Reaching out for guidance can be tough.
The fear of judgment, the pressure to appear competent, and the uncertainty of approaching someone with more life experience can seem daunting.
19-year-old Shanice Er, an ITE College West student, grappled with this inertia.
“I’ve unconsciously built emotional walls around myself and often viewed sharing feelings as a form of vulnerability,” she shared.
After joining a mentorship initiative by DBS People of Purpose, DBS’ employee volunteerism movement, and ITE, she found that navigating her academics and career aspirations could be a lot less intimidating when she found out her mentors have faced similar challenges in their own journeys.
Exchanging stories
Er and her mentor Subhasree Basu, a Machine Learning Engineer at DBS, joined me for a chat about the programme on a Monday morning.
For Er, this was a brand-new experience. With no idea what was in store, she signed up for the programme available at school, and saw it as an opportunity to socialise with people from “all walks of life”.
Subhasree, on the other hand, has done this before. The 41-year-old shared that she’s been volunteering as a mentor for younger students since her National University Singapore (NUS) days.
Naturally, she signed up for the mentoring initiative by DBS when she found out about it.
After all these years, what she enjoys most is the “very fresh perspective” on things she’s struggling with as well.
“So like what Shanice (had) shared was very relatable to me as well.”
Photo courtesy of DBS.
The two bonded over their love for reading especially when isolated at home during the Covid-19 pandemic.
“It was like talking to a friend. I felt very comfortable sharing with my mentors because we were very, very informal with each other,” Er said.
And Subhasree felt the same way, saying that their interactions gave her some “validation”, knowing that a teen, years younger, spoke about her love for books in the same way.
A simple conversation like this was a segue to getting Er to share what she needed guidance in.
Opening up
At the time, Er was juggling managing school work, family time and three co-curricular activities.
Photo courtesy of ITE College West.
“I'm like a family-oriented person. So, one of the things I faced was not being able to spend enough time with my family,” she said.
This challenge was something Subhasree and other mentors have experienced before and had shared their own experiences with the teen.
“I try to tell all my mentees, we all had similar experiences... You are not suffering through something we have not done also.”
Photo courtesy of Subhasree.
One of the mentors sat with Er as they discussed a plan on how to manage her time better, something that might not be as intuitive to the 19-year-old: prioritising a day for her family, scheduling school work and other events on other days and dedicating time to rest.
Er was most grateful for how the program encouraged her to open up more, even to friends, family and teachers.
“I always expected people to really know how I feel. But if I don't voice out there, nobody will know.”
This was her biggest takeaway from the program — seeking help and advice.
She realised that “sometimes, having a listening ear doesn’t necessarily eliminate my problems, but it helps lift the emotional weight off my shoulders”.
“I also felt like I have gained and received more than what I’ve given,” Subhasree reflected on her mentoring journey, “learning and hearing from the mentees about their dreams and plans brought me hope and positivity in my own outlook in life as well”.
Mentoring SG
Photo courtesy of DBS.
This joint initiative by DBS and ITE is part of Mentoring SG, a national movement that aims to build a culture of mentoring in Singapore and make mentoring more accessible for youth.
Through the program, mentors provide guidance, support and practical advice on school-to-work transitions and personal development.
Mentoring SG invites other corporates who are interested in involving their employees as mentors to provide guidance to youths, to join this national movement.
Find out more about it here.
This sponsored article by the Ministry of Culture, Community and Youth made the writer glad youths can get the guidance they need.
Top image via ITE College West and DBS.