What would you do differently to show your love before your time is up, if you had the chance?
One cancer patient, Michelle Ng, 29, wanted an opportunity to gather with her loved ones for the last time.
While living funerals are typically unheard of in Singapore, Ng was inspired to organise one after her medical social worker from HCA Hospice, Jayne Leong, proposed the idea.
“I just want to be a friend to them, as much as they have been a friend to me, while I am still alive,” Ng said.
She passed away on Jan. 2, 2024.
To honour her gesture, her story was shared in a Valentine's Day post by HCA Hospice on Feb. 14, 2024.
“It allows the dying person to create a legacy, and to have the opportunity to connect and reconnect with loved ones.”
Diagnosed at 27
Ng, preferring to be known as "Mike" to friends and family, was first diagnosed with a rare type of ovarian cancer in 2021.
She was just 27 at the time of diagnosis, according to HCA Hospice.
Ng learnt that the cancer had metastasised at the end of 2022 and received treatment at the start of 2023, but it unfortunately did not produce better results.
Led an active life & owned a business
Prior to the metastasis, Ng led a healthy lifestyle and enjoyed activities such as cycling and running.
Ng said she "loved cycling and feeling the wind in her hair” and it was how she spent her Saturdays "exploring new routes before dawn.”
She also owned a wearables business.
Deciding to spend her remaining time at home with her loved ones, Ng was referred to the hospice for support.
She persevered through her illness while pursuing her passions, and also opened a second retail store in 2023.
“She started finding pockets of meaning by connecting with others, and working on her goals,” Leong said.
Intimate get-together akin to birthday celebrations
Over 30 guests attended Ng’s living funeral, which took place on Dec. 23, 2023, at her home.
Photo via HCA Hospice website
“Being mortal inspired me,” Ng said.
“I specifically wanted to call the event a living funeral, instead of a celebration of life (another commonly used term), as I wanted death to be close to our hearts, and not something to be feared.”
Working alongside the hospice's multidisciplinary team, Ng spent weeks planning and preparing her living funeral.
She had wanted the event to be intimate and similar to a birthday party, and wanted to share her love, food, music and books with loved ones and the hospice staff.
Guests were encouraged to write a final letter to her and also asked to bring a book of their choice for a book exchange.
Rai, a musician from Ng's favourite Singaporean band Jack and Rai, was invited to perform at the living funeral.
Photo by HCA Hospice/Facebook
Wanted to raise awareness on palliative care
Apart from wanting to connect with her friends, Ng wanted to raise awareness of HCA Hospice's work and also hospice and palliative care.
She also encouraged her guests to gift to the hospice in lieu of condolence monies.
Photo via HCA Hospice website
“I wish people would know more about HCA and palliative care," Ng said during her speech at the living funeral.
"They have helped me so much, in seeing the light in the tunnel.”
Top photos by HCA Hospice/Facebook