What are the challenges of being a working woman today as compared to a generation before? Do women of today have it better? We spoke to SH Tan, 58, and her daughter Chandel Tan, 27, a Business and Partnerships manager at Mothership, to gain more insight into societal changes and differences in the expectations of women then and now.
As a working mother in the ‘90s, SH Tan remembered having to go back to work after just two months of maternity leave.
Unlike Singaporean mothers today who are entitled to take up to 16 weeks of maternity leave, maternity leave for SH then, who worked in a US-based fashion company during the ‘90s, was only 8 weeks. There was also no such thing as childcare leave.
“In the 90s, we could not take time-off for childcare matters. We had to take annual leave,” said SH.
Having an understanding and kind boss, however, made a difference.
She was thankful that her boss granted her time off whenever she had to bring Chandel, “who was a sickly child”, to the clinic.
What was also unheard of at that time, was having nursing rooms in the office and pumping breast milk while at work.
“A few of us colleagues had kids, but we didn’t even think or talk about pumping milk while in the office,” said SH.
These days, however, having private lactation rooms for mothers to express their milk is widely supported by companies in Singapore.
Said her daughter Chandel: “At Mothership, we have a nursing room, and also additional benefits for expectant mothers such as time off for prenatal appointments, and being exempted from weekend duties, among other schemes.”
Challenges women face in the workplace
Despite the perception that women were fairly treated in her company, SH noted that a majority of the managerial and directorial positions in her US-based firm were previously occupied by male expats.
She also shared how an experience at one interview she went for had thrown her off.
“The interviewer asked me: “You just got married, are you going to have kids soon?’”
“I replied that I would like to focus on my career, but I wasn’t happy that this was asked because I felt it was discriminatory.” Whether it was due to her marital status or otherwise, SH did not get the job.
Chandel chimed in: “I think such questions reflect badly on the company, and as an interviewee, I wouldn’t want to join a company like that anyway.”
Participation of women in the workforce
Based on statistics from the Ministry of Manpower (MOM) the female labour workforce participation rate in Singapore stood at 61.2 per cent in 2020. This is up from 60.4 per cent recorded in 2015 and 54.3 per cent in 2006.
SH noted that back then in the ‘90s, many of her peers often settled for clerical jobs, either because of their lack of qualifications, or because of stereotypical views of what women can or cannot do.
Another observation she made of the difference in work culture then and now, was how employees were often less vocal in the past. Saying “no” to your boss was uncommon.
More often than not when faced with unfair demands from superiors at work, the then-29-year-old would choose to “suck it up” rather than stand up for herself.
“When I was pregnant, I still travelled to Johor Bahru for work on a weekly basis. It was expected. I couldn’t tell my boss that I didn’t want to travel because I’m pregnant SH recounted.
“But I’ve heard that in this day and age, if you’re unhappy with certain requirements or situations at work, you can have an open conversation with your boss,” added SH, who is currently still working at a local fashion merchandising company.
The idea of a progression calendar or promotion structure during the ‘90s was also a foreign concept, said SH, who was paid $1,450 in her first job as an assistant manager.
The amount is a far cry from the $3,000 to $5,000 starting salary that fresh graduates these days command, according to MOM. Of course, this depends on their industry and qualifications.
“Promotions in the past were based on your boss’s recommendation and your capabilities,” SH recalled, and not much support was given on the job — it was all learnt through observation and “growth was very dependent on our own initiatives to perform the task”.
It is still the same for Chandel, who has learned how to hold business meetings and engage with C-suite executives and the like by observing how her bosses do it. But unlike her mother’s experience, mentorship from supervisors is also something that employees at Mothership can expect.
“Mentorship here comes in the form of one-on-one check-ins with my bosses from time to time, in order to talk through certain issues,” shared Chandel.
Being a working mum means wearing different hats
What hasn’t changed through the years though, is the struggle that working mothers often face between juggling a full-time job and their “second shift” at home.
SH, who was pregnant with both her daughters when working at the same company, recalled getting promoted to a manager after returning to work from maternity leave. “As a new mother with added responsibilities at work, it was a challenge. I had to send (my kids) to babysitters as I had no help at home.
Chandel Tan (in blue) with her parents and sister. Photo courtesy of Chandel Tan.
Chandel recounted one particularly memorable episode told to her by her dad.
“According to him, at my second birthday party, my mum had to rush off to the airport after cutting the cake as she had to fly off to Amsterdam for a business trip. The family organised the birthday party at a chalet at Marine Parade because it was near to the airport. But I was so devastated when I could not find my mum after the birthday song was sung and I cried for hours, even after the guests had left.
“In the end, my dad had to carry me to a public phone booth to ‘call my mum’ (by that time, she was already in the air), so I was essentially talking to no one over the phone, but I guess that gave me comfort,” laughed Chandel.
While SH recalled that while there was a shortage of childcare centres back then, “today, there are more choices for parents with different needs”.
And women these days enjoy more benefits, such as the working mum subsidy of up to $600 for infant care and $300 for childcare. According to SH, there were similar schemes during her time, but the benefits were much less.
For Chandel, who recently got married in March this year, these support schemes have made her more open to having children even as she carves out her own career.
But she doesn’t see the challenges for working mums easing up in this generation.
What can help however, is a societal shift in mindset that domestic work has to fall squarely on the shoulders of women.
“Motherhood is better today because husbands are more hands-on. But it is still challenging,” said Chandel, who recounted how her father, a businessman, would be the main caregiver whenever her mum was tied up at work or overseas.
While it didn’t always pan out well despite his best intentions, it has given Chandel and her sister fond memories to look back on.
“I remembered my dad having to take over hair-tying duties in the mornings — but as he wasn't experienced with this, he always used red rubber bands, those that you find at the coffee shop, and for those with long hair, you would know that this meant an extremely painful experience.
“But I guess dad really tried to make sure that I was well taken care of, and ready for school,” she surmised.
Despite the difficulties in juggling work and parenthood in the past, SH has proven to be a role model for Chandel in allowing her to see how women can still balance a career while raising a family.
“My mum has shown me that being a working mother will not necessarily affect your ability at work. In fact, you can even earn a promotion, as long as you are willing to work hard for it, just like any other employee," expressed Chandel.
Work and family
Over the years however, there has been a greater acceptance towards flexible work arrangements, which may help people to realise that the responsibilities of work and family need not necessarily be an either-or option.
This mindset has no doubt been fast-tracked due to the Covid-19 pandemic.
Being able to work from home is something that SH would have liked to see back in the ‘90s.
“I think it would really help as I would have more flexible hours to do chores, spend time with my children and supervise their homework.”
She acknowledged, however, that given the technological limitations then, “it wouldn’t have made for a very fruitful working experience”.
But it is something that her daughter Chandel can enjoy now. Even before the pandemic, employees at Mothership are given the option to work from home once a week.
A work in progress
While steps have been made in the right direction when it comes to championing women in the workforce, it’s still a journey.
“To me, the end point would be when we won’t have to label certain benefits for working mothers or working women as the company’s USP (unique selling point) for being an inclusive workplace.”
What Chandel also hopes to see, is the freedom for women to be comfortable with whatever role they choose in life without giving in to societal pressures or the fear of criticism.
“I have heard from people out there who are of the opinion that all women should be Full Time Working Mothers (FTWM), or that all women should be Stay at Home Mothers (SAHM),” shared Chandel.
“I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer, as it really depends on one’s personal preference and circumstance. But what I hope to see in society is the recognition that women should be empowered to make this choice themselves, rather than being forced by society to conform to certain roles.”
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This article is sponsored by Ministry of Social and Family Development in support of Celebrating SG Women.