impressions of his wife.
Teo is 165cm and his wife is three centimetres taller at 168cm. Image from Teo.
Teo began peppering her with loads of questions and after some persuasion from their friends, they decided to exchange numbers.
But it wasn’t a love-at-first-sight kind of moment, the couple shared.
Instead, they were “calm and cool” and not rushing into things as they had other priorities on hand.
Back then, Angel was just 20 and her “expectations were high” for the man she was with.
Teo, who is 16 years her senior, was doing a master's in Human Relationship (HR) and accountancy and had big goals for his career to accompany him with multiple university certificates.
Teo and his accomplishments. Images from Teo.
So the first six years of their relationship were mostly done over home phone calls and the pockets of free time he had on Saturday nights after he’d completed his school projects.
“At that time, I was very busy. My focus was on my career development and seeking course after course to establish my career.”
After completing his degree, Teo knew it was time to get married to the girl who was there for him throughout. Of course, she agreed.
In September 1992, they held a wedding hotel dinner, with 200 guests who witnessed the start of their lives together.
31 years later, Teo wanted to renew their wedding vows as a way to “double confirm” and strengthen their relationship.
“What do you want to ‘double confirm’?” I asked.
For the couple, it will mean to always take care of one another’s health — and endearingly stay away from scams, they told me.
“So many scams everywhere every day can get scammed over WhatsApp or email.”
The couple also hope to continue their relationship with “zero anger, forgiveness and unlimited patience”.
Valentine's Day event
Image taken by Shawn Khoong.
Inviting nine couples from three AACs in Khatib, West Coast and Compassvale, this was the first time SASCO AAC held such an event.
Notwithstanding, they managed to pull off a very meaningful ceremony.
At the side, a TV had a slideshow of all the couples’ old photos in a loop.
In the centre of the room, a solemniser conducted the ceremony, asking each pair to repeat after him as they promised to continue loving and staying devoted to each other.
Such was the magic of the moment that I managed to catch even the glummest of guests start to grin.
The couples took the chance to mingle before the ceremony, but after that, they moved off in pairs.
They sat next to each other, smiling, laughing, chatting and taking pictures for the rest of the afternoon.
It was as if they were transported to the earlier days when they first met.
Top images by Alfie Kwa and Shawn Khoong.