Between 2014 and 2020, Lee Mei Lan thought that her boyfriend — who she'd known for years prior — was in financial hardship.

The man, Derrick Ng, had told her that his father was sick, and that he was in debt as a result of his medical bills.

He also told her that they would get married soon, referring to them as "man and wife".

Believing that she was helping her future father-in-law, Lee began giving him money, despite only earning about S$3,000 a month.

Six years and S$212,950 later, she discovered via a private investigator (PI) that he owned a HDB flat, drove an expensive sports car, and lived with another woman.

In the judgment dated May 21, District Judge Jasmin Kaur said Ng had treated Lee as "nothing more than an ATM".

"Once the plaintiff was no longer of any use to him, the defendant cast her aside, sending text messages only to ask her to transfer money to him," she said.

Lied about medical bills

Ng and Lee met in 2008 and began dating in 2010.

In 2014, he told Lee that he had lost his job, and he needed money as his father was dying.

She began giving him S$650 a week, which translated to about S$2,600 a month.

This was despite the fact that she was earning only S$3,000 at the time.

"She was dipping into her savings to make these transfers to the defendant, she also sacrificed on her social life with friends and sometimes ate only biscuits for her meals so that she could save money," the judge said.

This was because she believed she was helping to save her future father-in-law, as Ng had told her that the doctors would "stop all treatment" if she stopped transferring him money.

However, the judge found that while Ng's parents were indeed ill, it was a "false" representation that he was in financial difficulty because of his father's medical bills.

In evidence tendered, he only showed his mother's medical bills — not his father's — most of which had been paid via Medisave.

His credit card and bank statements also did not show any payments made for medical bills.

Grew cold when money stopped coming

Initially, Ng led Lee to believe that they would be married soon.

Kaur said:

"They went on dates, they talked about purchasing a matrimonial home, sharing of housework, cooking, having babies, and the defendant referred to them as 'man and wife' and that they would be together till death do us part'."

But as time went on, Ng started asking for more money, including for his shopping expenses.

In August 2019, when Lee's mother realised that her daughter's savings were being depleted, she locked away her savings.

Lee told Ng that she would no longer be able to transfer him money, and his attitude "began to change".

The judge said:

"He began to treat her coldly and would no longer go out with her or text her unless it was to ask for money."

Text messages mentioned in court showed that he would insist he had "debt to pay off" and did not have time for her if she refused to transfer money to him.

In contrast, she would beg him to return to her, even offering to sell her handbags so she would have money to transfer to him.

She wrote:

"Baobei.. piggy wont let u be so tired next time.. it’s only now money lock up by parents ar.. next time we marry, u can stay home few years to rest, piggy monthly give u 3-5k.. u stay at home play games can le… no need to hurry to work de”

In one message she sent in November 2020, she promised to  "take care of all the debts" as long as he came back.

The reply that came a day later:

"If you don’t wan tt [transfer] don’t keep msg I will block I repeat don’t keep msg me"

In court, he blamed the coldness of his messages on his "hectic" work during the Covid-19 pandemic.

Hiring a PI

Lee began to grow suspicious. In November 2020, she hired a PI to conduct a background check on him.

The results: he worked for his cousin's company, already owned a HDB flat (despite having previously discussed purchasing a home together), and was living with another woman.

He also drove an expensive sports car, wore branded items, spent on nightlife and restaurant meals, and engaged expensive hair services every month.

Furthermore, the court heard that Ng did not tell Lee of his father's death in 2018.

This was despite him continuing to ask for funds, purportedly for his "medical bills".

When Lee received the PI report on Nov. 25, 2020 that revealed her boyfriend's secret double life, and initiated a suit to recover her money.

She had already transferred him S$212,850 at the time.

Jilted lover

In his defence, Ng claimed that their relationship was genuine, and that Lee's move to demand her money back was that of a "jilted lover".

But Kaur took the position that towards the end of the relationship, he regarded her as "as nothing more than an ATM".

She noted that they did not see each other at all for almost a full year between December 2019 and November 2020, nor did he accept any phone calls from her during the time.

He had also introduced another woman, known as Denise, to his acquaintances as his girlfriend, the court heard.

In the judgment, she ordered Ng to pay a sum of S$210,050 in damages, plus interest.

She also ordered him to pay Lee costs of S$50,000 for pre-trial, trial, and post-trial work.

Top image by Tyler Clemmensen/Unsplash and David Leczano/Unsplash